The digital re-domestication of femininity: What's behind the viral rise of regressive gender ideals? - ABC Religion & Ethics

Australia Broadcast Center

23-05-2025

A viral clip from The Pocket podcast recently thrust Aussie host Chris Griffin into the spotlight after he argued that if his partner doesn't need to work, she should stay home to maintain her 'feminine energy' and create a peaceful environment for his return. Activities like 'hot girl walks', he suggested, were preferable to the stresses of paid employment.
Griffin framed his views as supportive and relational, but they amounted to a thinly veiled endorsement of traditional gender roles, where a woman's value is measured by how well she nurtures others, not by her ambitions.
These views were given further attention after being publicly challenged by Laura Henshaw, the co-founder and CEO of the health and fitness app Kic, who argued it is 'dangerous' to romanticise a time when women had little financial autonomy and were structurally excluded from decision-making.
Henshaw's response, in turn, sparked a wider public debate about the rebranding of traditional gender ideology circulating in digital spaces.
A recent 30-country study from King's College London sheds light on the broader context that envelopes this debate. Their analysis found that among Gen Z — those young adults bon between 1995 and 2009 — men and women are more sharply divided on gender issues than any previous generation surveyed. Nearly a quarter of Gen Z men (23 per cent) believe a man who stays home to care for his children is 'less of a man', more than double the number of women (9 per cent) who agree. And 57 per cent of Gen Z men say too much is being asked of them to support gender equality, compared to 36 per cent of Gen Z women. These are the largest gaps across any age group, suggesting gender divides are not closing, but widening.
Such findings run against the grain of the prevailing notion of the young as the most progressive force in a society.
Re-naturalising gender hierarchies
Griffin's views, and the traction they gained, are not just about relationships. They reflect and need to be situated in broader ideological change — and what is now unmistakably an active project seeking to re-naturalise gender hierarchies by cloaking them in the language of wellness, emotional harmony and romantic success. Figures like Griffin, and more prominently global 'manfluencers' such as Andrew Tate, present fixed gender roles not as constraints but as aspirational paths to happiness.
This is the digital re-domestication of femininity. Social media platforms are saturated with content glamorising the stay-at-home girlfriend, the 'soft life', and the high-value man who earns while his partner remains decorative and emotionally available. These roles are often framed as empowering choices, yet the subtext implies that women's economic independence disrupts harmony and perpetuates risks of loneliness — for men and women.
Such narratives exert a powerful form of cultural discipline, especially on young women. They revive an ideal where a woman's worth is tethered to her usefulness to men's emotional needs. For those who might have other ambitions, or be otherwise independent, or queer, or neurodivergent, or child-free, the message is clear: 'soften' or be alone. There is a visible rejection of this message, with a growing number of women creating and sharing viral memes, reels and commentary celebrating life without men and rejecting the idea that romantic partnership is a prerequisite for fulfilment.
Nonetheless, the reach of these viral regressive gender ideals isn't confined to social media. In classrooms, educators report more students echoing the rhetoric of 'alpha' masculinity, challenging women's authority, rolling their eyes at consent education, dismissing feminism as 'man-hating' and, worse, an alarming rise in sexual harassment and denigration.
Research in Australia and in the UK shows that these aren't fringe beliefs, but instead are shaping how masculinity is being learned and performed by a significant minority of boys.
The broader cultural struggle
This makes the task of critique more urgent. It's not enough to dismiss these views as sexist or outdated. We need to ask what makes them appealing . In a world of economic precarity, social atomisation and relational confusion, the fantasy of clearly defined roles can seem comforting.
For some men, a script of provision and authority provides clarity. For some women, 'opting out' of work might feel like relief from burnout — though often only available to the privileged, and even then, coming with financial risks, as per the large gender gap in Australian superannuation.
We need alternative rhetorics. We need compelling public stories about intimacy, desire and partnership that don't re-inscribe inequality. We need models of relational ethics rooted in mutuality, flexibility and dignity.
The views Griffin espoused on his podcast reflect a broader cultural struggle over who gets to define what's natural, desirable or respectable in relationships. We must remain alert to how quickly old gender hierarchies are being rebranded as personal truths, and commit to building relationships and communities that reflect the equity we say we value.
Professor Steven Roberts is Head of School of Education, Culture and Society at Monash University.