Footy star reveals the moment he hit rock bottom due to his drug problem - and the three words of advice that made him turn his life around: 'I was in tatters'
Liam Stocker admitted he felt like he 'wasn't even a human being' during one of the lowest points of his life.
Sat in a bathroom in a hotel in the Queensland hub one evening in 2020, the 25-year-old said he had spiralled out of control, using prescription medication as a coping mechanism to deal with his mental health issues.
During that moment, the Stocker could not recall how many anti-anxiety tablets he had taken and admitted he 'couldn't think straight', but delivered a very clear message to those battling mental ill health, that it is important to speak up.
The New South Wales born defender was drafted to Carlton as pick 19 of the 2018 National Draft, making his debut in round seven of the 2019 season before going on to make five appearances for the club that year.
Stocker had suffered from anxiety and admitted that he found it difficult to deal with the issue, telling The Herald Sun during a candid and honest interview that he 'didn't know of any positive coping mechanisms' at the time.
He turned to prescription medication, because, as he says, it eased the pain he had been feeling and dampened the noise around him.
The footy star (pictured right) had been playing for Carlton when he had suffered from mental health issues and had used prescription drugs to cope with the illness
Stocker admitted that he felt more nervous alone than when turning out in front of a packed MCG, but his problems came to a head while Carlton were in the hub during the Covid-19 affected season in 2020.
'I was just sitting in the bathroom in Queensland and I would have had – well, I don't know how many anti-anxiety tablets by that stage – but I couldn't think straight,' Stocker told The Herald Sun.
He revealed that he had sent a message to the Blues' player development officer, Lilian O'Sullivan, adding: 'I was in tatters.'
'It was my second-to-last day in the hub, and I had been spiralling since I had got up there; in fact, I was past spiralling.
While he had been in the hub for two weeks, he revealed he could hardly remember much of that time.
It was then that he went to the development officer's room and opened up about what was going on.
During that meeting, Carlton's assistant coach Brent Stanton also stepped in, with Stocker subsequently telling the footy coach that he was planning on leaving the hub and heading back home.
But it was Stanton's three-word response that helped Stocker turn his life around.
View this post on Instagram
A post shared by Liam Stocker (@liamstocker)
'"And then what?"' Stanton had asked the defender.
'He challenged me, and it was the first time anyone had really challenged my behaviour.'
Stocker explained to the coach that he wanted to take three weeks away to address his mental wellbeing - but the Stanton responded: '"I don't think that's going to make a difference".'
The former Carlton star was stunned by the words, admitting he was left questioning what he was going to do next - but admitted Stanton's comments were a crucial turning point.
'That was really the trigger point to really fix things myself. That is when things started to change,' Stocker said.
He would leave his team in the hub, heading back to Melbourne to spend some time away from the game and did not feature for the Blues for the entirety of the 2020 season.
After seeking professional help, with the assistance of the AFL, Stocker says things finally slotted into place.
He revealed he realised that the prescription drugs were not going to be a long-term solution, adding that it was a 'consistency of routine that ends up fixing your problem'.
While admitting he was nervous about seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist, he added it was needed.
After making these changes, Stocker said it was here that 'everything improved one hundredfold.'
The 25-year-old would make a return the following season, playing 17 games for Carlton and a further six in the 2022 campaign before he was delisted by the club.
Questions had again mounted over his future in the game, with the footy star revealing he had planned to take up a mental health position at Old Haileybury.
But St Kilda boss Ross Lyon issued another challenge to him.
He and assistant coach Corey Enright offered the defender a career lifeline, with Stocker first joining the Saints in a training capacity after the 2022 season.
Lyon would give him some tough love, advising the 25-year-old that he was unfit and said that to gain a spot on the list, he needd to lose some weight before January.
Stocker did just that. He cut his weight, worked on his fitness and would secure his place in the side. That season, he'd go on to establish himself as a key component of St Kilda's backline, making 23 appearances and banking some career best numbers.
This season, he is enjoying some of his best footy yet as one of the leagues most physical and astute defenders.
He admits it is his feeling of 'belonging' at St Kilda that has been pivotal in helping him play at his best footy yet and added he's loving life playing in the red, white and black.
