Rod Butterss, daughter Ash open up on alcoholism battles

News.com.au

2 days ago

Former AFL club boss Rod Butterss and his daughter Ash both picked up a drink before they were teenagers, later facing devastating battles with alcoholism.
But today, they share a different bond – beating addiction with each other's support.
The ex-St Kilda Football Club president and his daughter, a holistic transformation coach, want to help others overcome barriers to tough conversations.
The Melbourne duo have opened up about their roads to recovery for News Corp Australia's Can We Talk? campaign mental health awareness campaign, in partnership with Medibank.
Ash, 37, is now five years sober and hosts a podcast to reduce the stigma of mental illness and substance abuse.
'There are hard days but I have different tools now, and I know that a drink would never be a good option,' she said.
She stays 'content and at peace' by practising and teaching yoga, meditation and breathwork.
But she wonders if her journey would've been different had she been able to confide in her parents as a teenager.
While she and her dad have spoken candidly on her podcast, Behind the Smile, it was a different story growing up.
'I felt isolated and disconnected, and I really struggled … at 13 I was cutting myself,' she said.
'I had an eating disorder, I was drinking and taking drugs as a way to self-medicate.
'I tried to talk to my parents at the time – and this wasn't their fault – but I think that they parented from a place of fear.
'If they had the tools to have conversations and not shy away from the difficulties … things could've turned out differently.'
Ash, whose first marriage fell apart, is now planning her second wedding.
But she fears her future children could inherit her demons.
'It's incredible that my dad and I have broken the chain … but it's even made me wonder whether or not I want to have children,' she said.
'This disease runs in my family and the likelihood of my child suffering with mental health and potentially addiction is very high.'
Addiction has cost Rod, 66, businesses, marriages, relationships, and the top job at St Kilda Football Club.
But after a headline-grabbing battle with booze, cocaine and gambling, the entrepreneur became sober in 2010, with one relapse in 2020.
'We've gotta talk about these things because too many families suffer in silence,' he said.
He admits he was largely absent when she was young, but watching Ash's recovery had been 'pure joy'.
'Alcoholism makes you very selfish, and there were occasions where we could have some very deep and meaningful conversations but most of the time I was self-absorbed and busy,' he said.
'As a young father I would just reel off things like 'toughen up son' … so for me it's been about learning to have intimate conversations in a non-judgmental manner, where your job as a parent is to make the other person feel safe.'
In fact, Ash said if he had tried to force her to seek help before she was ready, it would have backfired.
'He's been amazing,' she said.
'Dad never pushed me, he's just always been there to champion me in a very hands-off way.'
Today, Rod immerses himself in writing poetry, reading, mediation, beach walks and journaling, and is surrounded by a strong recovery community.
'I thought to myself the other day: 'You going okay Rod? You know, you're happy. Life's pretty good',' he said.
Psychiatrist and former Australian of the Year Professor Patrick McGorry said research had found some people were genetically predisposed to alcohol dependence, but it was not a foregone conclusion.
'There's a lot of research showing a very strong genetic component for alcoholism and probably other forms of addiction as well,' he said.
'The actual mechanism underpinning that vulnerability is not well understood. If we knew that it would be easier to treat.'
He said he would like to see the community view addiction in the same way as other mental health issues.
'With substance abuse, there's a tremendously judgmental attitude, and people say things like 'They made poor choices', or blame others for having an addiction,' he said.
'But addiction is just one type of mental health problem actually.'