Why it's important to discuss childbirth without shaming

Mint

25-05-2025

If I'm being honest, I don't look to Bollywood's male action leads for nuanced takes on feminism or women's health. Especially not the villain-thrashing, damsel-rescuing heroes of the 90s, whose idea of strength was all about throwing punches and muscle flexing. So, Suniel Shetty praising his daughter Athiya for choosing a 'natural" birth over the 'comfort" of a C-section wasn't exactly shocking. It was disappointing. The actor has since gone on to apologize for the comment, but one can't help but point out that it's 2025 and we're still applauding childbirth choices like they're Olympic feats, while dismissing women who choose (or need) otherwise.
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Shetty's words aren't just outdated; they're dangerous! When public figures frame vaginal birth as a badge of 'strength" and C-sections as 'comfort," they reinforce stereotypes that harm women, affecting their mental health, self-worth and even medical decisions.
THE MENTAL HEALTH TOLL OF BIRTH SHAMING
'I've worked with many clients who've experienced guilt or shame after a C-section," says Madhumita Bhattacharya, a counselling psychologist and the founder of MindBodyAlly, from Bengaluru. These feelings are often intensified by comments from family or society that question a mother's strength or commitment if they didn't deliver vaginally. 'Statements like 'you couldn't bear the pain for your child?' can be deeply hurtful," explains Bhattacharya.
As a perinatal mental health expert, she has often seen this internal conflict overshadowing the joy of childbirth. The guilt keeps mothers emotionally stuck in the birthing moment and acts as a deterrent to their recovery and bonding with the baby. 'When a woman feels she didn't meet a socially praised standard, it can increase her risk for perinatal mental health issues. It can create grief or even aversion toward future pregnancies, with questions like 'Am I a good mother?" or 'Did I take the easy way out?", Bhattacharya adds.
ARE C-SECTIONS THE EASY WAY OUT?
'I am often asked this question and there is never a clear black or white answer," says Dr Sandhya Rani, a senior consultant (OB-GYN) and managing partner and consultant at Focus Polyclinic, Kundalahalli, Bengaluru. While caesareans can be more comfortable till the baby arrives, post-delivery recovery for vaginal births is often a longer process. Hence, the decision to opt for a particular modality, is not based on societal or moral pressure, but on medical indications and the woman's preferences.
Rani dismantles some common C-section stereotypes:
Myth 1: C-sections mean you're 'weak".Reality: They're performed for emergencies like foetal distress, haemorrhaging or conditions like preeclampsia.
Myth 2: Recovery takes months.Reality: Most women resume activity within 6 weeks, comparable to vaginal birth.
Myth 3: Spinal anaesthesia causes chronic pain.Reality: Postpartum backache stems from pregnancy, not delivery method, and is similar for both vaginal and C-section births.
WHY CELEBRITY OPINIONS ARE HARMFUL
When public figures equate birthing methods with strength, they ignore medical realities such as foetal distress, maternal diabetes/hypertension, placenta complications, bleeding or IVF pregnancies after years of infertility. 'Judging birth choices harms mental and physical health," stresses Rani. 'A woman needing a C-section isn't 'weak'; she's making the safest choice for herself and the baby. It's her body, her choice, and we support her all the way."
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Even well-meaning praise from public figures, like calling someone's vaginal birth 'brave" or 'strong", can unintentionally create pressure for other women. This kind of comparison can lead to feelings of inadequacy or failure and, in some cases, compel women to push themselves into an unprepared and potentially traumatic birth experience.
DISCUSS BIRTH OPTIONS WITHOUT BIAS
Rather than ranking childbirth methods, experts urge families and society to acknowledge women's concerns, help them understand their options and seek evidence-based guidance from trusted professionals. Bhattacharya adds a crucial reminder: 'Personal preferences should never be presented as universal truths. What works for one may not be right, or even safe, for another. True support means empowering the woman, not imposing pressure."
The decision between vaginal delivery and caesarean section is rarely made in isolation. It's typically the result of ongoing clinical assessment and consultations between the obstetrician, specialists and the pregnant woman along with her partner. 'While shared decision-making matters, involving too many external opinions can cloud judgment," notes Rani. This is a medical and personal choice, not a public debate, she adds.
At the end of the day, childbirth is about what's safest and best for both mother and baby. Whether it's a vaginal delivery or C-section, what matters is that the decision is made with proper medical advice and respect for the woman's choice. 'As doctors, our job is to provide all the information and support needed during pregnancy. When delivery day comes, the mother can make confident decisions, whether that means using pain relief options or opting for a caesarean," Rani says.
It's time to shift the narrative. From unsolicited opinions to unwavering support, from comparison to empowerment. In the end, what truly matters is a healthy mother and child. Bhattacharya sums it up rightly: 'Every birth is valid."
Debarati Chakraborty is an independent journalist, who writes on wellness, relationships and sexuality.
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