Kinsler column: Secret to a lasting marriage - making each other laugh
We'd driven to a hotel in Indianapolis to visit our Chicago friend Scott because it's located roughly halfway between Chicago and Lancaster. The visit was winding down, and Natalie offered to get the car out of the Sheraton garage in the interest of speeding home already. She left me and Scott at the hotel bar for later retrieval.
Natalie's report follows:
'You have to scan your room key card to get out of the parking garage. You're supposed to reach the scanner from your car, but I'm too short. So I got out of the car to scan the key card. The arm went up. I quickly got back into the car, but before I could find the gas pedal, the arm went down. I tried again, but the arm wouldn't move.'
'There is a little 'help' button on the scanner, so still standing outside the car, I pushed it and waited. Nobody answered, but the arm went up. I quickly ducked back into the car, but the arm went back down before I could get through.'
'I tried again: pushed the little 'help' button and sprang into the car. The arm went up. The arm went down. The arm won.'
'Third time: I positioned myself carefully, pressed the button, and launched myself into the driver's seat. This time, I barely made it out.'
'At that point, I was ready to construct the Sheraton parking garage a new exit by tunneling through the concrete wall with my teeth.'
'But I persevered, parked the automobile in a temporary space, called Mark and waited.'
'It seems that both men were flirting with the comely bartender. The gathering broke up rather quickly as both are obviously married, albeit lacking close supervision. They sulked as I loaded Mark into the car for the long trip home. 'Phooey,' he remarked.'
--end of report—
The truth is a bit disappointing for both of us, for since we met in 1986 neither one has found a suitable substitute. Through jobs, and weird relatives, and towering disagreements, and two weddings (both to each other) we two have clung together like barnacles, barnacles who read the Wall Street Journal and try to establish a vegetable garden ever year.
'I'd expected you to have shown more enterprise amongst your wealthy finance clients,' I berated her. 'They don't wear Walmart sneakers.'
'But they're dumb and always worry about money,' she countered. 'And you make me laugh.'
She makes me laugh, too. We're doomed.
Mark Kinsler, kinsler33@gmail.com, lives in Lancaster under reluctant monitoring by Natalie and the three cats.
This article originally appeared on Lancaster Eagle-Gazette: Kinsler: We're still together, despite everything
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