‘The scar will always be there': 10 years on, Kinabalu earthquake victims remembered by loved ones

CNA

2 days ago

SINGAPORE: When English football club Tottenham Hotspur won the Europa League title in May after a 17-year trophy drought, die-hard fan Karishma Jhala could only think about how happy her sister would have been to witness it.
'When ... that final whistle blew, I cried,' said the 28-year-old. 'I said … this one was for you.'
Her sister Sonia was among seven students from Singapore's Tanjong Katong Primary School who were killed a decade ago on the slopes of Malaysia's Mount Kinabalu during an earthquake. She was 12 years old.
The tragedy on June 5, 2015 also claimed the lives of two teachers and an adventure guide accompanying the group. Eighteen people in total perished on Malaysia's highest peak that day.
In life, Sonia was bubbly, loving and always helping others unconditionally.
'She brought a lot of joy and light to our lives,' said her sister Ms Jhala, a drug and alcohol counsellor based in Brisbane, Australia.
In the days following the incident, the family held a funeral for Sonia 'as she would have wanted', said Ms Jhala, who was 18 at that time.
Apart from playing songs that she liked at the service, Sonia was dressed in a netball jersey - she was part of the school's team - and visitors were asked to turn up in Tottenham jerseys or similar-coloured tops to send her off.
It reflected the family's strong support for the North London club, that had rubbed off on Sonia. She had a habit of watching football matches with her father late into the night, munching on a small bowl of snacks.
When Tottenham learned of the tragedy that had struck the family, they invited Ms Jhala, her younger brother and parents to watch a match at White Hart Lane, Tottenham's stadium at the time.
Relatives and friends paid for the August 2015 trip, telling them not to worry about the expenses.
Ms Jhala has remained grateful for these kind gestures.
'That was the dream … to go to White Hart Lane and (also) to see them lift a trophy,' said Ms Jhala, reflecting on what Sonia would have loved to see for her club.
'We've managed to tick off both, right before the 10th anniversary.'
Yet it's not that Ms Jhala and her family have completely moved on from the sense of loss.
'Nobody is saying that it is going to be fine, and your heart is going to be whole again - it won't, that part of it will never be repaired," she added.
'If you do the things to remember them, and you do the things that they would have loved … it goes from being an infected wound to being a healed wound, where the scar will always be there."
"WOULD HAVE BEEN A HEARTBREAKER"
Among those bereaved by the 2015 incident is 25-year-old Harsimran Jaryal. Her brother, Navdeep Singh Jaryal, was among the seven students. He was 13 then.
Asked how she would imagine him today if he were still alive, Ms Jaryal immediately said: 'He would have been a heartbreaker.'
"Maybe (he would be) someone that could have tagged along (with me) to go clubbing, have a few beers together … like a best friend,' said Ms Jaryal, a payment services analyst.
As a young teenager, 'cheeky' and charming Navdeep would take the longest - in a family of women - to get ready to leave the house.
'He has to style his hair, make sure everything is prim and proper … at any family event, he will be the first one to crack a stupid joke, get everyone laughing,' said Ms Jaryal.
Just like Sonia, Navdeep was passionate about sports and captained the school's floorball team. It was part of the reason he was picked for the Kinabalu climb.
'When he got the news (that he was selected) you could see how proud he was, how dedicated he was … going for practice sessions a few times a week,' said his sister.
When news came that Navdeep was among the missing, the family was hit especially hard, having just lost their father at the end of 2013.
'It was just a year after we lost our dad, so (there was a) feeling of, why is this happening to us?' said Ms Jaryal.
Hours turned to days, but the family still held on to hope. Navdeep and teacher Mohammad Ghazi Bin Mohamed were the last two to be found.
'I had this kind of hope that they are both somewhere safe, and maybe more time was needed to find them,' she said.
But then they were asked to provide DNA samples to verify Navdeep's identity. It led to the confirmation that the boy - as well as Ghazi - had died.
CLIMBING THE MOUNTAIN
Both Ms Jhala and Ms Jaryal have made separate trips to Mount Kinabalu in the years after, both to come to terms with the tragedy as well as to commemorate their loved ones.
Ms Jaryal made the trek in 2023, an experience which she said made her feel closer to Navdeep.
'I just wanted to walk in the same steps that he walked in, breathe the same air that he was breathing, take in whatever he was seeing … and just to complete something that he was so excited to embark on,' she said.
She prepared for the hike as Navdeep did, climbing stairs and doing practice hikes at Bukit Timah Hill.
But it still did not prepare her for the behemoth that was Mount Kinabalu.
'I kind of underestimated how hard it was going to be,' she said, looking back at her struggles as she approached the 4,095m summit.
'There were certain points I was telling myself 'I cannot, I can't do this anymore',' she said.
But she had brought with her a photo of Navdeep. At pit stops, she would look at it to remind herself of why she was doing this.
'There was a deep sense that I know I have to finish this,' she said. 'So I'll continue, painful or not; I'll continue, I'll get it done.'
When she reached the peak, she was overwhelmed.
'I don't know how to put it into words; I think for me, in a sense, it felt like I was close to my brother, like he's here with me,' she said.
'It's like a sense of healing, (that) I can kind of put this to rest, nothing is left incomplete."
For Sonia's sister Ms Jhala, her visit to Kinabalu struck a different kind of nerve.
She had accompanied survivors and other family members of victims back to the site on a commemorative hike, just a year after the incident.
'I wouldn't say it brought closure, it was a bit traumatic reliving and walking through majority of the walk that she had done,' said Ms Jhala.
While some participants like her brother and cousin managed to reach the summit, Ms Jhala and her father did not, bowing out to the arduous journey.
The harsh elements she encountered helped answer some burning questions she had over the incident.
'I had a lot of questions like why didn't she get out of the way? Why didn't she try to get herself to safety?
'It wasn't until I actually climbed that I saw there was physically no way for her to have escaped,' she said. 'It was just an extremely unfortunate series of events.'
KEEPING THEIR MEMORIES ALIVE
Like Ms Jhala, Ms Jaryal said the pain of losing her sibling was not ever going away.
'I wouldn't say it's easy (to deal with loss); I guess as time goes on, you don't really think of it as often,' she said.
But as the 10th anniversary of the incident approached, it brought back painful memories.
'The pain of what I experienced 10 years ago is still very fresh; I can still remember how I felt 10 years ago, but I think that as I grow older, I change my perception of how I see it,' she said.
Ms Jhala has taken a day off work every Jun 5, since she started working in 2017.
'That's what I've done just to grieve to support myself,' she said.
On Thursday (Jun 5), she plans to meet up with her younger brother, also based in Australia, to visit a church. They will light a candle and reminisce about Sonia.
For Ms Jhala, it is the memories that help her come to terms with the loss, as much as it's possible to do so.
'Keeping her memory alive is what has helped me and our family; we discuss her everyday,' said Ms Jhala.
On Sonia's birthday especially, the family will recall with fondness all the funny things she did and all the quirky questions she asked as a curious 12-year-old.
'Sharing memories like that, remembering memories like that help in keeping her memory alive, but also helps in healing.'