Being parents doesn't make people happier, but it adds meaning to their life

The Star

3 days ago

Being a parent doesn't always make you happier, especially over the long term. Photo: AFP
Parenthood is frequently perceived as an essential step towards personal fulfilment. Yet behind this tenacious myth lies a more nuanced reality.
Having children doesn't necessarily make you happier, but it may well make life more meaningful, according to a major European study published in the Journal Of Marriage And Family .
Conducted by sociologist Dr Ansgar Hudde and Professor Marita Jacob, both researchers at the University of Cologne, this sociological survey is based on the responses of over 43,000 Europeans from 30 countries, questioned as part of the European Social Survey.
Their aim was to identify the effects of parenthood on the two pillars of well-being: life satisfaction and the feeling of leading a meaningful life.
They found that being a parent doesn't systematically make people happier, especially over the long term.
On the other hand, it does profoundly alter people's perception of their own existence. 'Previous debates about parenthood have focused too much on happiness and satisfaction,'
Hudde explains in a news release. 'Our study shows that people who have children are not automatically happier, but they are more likely to feel that their own lives are meaningful and valuable.'
However, the relationship between parenthood and life satisfaction varies in relation to social circumstances. Mothers from modest backgrounds have a lower level of life satisfaction than women from equivalent socio-economic backgrounds without children.
A sense of meaning
On the other hand, this difference is much less pronounced among women from wealthier backgrounds.
And for men, the parental factor seems to carry little weight in life satisfaction, regardless of social background.
But when it comes to finding meaning in life, the boundaries blur.
Whether men or women, rich or poor, parents are more likely to say that their existence has value.
This sense of meaning transcends borders and social circumstances.
And under certain conditions, happiness and meaning can go hand in hand. This is typically the case in the Nordic countries, where family policies and institutional support enable parents to reconcile personal fulfilment and parenthood.
'The results show that good societal conditions can make both things possible: meaning and satisfaction,' stresses Hudde.
Indeed, the researcher recalls that Germany, at the turn of the 2010s, had initiated a shift towards a Scandinavian model in terms of family policy.
But this momentum ran out of steam. Today, the researchers are calling for a rethink of family support policies, reducing time pressure and improving financial aid.
Among the major findings of the study, the researchers report that the birth of a first child triggers a peak in satisfaction... which is short-lived.
On the other hand, the feeling of having a meaningful life takes hold for good.
It's a reminder that, while parenthood doesn't guarantee happiness, it can offer a sense of direction, a reason for being that can help us withstand the ups and downs of everyday life. – AFP Relaxnews