Mallya's Masterclass: 10 Ways To Avoid Blame

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a day ago

The internet lost its mind when Vijay Mallya made his first-ever appearance on YouTuber Raj Shamani's podcast, Out of Nowhere, after NINE years! The king of good times has returned, and it has people equally confused and entertained with this intriguing episode.
For those who are not aware, Vijay Mallya is an Indian businessman—owner of United Breweries (makers of Kingfisher), Kingfisher Airlines, and founder of the Royal Challengers Bangalore (IPL Cricket Team). He was a prominent figure in India's corporate and social circles.
Things took a major turn when Kingfisher Airlines collapsed due to major debt, and by 2016, Mallya was accused of defaulting on loans over ₹9000 crores — around $1.4 billion USD — borrowed from Indian banks. Authorities alleged that he siphoned off funds and committed financial fraud. However, before he could be arrested, he fled India to the UK and has ever since been in a long and ongoing legal battle for extradition.
Soooo this media appearance is certainly a surprise to Indians after this mess. And just as expected, the episode gave us a LOT of funny and entertaining moments, as Mallya tried to explain his side of the event for 4 hours — which is just him deflecting questions and trying to convince the host that he is a victim of 'false narratives' and 'misinformation' by the media.
My eyes are glued to the screen as Mallya repeatedly says that he is not a 'chor'.
This podcast, however, gave us some true gems. If you want to run away from responsibilities and admit your mistakes, here are 10 phrases to use, as said by the man, Vijay Mallya:
When your mother unfairly grounds you because you told your younger sibling that you would put makeup on them but instead doodled on their face:
Ah, yes, the victim card. If you have ever found yourself surrounded by a narrative that does not suit you, this phrase will save you from owning up to your mistakes.
When the aunties start commenting on your weight and looks:
When someone reminds you of something that you are but don't want to admit to, what do you do? You put it on perception and confuse the heck out of them with this phrase. Also, rude.
When your dad asks you where you 'wasted' your pocket money on:
The ideal response to someone pointing to your mistake is to deflect and remind them of all the good you've done. Because, according to Vijay, no matter how many (or serious) mistakes you make, good will always win over evil.
When your boss sees you partying on your Insta stories when you were off 'sick' and holds a meeting with you the next day:
It's a good phrase for when you're trying to be humble but also want some credit.
When your mother asks when you're going to clean your room for the 10th time:
The best way to fight your demons is to ignore them. And Vijay Mallya has proved the point—ignorance is bliss. Your room is dirty? Well, it is not true if you don't know about it!
When you promise your brother you will pay him back, but he doesn't trust you:
You're basically saying, 'Look at me—do I look like someone who'd be this confident and upfront if I were actually guilty?' When someone doesn't trust you, this phrase works like a charm.
When your friend says that you owe them money, but that was the drunk you:
It was not him borrowing loans; it was his company. So why is he facing all the scrutiny himself? The next time someone is blaming you for not paying them back, channel your inner Mallya and say, "Hey, that was not the real me who borrowed money; it was the drunk me."
When you 'borrow' your sister's favorite dress despite her saying no, and end up dropping ketchup on it:
Translation: 'Yes, things went south. But I was the good guy. I even asked nicely. If anyone's the villain here, it's not me—it's the court.'This works best when you are getting grilled for a project falling apart. All you have to say is "I tried my best."
When you sent your younger brother to buy you chips in the crippling heat and your mum confronts you about it:
The perfect trick in the bag to make one doubt themselves is to flip the script.Just question their question. Watch them spiral.
When your mother is yelling at you for reaching home late, but your Uber took ages to book:
It's shouting — 'just give me a break!'It's a perfect excuse when you are heavily cornered and know there is no escape. And so, you turn it around back on them and make them look like the unreasonable person.
This was Vijay Mallya's masterclass of excuses to avoid accountability — and it sure was enlightening! The episode was long but very entertaining. His lines are worthy of a good Bollywood script!