This weekend, St Kilda will host their annual Spud's Game, in honour of the late footy great Danny Frawley, with the club raising awareness to those all around Australia that 'no one should have to carry mental health issues alone'.
'Spud's message is really clear, you just have to share this stuff,' Stocker said.
Hashtags
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
Kindness of strangers: a woman I'd never met heard we had flu and dropped a big pot of soup at our doorstep
It was 1996 when my husband was transferred to the small rural town of Healesville for work. In inner-city Melbourne, where we'd been living, we had a support network of neighbours, friends and family. In Healesville we didn't know a soul. It was just me and my husband, our two little kids and two dogs. We hadn't been there long when we all came down with the flu. It wasn't a cold, it was the flu – complete with aching, fevers and hallucinating. It was terrible. We did have some food in the house but not much. At some stage I tried to drive down to the shops to get us something to eat but I had to turn back because I was too sick to navigate. We lived 5km out of town so walking in wasn't an option. There were no takeaway food outlets in the town and, of course, this was long before the days of food deliveries. I didn't know any doctors nearby and, being so far from family, there was no one I could call on for help. I remember desperately saying to my husband, 'We have to feed the dogs!' We were stuck. Then there was a phone call. On the other end was a woman who worked with my husband at his new job. We'd never met but she'd got wind that we were sick and let me know she'd just dropped a big pot of soup on our doorstep. That soup saved us – even the dogs got some. It sustained us for days, until I was well enough to prepare the most basic of meals. Without that help, which came so out of the blue, I don't know what we would have done. I later got to know that woman, Kath, and learned that this is typical behaviour for her. She's a very kind-hearted, community-minded person. Kath's act of kindness made me appreciate how much small gestures can mean – as well as what a lovely act of compassion making a meal for someone is. Cooking up a big pot of soup has become my go-to thing when someone is sick. It's always appreciated. From making your day to changing your life, we want to hear about chance encounters that have stuck with you. Your contact details are helpful so we can contact you for more information. They will only be seen by the Guardian. Your contact details are helpful so we can contact you for more information. They will only be seen by the Guardian. If you're having trouble using the form click here. Read terms of service here and privacy policy here
The Guardian
an hour ago
- The Guardian
‘What if I just didn't drink this': the question that changed everything
For most of her 20s, Jamie* mastered the art of keeping things on the surface. She was the funny one, the party starter, the friend who never said no to another round of drinks. To friends and colleagues, she seemed effortlessly confident. But beneath the banter and bravado was a deep discomfort – with silence, with vulnerability, and most of all, with herself. 'I didn't even realise I was numbing anything,' she told me in one of our recent therapy sessions. 'I just thought I liked to have fun. But looking back, I was terrified of feeling anything real.' Jamie, now 39, is part of a growing number of Australians rethinking their relationship with alcohol. For her, drinking wasn't just a habit, it was a coping mechanism – although she was the last one to realise this. She was drinking to blur the edges. There wasn't a traumatic event that she could remember, but because feeling sad or lonely or anxious felt unbearable, alcohol helped her skip past that. It worked – until it didn't. Her 'bottom' wasn't dramatic; she told me in one session it was more like a slow hollowing, and she got tired of waking up feeling like a stranger to herself. The turning point came in the early months of the pandemic. Isolated from friends, stripped of distractions, she began to realise how often she reached for wine to fill the space. 'One night I was sitting alone with a glass of pinot, and I remember thinking – what would happen if I didn't drink this?' That question changed everything. Jamie decided to stop drinking 'just for a month'. But when the fog began to lift, she couldn't go back. She describes early sobriety as raw and revealing. She was suddenly face to face with everything she pushed away for years – grief, anxiety, even joy – and it became overwhelming. Alcohol addiction is often less about the substance itself, and more about what it helps a person avoid. From a clinical standpoint, we understand alcohol not just as a chemical dependency, but as an emotional anaesthetic – one that temporarily blunts the nervous system's distress signals. Many individuals who struggle with problematic drinking patterns may have started out chasing pleasure and to be social; but consistent