Column: Big Rock couple still in step after 70 years of marriage
It was a passion for dancing that brought Herbert and Alvena Ruh together so very many years ago.
But it is love for one another that has kept this Big Rock couple in each other's arms after more than 70 years of marriage. And, as far as I'm concerned, that makes them Valentine's Day experts.
That's why I found myself this week interviewing the delightful pair, both 92, who met on a blind date at the Blue Moon dance hall in Elgin back in 1952 and have been tripping the light fantastic ever since.
'I was looking for a dance partner,' recalled Herb as we sat in the living room of their large white farm house on Swan Road. 'And she liked to dance.'
Which is just what the young Aurora woman and Batavia man did every weekend – from the two-step to the polka to the waltz – for pretty much the rest of their lives. In fact, youngest son Steve Ruh recalls how 'I never saw them on Saturday nights. I always had a babysitter. They were always at dances.'
If not the Blue Moon, then some other venue that offered live music. Like the Moose Lodge. Or VFW. Or a Fireman's Ball. Or a church social.
It takes more than dance to make a team, however. Hard work, they both agree, is a critical component, not just in maintaining a strong relationship, but in life, overall.
'We had no time to get into trouble, we were always so busy,' insisted Herb, who was born and raised in Chicago, yet always wanted to be a farmer like his maternal grandfather, more so after his parents moved to Batavia when he graduated from Chicago Vocational High School.
So Herb became a farmhand – before and after a stint in the U.S. Army. He and Alvena were apart for about a year when he was stationed at Fort Leonard Wood in Missouri. But they made it official at their St. Nicholas Catholic Church wedding in Aurora on Oct. 16, 1954.
Herb continued to learn his trade as a tenant farmer on several different properties in Kane County. Alvena followed his lead reluctantly, because she knew how tough this life could be. Her parents were Nebraska farmers who eventually gave up their drought-riddled land in the Dirty Thirties and moved to the Chicago suburbs.
'I did not want to be a farmer's wife,' stated Alvena who, after graduating from Nazareth Academy in LaGrange Park, took a job with Barber-Greene Company and moved to Aurora. 'But Herb didn't want to do anything else.'
Marriage, they both know, requires sacrifice on both parts. And so, she threw herself enthusiastically into the role, especially after 1968 when the Ruhs bought a 220-acre farm in Big Rock, complete with the house they continue to call home today.
In addition to growing corn, soybeans, wheat and hay, Herb milked cows, raised pigs and fed cattle. The farm also had saddle horses, a team of Belgian draft horses that helped haul manure and feed, and plenty of chickens that supplied eggs for those big breakfasts every morning (followed by even larger dinners at noon and suppers in the evenings).
Alvena was always a great cook, according to her sons and husband. She was also a prolific baker, gardener and chauffeur for their four boys and one daughter. And she is mighty proud of her honorary title as 'sanitation engineer' for that nasty task of keeping those milk machines clean every day.
The Ruh marriage was old-fashioned as the polkas they taught to their children. Alvena took care of hearth and home, while Herb was in charge of supervising all five kids outdoors.
'We all learned the true value of hard work,' said oldest son Russ Ruh, who owns DeKane Equipment in Big Rock. 'That has carried on from them to our professional lives now.'
His youngest brother agreed. 'Even with sports, chores always had to be done. We ate fantastic food all the time and we never had any holes in our socks,' Steve replied quickly when asked to summarize his parents' teamwork.
'They stayed out of each other's hair until evening. And by then they were too tired to argue.'
Still, when the weekend came, it was time to put on those dancing shoes. Remarkably, husband and wife enjoyed doing so until last year, when Herb had a stroke that made it difficult for him to walk.
Nevertheless, farming and dance remain an important part of their lives.
The Ruh homestead has continued to grow, with their youngest son taking over for his dad, who did not retire until age 80. And while Steve's 15-year-old son Sullivan may not have inherited his father's or grandfather's love of the land, he certainly picked up that dancing bug.
After outgrowing local studios with his talents, the high school freshman is studying at Central Pennsylvania Youth Ballet Academy, with eyes set squarely on a stage career.
Herb and Alvena, who both inherited their own parents' love of dance, were thrilled to watch Sullivan perform in 'The Nutcracker' last year at North Central College.
'We are just so proud,' said Alvena, referring not only to the young ballet dancer but to all 19 grandchildren and great- grandchildren.
As the Ruhs sat in their living room, surrounded by walls filled with dozens of framed family photos – including baby portraits of the couple's five children – it's apparent farming and dance, while important, are not the bedrock of their long and happy marriage.
'We have been so very blessed with a large, close-knit family and friends,' said Alvena. 'We wouldn't trade it for anything in the world.'
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