‘I worry that my anxious son will buckle under pressure during the Leaving Cert'
My son has struggled with anxiety in recent times. He doesn't handle pressure very well and complains of 'stage fright' in exams. Can you advise on how I can best support him over the coming days and weeks?
Exams are stressful experiences – for everyone. My first advice is simply to normalise that stress. Let him know it's okay to feel pressure and that he's not alone. Watch for signs of burnout, anxiety or withdrawal.
Be open to talking, but avoid pushing. Try to let him lead. Having 'one good adult' is an important protective factor helping Leaving Cert students navigate stress and anxiety.
Another crucial piece of advice is to encourage smart study habits. Help your son create a realistic study schedule (with breaks). A calm environment at home can also help. Ensure he has a quiet, comfortable study space, again where possible. Limit distractions and help set boundaries with screens or social media. More time spent online is linked to higher stress, less engagement in activities and higher levels of anxiety.
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Exam stress is in the air. Could hypnosis, havening or CBT be the answer?
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Looking after the basics is also crucial. Prioritise nutritious meals, hydration and regular sleep. Those getting the recommended amount of sleep (seven to nine hours per night) are more likely to report less anxiety, depression and 'avoidant coping', that is, avoiding problems rather than engaging with them.
Furthermore, good sleep is positively linked to higher resilience. This is very important for managing stressful events, particularly if some exams don't go well. It is important to be able to bounce back, keep studying and face the next exam.
As sleep is so important it is best to encourage students not to study late into the night or the early hours as this is likely to be a poorer strategy than getting to bed and sleeping. This may be a hard message to convince students of but it's worth the effort.
Be sure, too, to remind him that taking breaks is productive and not a waste of time. Sixth-year students who engage in activities such as sport, exercise and hobbies are less anxious, use more planned coping strategies and are more resilient. It's all about balance – studying is important, but so is rest, food, sleep and recreation.
Avoid nagging. Offer encouragement, not pressure. Critical parenting is linked to higher levels of anxiety and depression. Anxiety can be very debilitating in terms of managing the workload and demands of preparing for any exams.
Try to emphasise effort over outcome. Reassure him that exams don't define his worth or future and that your love for him is unconditional. This may be difficult, as typically 18-year-old brains are not fully developed, demonstrated through poorer decision making and insight.
Finally, know when to reach out. If stress becomes unmanageable, consider consulting your GP. Be open to seeking professional support if needed. Early intervention helps.
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