Victim Advocate of the Year talks about domestic violence in library series

Yahoo

23-05-2025

Mary Krol of Westfield, a Hilltown Safety at Home Victim Advocate, received the 2025 Advocate of the Year Award from the Mass. Office for Victim Assistance and the Victim & Witness Assistance Board on May 5.
The Advocate of the Year Award recognizes an individual from a public and/or community-based agency who has made extraordinary contributions to the lives of victims and survivors.
In the announcement, MOVA stated, 'Mary Krol is a dedicated domestic violence advocate with a passion for supporting survivors. With expertise in safety planning, court support, and providing essential resources, Mary is committed to empowering individuals and ensuring they have the support they need during challenging times. Her work is driven by a strong belief in justice and advocacy for those affected by domestic violence.'
On May 20, Krol spoke at the Huntington Public Library's 'Day in the Life Series,' where people are invited to talk about their life experiences, said librarian Amanda Loiselle.
In introducing herself to the gathering, Krol said she is married with five sons, ages 21 to 36. She has worked as a victim advocate for Hilltown Safety at Home, a program of the Hilltown Community Health Centers, since 2019.
Krol said nothing is typical about her job. In the morning, she punches in at the health center and checks her messages, to see if there are any clients to meet in court about restraining orders, new or renewals. She also gets phone calls about restraining orders, and meets the clients in the parking lot, where she goes over what will happen, and talks about the judge that will be hearing the order.
She said as a victim advocate, she can't stand with people before the judge. Only SafePlan advocates, under the YWCA in Springfield can request the restraining order and stand before the judge, Krol's former job. She said there is a SafePlan advocate in every district court.
Krol sits next to the victims and waits for their turn, and then moves right behind them when they're called. If a restraining order is granted, the victim will leave immediately. If not, she will talk to them about next steps.
What Krol prefers about her role now is that SafePlan can't work with victims going forward until the renewal of the order. She can help them find support groups, therapy, legal help, a safety plan and housing, if needed. She said with a restraining order, the abuser leaves. In some situations, she has to help the victim find a safe place to go. 'Any support I can give them, I give to the best of my ability,' she said.
Krol will meet with people wherever they're comfortable. Her go-to place is Dunkin Donuts, but she has met them at the transfer station, at the library, 'wherever they are comfortable to prepare a safety plan. I always say, 'You have to have a plan.''
Safety plans can entail everything from changing locks, door jambs, backpacks full of toiletries and boxes of food in a car and stashing a set of keys; opening a separate bank account, having a code word for kids, like 'flowers.' Krol recommends getting important documents together, like birth certificates and social security for kids, and a copy of the restraining order. Other items to prepare include formula, diapers, and a portable battery for a cell phone.
'Work on it, start it. If it's overwhelming, take a pause,' Krol said.
Krol said she gets referrals from everybody, and works closely with the Southern Hilltowns Domestic Violence Task Force. She is the only victim advocate in the hilltowns, and also gets referrals from Westfield. She goes to Hampshire and Hampden District Courts with people she is helping.
She said she can get calls at 2 a.m., such as she did from a woman who needed to go to a hotel. She said she never shuts her phone off, and stays in touch with everybody she works with. For renewals of restraining order, the court won't remind people, but she will call one month before to remind people. 'People can call me anytime, 24/7,' Krol said.
Krol said she originally went to school to become a nurse, but left to care for her dad who was ill, and then her mom before they passed away. She went back to school for human services, and worked for the YWCA as a case manager. An opening in SafePlan came up, and she was encouraged to apply. She said there she found her niche. 'I found where I was supposed to be and what I was supposed to do.' Since then, she has attended many conferences and trainings with the Massachusetts Office for Victim Assistance.
At home, she bakes cookies — sugar cookies that she also decorates, and does her nails. 'I'm not the type who takes it home,' she said.
Krol talked about signs that someone may be a victim of domestic abuse, such as somebody not being allowed to talk to people anymore or go anywhere and hang out. If someone is becoming isolated, or has had to hand over their money. Other signs include bruises and fatigue — sometimes they may be kept up all night by yelling and screaming; if kids say something, or mom looks scared.
Krol quoted from the book, 'Why Does He Do That' by Northampton writer Lundy Bancroft, which was given to her early on in her training, and which she said she has read many times. A copy of the book was also presented by the Huntington Public Library by Donna Larocque of the Hilltown DV Task Force.
'Abuse and respect are dramatic opposites. Abuse grows from attitudes and values. The roots are ownership, entitlement, control,' she read.
Asked for advice to someone who has a friend or family member in a domestic violence situation, she said, 'Listen and be open to what they're telling you.' She recommends telling them you believe them, and to call or text her, Mary Kroll, Hilltown Safety at Home, at 413-695-9977 or email her at [e-mail].
Krol said she works with the police who will give her card to victims, or she will get called to go to the scene of an incident, after the abuser has been taken away. She also works with a few officers she knows for wellness checks.
Asked if she will go to a home if she gets a call that there's violence, Krol said she will call the police, and will only go if the police call her to be with the victim after they take away the abuser.
At the talk was State Police Trooper Brian Scott-Smith from the Russell Barracks, who has ten years with law enforcement. He said domestic violence is one of the more heightened calls, and often they only know that it's a volatile solution.
He said during COVID it was difficult to respond. Jails weren't taking anybody; they were letting people out and they had nowhere to put people. 'It made it very difficult during that time. Courts were shut, lethality went up, the kids were home -- everybody was home, together,' Scott-Smith said.
Krol said during COVID, people were afraid and stuck in the house with their abuser. She said she worked the entire time, at her desk was in a box down the hall of the health center, and received restraining orders from cars. 'We just figured it out. I helped a lot of people during COVID,' she said.
Asked why she is the only victim advocate in the hilltowns, Krol said it is a question of funding. 'I believe there should be a me in every Police Department,' she said.
Read the original article on MassLive.