Haunted heavyweight Deontay Wilder returns to keep his demons in the past
Things immediately get deep when you spend even a short amount of time with Deontay Wilder.
It's what makes him one of boxing's most compelling figures.
Being an all-time great knockout puncher no doubt helps, and against Tyson Fury he has an incredible trilogy that goes down in history as one of boxing's best. He's the most important U.S. heavyweight since the turn of the millennium. And he fights once again Friday against Tyrrell Herndon in Kansas atop a BLK Prime card. It's a far cry from events in marquee U.S. arenas against the likes of Bermane Stiverne, Luis Ortiz and Dominic Breazeale. But, Wilder says, it's a launchpad to reclaim his place at the top of the heavyweight rankings.
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Having lost four of his last five fights, though, it's unclear if the 39-year-old can uncork even 25% of his most concussive punches.
Herndon, after all, is an opponent Wilder would have obliterated in his prime, but judging from recent performances — back-to-back losses to Joseph Parker and Zhilei Zhang — Wilder's prime years may be long behind him.
There may be a reason for those losses, though.
Speaking to Uncrowned multiple times through his camp, Wilder talked of his personal struggles. He sought help, he said, and eliminated what he called 'leeches' from inside boxing, and in close circles away from sport.
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Fighting is what Wilder's known most in his entire adult life. And, right now, it's something he needs to do, rather than wants to do.
Even when he first entered a boxing club, it wasn't because he wanted to fight. It was because of a desperate need. It was born from a father's love for his first-born child, as Wilder needed to raise funds for his daughter Naieya's medical care, who had suffered from spina bifida since birth. Now 15, Naieya can walk unassisted and even cartwheel.
Now at the opposite end of his career, and as he prepares to make the walk for his 49th pro bout, Wilder's hellbent on keeping personal demons in the past.
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His ex-fiancee, Telli Swift, filed a restraining order against him last year over domestic violence allegations. Swift pointed to his "mental health struggles" which were, she claimed, a direct consequence of a failure to secure fights "that could advance his career."
'[Betrayal] is 10 times worse than a heartbreak,' Wilder told Uncrowned. But his 'burdens' have now 'been cut loose.'
'I still had demons around me [in recent years],' he said, in near-lyrical tone. 'God is real, but you've got to understand that the devil is, too. So when God has a plan, so too has the devil.
'The main people that are preying on your downfall can be those closest to you. You get a dagger in the side of your chest. They try to kill you, but you survive.'
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It's not the only time he's talked about death.
'I've got a deep, dark presence looming over me,' he told Ariel Helwani earlier this month, adding that it's 'trying to kill me, bro.'
And, in a poem he posted on his YouTube channel last year, he said:
Much has happened, where do I start?
The burning feeling of fire is increasing in my heart.
Turning into pain
and now, I have no heart.
Loneliness and cold nights lead to suicidal thoughts.
These are the moments one asks himself,
should I take this thunderbolt and blast myself?
At nearly 40 years old, Deontay Wilder says greatness still lingers in his fists. (Photo by)
(Richard Pelham via Getty Images)
Aware of his declining mental state, Wilder 'had to take a wellness check' after the fifth-round knockout loss to Zhang. So, he enlisted the help of a sports psychologist.
'I had a lot of things to handle myself, about what was going on in my head. There was a lot of things in my life that I had no control over,' he told Uncrowned.
"The first step is to admit something is going on. Now you can go to seek options to help. I didn't waste time.'
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Wilder still feels anger, he said, but he channels it in an appropriate way and wants to take that fire into the ring. He wants to knock out Herndon and relaunch his career. He welcomes fights against Anthony Joshua and Francis Ngannou in the near future. He wants to emulate Bernard Hopkins and win world titles well into his 40s. 'I look forward to beating up these young guys.'
He paused.
'I'm looking forward to displaying greatness.'
As he nears 40, questions linger about how much greatness he still has to show. Especially when recent performances have perhaps shown the opposite.
'Heavyweights can go longer,' he said. 'We're bigger guys. We season later in our careers. And I feel like I'm a seasoned fighter.
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"This is not me convincing myself or trying to build confidence,' he said. 'This is me coming from my whole heart, and how I feel.'
Wilder has always worn that heart on his sleeve. Conversations with him, though, often leave more questions than answers. He's loath to dwell too much on the leeches — on the betrayal. It gives him PTSD, he said.
Wilder would rather focus on the future.
And, right now, that future is Friday — his fight against Herndon.
'I'm here, and I feel as free as ever,' he said. 'The king has returned.'
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