Child-free cafés would force new mums back into isolation of home

Irish Examiner

01-05-2025

Hipster coffee shops are 10 a penny these days and it must be getting harder and harder to find a unique selling point. Step forward, Birdhill's Old Barracks Coffee Roastery, with a child-free policy that's been around since the beginning, but made it into the headlines again this week.
The Old Barracks Coffee Roastery in Birdhill has caused a splash with its offering of a "child-free experience" to customers. No, that's not "your child goes free". Children aren't allowed on the premises, unless accompanying an adult getting a takeaway coffee. Dogs, incidentally, are welcome. Make of that what you will.
I have some skin in this game. I'm a mum of two, and before having my eldest child three years ago I rarely patronised cafés, usually too busy with work or, quite frankly, the pub. When I had my son, however, my local coffee shops suddenly became some of the most welcoming spaces for us and our cumbersome buggy.
I looked forward to having a little sit-down with my mocha, not to mention the opportunity to breastfeed in a more comfortable surrounding than a public loo. One thing that really struck me about cafés, when I first became a regular, was how diverse their client base was during the week. Parents (usually mums) like me, retirees, people with learning disabilities, students on their break, immigrants - cafés are a real microcosm of society.
Sipping my hot drink, away from the homogeneity of the office, I felt part of a community for the first time in my adult life.
I'm not dismissive of all child-free spaces. I wouldn't bring my toddler to a nightclub. An evening cinema screening wouldn't be the optimal environment for my eight-month-old. I don't expect to see young kids in certain public places, and I would be surprised if I did. Cafés, however, much like libraries and shopping malls, are for everyone these days.
Perhaps the Old Barracks is attempting to recreate the environment of a traditional Viennese coffee house, where customers nursed a cup for hours as they read newspapers and debated key topics of the day. The coffee in these institutions was typically cheap, incidentally – a tradition that is apparently not being honoured in this modern interpretation.
Of course, Viennese coffee shops were fairly exclusive establishments, generally the pursuit of male members of the Austrian literary set. Women weren't allowed into them until the mid-19th century, and let's face it, if 19th century women were spending their time in coffee houses, then they probably didn't have children to look after at home.
So, child-free cafés have been done before, but in a time when society preferred children to be seen and not heard. Personally, I prefer modern-day attitudes, and modern-day coffee shops.
Of course, nobody is saying that children should be banned from all cafés (not out loud, at least), but the fact that an establishment can openly declare that an entire sub-section of society is unwelcome and be met with applause by some, is concerning. The argument that children are loud and disruptive is a blanket statement that wouldn't, and shouldn't, be applied to any other group - so why are kids fair game?
I'm not saying, incidentally, that children should be allowed to run wild in public - they absolutely shouldn't, but a huge part of teaching them that they need to behave in certain ways in certain environments is exposing them to these environments. How will kids ever know how to order a latte if they've never experienced a babycino? More seriously, how will they understand how to have respect for people around them in a community setting if this behaviour isn't modelled for them by their parents in public?
There's an elephant in this coffee shop (which would probably be preferable to a child in some people's view). As I look around my local haunt, I notice something. At weekends, there are dads aplenty, enjoying a low-key family outing (we can't all afford weekly trips to soft play centres, and Ireland doesn't always have the weather for the playground!), but during the week, the vast majority of parents out with their babies and preschool children are, surprise surprise, mothers.
Margaret Donnellan: Children are people too and they belong in public spaces. For anyone arguing that they shouldn't, I would suggest that they replace "children" with any other vulnerable population and see how they feel.'
Early motherhood can be an isolating experience at the best of times - mums are finding their feet emotionally and often physically, navigating our exciting but often daunting new worlds on little sleep - with cafés, as I've mentioned, often becoming safe, familiar spaces that bridge our old lives with the new. If we're banning children, let's not forget who else we are excluding, too.
The child-free movement has become increasingly vocal in Ireland and elsewhere in recent years. It is an interesting phenomenon. Of course, anybody should have the right to not have children, that's non-negotiable. But do people have the right to avoid children in general? Of course not.
Children are people too and they belong in public spaces. For anyone arguing that they shouldn't, I would suggest that they replace "children" with any other vulnerable population and see how they feel.