'I'm out here hurting people': How MMA's brutal lifestyle became too much for Jalin Turner

Yahoo

19-03-2025

Jalin Turner stunned the MMA world when he retired earlier this month following his loss to Ignacio Bahomondes at UFC 313. A 29-year-old fan-favorite, Turner had been with the UFC since emerging through Contender Series in 2018 and was one of the younger contenders in the lightweight division.
While the retirement may have seemed like a potential knee-jerk reaction after a disappointing first-round defeat to Bahomondes, Turner doubled down on his decision Tuesday in a candid and revealing conversation on Uncrowned's "The Ariel Helwani Show." "The Tarantula" revealed his decision wasn't solely predicated on UFC 313's result, but rather the lasting effects from his previous two UFC appearances — a brutal knockout of King Green followed by a stoppage loss to Renato Moicano.
"Ultimately, it was how that fight played out," Turner said of his December 2024 finish of Green, which was criticized as a dangerously late stoppage by referee Kerry Hatley. "I got a lot of strife from the finish with [Green]. The community was like, 'Why didn't you stop? Why didn't you do this and that?'
"I'm a good guy, so that wasn't my intent to continue to hurt the guy, but that's what you got to do in the sport. You go until the ref calls you off. How it played out [after] at UFC 300 [against Moicano], I just had a little moment of clarity where I just didn't want to continue to hurt this man. I didn't want to continue to hit him [after badly hurting Moicano in the first round], and then everybody was, 'Oh, you should have did this, you shouldn't have tried to walk off.' It was UFC 300, such a big show. I think it was the biggest or one of the biggest events I was a part of, next to Conor McGregor vs. Khabib [Nurmagomedov]. I just really wanted a big redemption moment [from the Green situation]. Like, 'OK, I'm going to do this.'
"UFC was hyped for me to be on the card, and I just felt like I had so much of a letdown on myself, the people that believed in me in the promotion, and it just took a toll. It took a really big toll mentally," Turner continued. "So many things inside deteriorated in my personal life and just changed up, and there were so many crazy transitions and switches, and it was a lot. It was so much going on. Ultimately, that performance, not following up — had I won that fight, had I finished those last few punches, things would probably be a little bit different. But I'd already been getting a little bit burned out from this sport. I'd already been losing my love for it a little bit. But I was still able to go in there and do what I do."
As one of the most physically gifted lightweights in the division, the 6-foot-3 Turner garnered deserved praise and hype for his excellent finishing ability throughout his seven-year UFC run. In his 23 professional appearances, Turner never once needed the judges' scorecards to win a fight.
In his other two recent losses that preceded Moicano, Turner came up just short of victory against top contenders Dan Hooker and Mateusz Gamrot, losing debatable split decisions. So the potential was never really in doubt with Turner, and he knew it. But Turner also admitted that his career could've met an even earlier end of the road after the Moicano loss.
"Even with Hooker [in July 2023], I felt bad seeing him in the hospital," Turner said. "I was like, 'Dude, I just took time away from this man spending time with his family.' He had to get surgery. It really weighed heavy on me. It weighed a lot on me. I started to seek help, talking to a therapist for a bit. I don't know, a lot of it just started to get to me. I'm like, 'Dang, I'm out here hurting people.' I don't know why. I don't know if it was a spiritual awakening, like me coming to my faith. It just got rough. It got hard to go in there and hurt people. Then [to] go out there and do what I did with [Green] — on a more personal note, it just affected me as a person, spiritually. It goes deeper than a lot of people know.
"I would have been OK calling it a career [after UFC 300], but I felt like I was doing it more so out of fear for wanting to go back and fight. I didn't feel alright with that, and I felt like God was like, 'Go out there and fight again.' So I did, and I didn't get the performance or the result that I wanted, but I'm proud I overcame the fear. I went out there and I tried to do my job, and now I'm pretty proud of myself."
Turner acknowledged that his pivotal sequence against Moicano was an eye-opener. After nearly finishing Moicano early by knockout, Turner appeared to believe he had a walk-off finish instead of following up with big shots, which let Moicano off the hook and allowed for a second-round rally from his opponent. However, what went on inside Turner's mind was far deeper than the surface level could ever display.
"In that moment, I feel like I just had a moment of clarity," Turner said. "You get to a point when you fight when you're just on autopilot. You don't really think about anything. You're just kind of like, 'Alright, I'm here. I'm doing my job. I'm doing everything I trained to do,' and you just turn on the certain mode.
"I was in that zone, and as soon as I saw him fall, I had a moment of clarity — I didn't want to hit him. I don't know what it was. My consciousness turned on, and I don't know if it was God, I don't know who it was, what it was, I don't know what came over me, but I just did not want to keep hitting him. I don't know why."
Turner felt similarly regarding the hurt he could cause heading into his bout against Bahomondes. Fears and doubt crept in weeks out from fight night, and Turner even told his management he didn't want to fight — then the bout agreement arrived one week later, and he took it as a sign that he needed to.
Despite that, it didn't make the mental battle any easier — he felt himself losing to the fear for the first time, as he continually realized day-by-day that he didn't want to fight. The sensation grew so overwhelming that Turner became jealous of the other athletes on the card who dealt with bout cancelations in the final hours before the event.
"I go [into the T-Mobile Arena] and they're telling me Curtis [Blaydes'] fight got canceled, and somebody else's fight got canceled," he said. "Two fights got canceled. I was like, 'Dang, I want my fight to get canceled. I don't even want to go out there. This about to be crazy. Ah, man. Why'd I have to hear that right now?'
"I started trying to warm up. Get through the nerves, get through the feelings, and I was like, 'Dang, I don't want to go out there. No, I don't want to go out there.'"
Turner's retirement and the manner in which he has handled his decision over the past week displays a level of awareness not often seen from even some of the sport's all-time greatest legends. Instead of fighting beyond his prime years, Turner is arguably cutting things short before even entering said prime.
UFC 313 was only two weeks ago, meaning Turner's wounds are fresh and still healing, both physically and mentally. He's been dealing with a mixed bag of emotions and a process he's still dealing with every day.
"I just don't feel it anymore," Turner said. "I feel like my 'why' has gone. My fire has dwindled too much to perform at the level the UFC asks for and demands and where I want to be.
"This last performance, Ignacio got me in a beautiful triangle — and I had an opportunity to get out. I saw the opportunity. I saw my defense. I saw my time. I just didn't have that extra drive to fight hard enough to get out.
"I'm aware of it. I'm conscious of it. It's just hard. It's hard right now. Hard to deal with," he acknowledged.
It's too early to tell what Turner's future holds, and a return to MMA isn't impossible. Turner refuses to rule that out. He's still young enough to where a break and reset may be all that's needed. For now, though, the violence of a lifestyle devoted to professional face-punching is best left on the side.
"I feel like a weight has been lifted, but also, it's the death of my dreams," Turner said. "It's hard. I mourn it. The more it sets in, the more I think about it. It's hard. There's good days, bad days. I fight back tears talking about it, but I just think it's the right decision for now. I feel like it's really responsible of me to acknowledge what's going on.
"It's not to say that that fire won't come back. I just don't want to keep anybody waiting or anticipating a return if I ever do return, because I may never come back, you know? But I still stand by my decision. A lot of weight was lifted. I'm at peace with it. Still just grieving."