Fewer tangihanga on the marae: Families 'don't feel connected'

1News

23-04-2025

More Māori are choosing to have tangihanga at home instead of marae, says the Funeral Directors Association.
The increase is being driven by factors such as cost, urbanisation of Māori and cultural disconnection.
Rob Moke, 46, is one person who wants his tangihanga at home, due to religious differences with his whānau and lack of time spent at his marae.
"If we went to a marae then kawa, tikanga is dictated by the haukāinga as well as all of our kōrero and our traditions passed down from on the marae.
"At least this way, my wife and my daughter will have free rein to do as they please without being hurt. Not only physically but potentially spiritually and emotionally," Moke said.
Eighty-year-old Vivienne Te Rangiita-Kumeroa had her late husband's tangi at home and transformed the carport into a dining room.
She said it saved so much money, she has decided to also have her tangi at home.
"It was such a huge difference, I'm talking thousands of dollars difference. You don't have to worry about the big huge cost at the marae — it costs a lot of money to feed people for two or three days," Te Rangiita-Kumeroa said.
The Funeral Directors Association has observed the trend across the country. Cultural advisor Larni Hepi said about three in five whānau across the Eastern Bay of Plenty have tangi at home or at a funeral home, instead of the marae.
The Whakatāne funeral director said a falling number of kaumātua and kuia was a contributing factor, and he was worried important traditions could be lost.
"Tangihanga is one of our main acts of being Māori and, when people choose not to have their tangihanga at the marae and apply the customs and the rituals associated with tangihanga, then we have a further disconnect and then it becomes a generational disconnect," Hepi said.
Hepi said cost, cultural disconnection and distance were combining to make Marae tangihanga a luxury.
Haami Tohu owned Eternal Tides Funeral Services in Whangārei and said 20 years ago about 90% of local Māori held their tangihanga on marae, partly because kaumātua had a big say on what happened.
He said about one in five of his Māori clients now held their service at their home, often because due to cultural disconnection.
"You get families that hardly go back to the marae; hardly go back to the hapū; not involved with the hapū; don't feel really connected to the marae. You start to see these kind of factors like, will anyone turn up, who's going to cook, who's going to dig my hole," Tohu said.
Pouroto Ngaropo said tikanga and kawa around tangihanga had changed and would continue to evolve with each generation.
"We can sit down with the family before that person dies, not turn up to the marae and then 'hey I'm here, what do I need to do' but actually the preparations, the understanding and the communication so that when the deceased passes, everyone understands what everyone is going to do to support one another," Ngaropo said.
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