reliance upon alcohol can result in using it to flee pain such as unprocessed grief, chronic stress, shame, anxiety or trauma. The neurobiology of addiction reveals that alcohol activates the brain's reward system while simultaneously suppressing the prefrontal cortex, impairing emotional regulation and decision-making. In this way, alcohol becomes a fast, accessible tool for short-term relief – even if it compounds emotional dysregulation in the long term. What makes this cycle so complex is that emotional numbing isn't always conscious. Clients often present in therapy describing 'overwhelm', 'flatness' or 'disconnection', without immediately recognising that these are signs of emotional avoidance – and that alcohol has become part of that equation. Therapy helps illuminate the underlying patterns: how early attachment dynamics, adverse childhood experiences or unresolved trauma may have shaped a person's tolerance for emotional discomfort. A trauma-informed approach encourages clients to build somatic awareness, develop emotional literacy and begin tolerating – rather than bypassing – their internal experience. Recovery, then, is not only about abstaining from alcohol; it's about being able to stay present with what's real and building a nervous system that can feel without needing to flee. In group therapy with professional guidance, Jamie started to see how she had numbed her emotions and buried the difficulties she had experienced in her life. 'I sat with just me,' she recalled. 'And I started crying and couldn't stop. It felt like every emotion I'd stored was finally being released.' I encouraged Jamie to begin journalling daily and start each entry with the question: 'What am I feeling today?' Sometimes she said it was anger. Sometimes relief. Sometimes nothing at all. Jamie finally allowed herself to feel – not with fear, but with curiosity. Our emotions can serve as signposts, gently pointing us toward the places where healing is needed: our blockages, our numbness and the parts of us that have gone quiet in the face of hopelessness. Recovery – from drinking, from disconnection, from self-avoidance – isn't linear, and Jamie is still in that process. But what's changed is her willingness to stay with herself, especially when things feel hard. Jamie is one of many emerging in what some call the 'sober curious' movement. But for her, it's not about labels or lifestyle – it's about presence. She's not interested in moralising alcohol use. It's not about judging drinking. It's about asking why. Why am I drinking? What am I avoiding? Can I support myself with awareness? And what might be possible if I stopped? In a culture where numbing is easy – scroll, sip, swipe – choosing to feel can feel too hard. It's important to take at least one quiet moment a day to ask yourself: What am I feeling? You might be surprised by the answer. * All clients discussed are fictional amalgams Diane Young is a trauma specialist and psychotherapist at South Pacific Private, a trauma, addiction and mental health treatment centre In Australia, support is available at Beyond Blue on 1300 22 4636, Lifeline on 13 11 14, and at MensLine on 1300 789 978. In the UK, the charity Mind is available on 0300 123 3393 and Childline on 0800 1111. In the US, call or text Mental Health America at 988 or chat
BBC News
2 hours ago
- BBC News
Hospitals to get £2.6m for 'urgent' infrastructure upgrades
Several hospitals are set to get upgrades after Nottinghamshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust has secured government will include improving fire safety systems, water infrastructure and electrical and energy systems at Rampton Hospital, The Wells Road Centre, Wathwood Hospital, Thorneywood Mount and Arnold Lodge improvements at the sites, which offer mental health and community services across the Midlands and South Yorkshire, are due to start in the summer with the aim of completing next Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, which runs the hospitals, said the funding would support urgent projects and create a better environment for patients. The £2,595,000 grant is part of a national project to improve NHS buildings and infrastructure in Rampton High Secure Hospital and several others, it is hoped the money will allow a full upgrade of fire safety systems - including alarms, fire compartmentation and suppression Wells Road Centre in Mapperley, Nottingham, will benefit from the replacement of ageing at Arnold Lodge, in Leicester, a specialist secure unit, the money will deliver electrical and energy system improvements. The trust said planning work was under way to ensure the disruption was executive at the trust Ifti Majid said the funding was "fantastic news", adding: "It allows us to fast-track improvements that make our hospitals safer, greener and more welcoming places to receive care and to work."Alison Wyld, executive director of finance and estates, added: "By tackling our highest-risk infrastructure now, we're not only reducing future maintenance costs but also supporting the trust's net zero ambitions."
