How an excise officer kept up their spirits

The Guardian

09-05-2025

John Garforth's work as an excise officer (Letters, 8 May) reminds me of an ex-colleague's job as the same, visiting bonded warehouses to check the quality of the spirits kept in store. After testing, a form was presented to the officer to complete. In answer to the question: 'Was the remaining spirit disposed of in a common sewer?,' the answer always given was: 'Eventually.'Colin PhillipsLondon
Congratulations to Matthew Butte (Letters, 7 May) for his perseverance and ultimate success. In a similar vein, I have been learning to play the accordion, practising every day for 10 years, and I'm still married. I'm not sure whose success is the more notable.Bob ForsterShipton-under-Wychwood, Oxfordshire
As the new pope is American (Robert Francis Prevost becomes Pope Leo XIV as cardinals elect first US pontiff, 8 May), will Trump declare the Vatican to be the 51st state?David ProtheroHarlington, Bedfordshire
I knew I was getting old when first the police, then the headteachers, and now even the new popes have started to look young.Alan GoreEnfield, London
Pea guacamole AKA mushy peas (Letters, 4 May) is also described on one menu as 'Yorkshire caviar'.Trish DurrantBristol
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