First Dates bartender Merlin Griffiths shares behind the scenes secret to falling in love

Yahoo

10-02-2025

Falling in love on Channel 4's First Dates is possible and one of its big successes is not running it like a reality show, according to bartender Merlin Griffiths.
As the Valentine's Day special airs on Monday night, the bartender told Yahoo: "[First Dates has had] babies, marriages, engagements... At Christmas, you saw someone coming back with their babies and with their houses bought together as well. Can you find true love on First Dates? Of course you can. We're made for that, that's what we do!"
The show, which also stars Fred Sirieix as the restaurant's maître d, has enjoyed a run of real life success. First Dates had their very first baby from Bristolian couple Ibiba and Aaron. They met on First Dates in 2016 and they welcomed a child together the following year in 2017. Also among First Dates' biggest success stories are Fran and Will who tied the knot in 2021, five years after meeting on the show.
Filming for the news series of the show took place at The Botanist, Bath, which Griffiths said perfectly sets the stage for falling in love. The bartender explained the crucial difference between finding love on First Dates and other dating reality shows, like Love Island or Married At First Sight UK.
Unlike other scripted formats, the TV star said First Dates is a more "normal" environment because a restaurant is a traditional first date setting.
"Because we don't run it like reality TV, it's not," he said. "What we're doing, Fred [Sirieix] and I, and Cici [Coleman], we're born and bred hospitality professionals, right? This is what we've done with our lives. Fred and I especially!
"We've dedicated decades to doing this. So for us, this is running a romantic restaurant. And having a meal together as a first date is a very traditional enterprise, I feel.
"So what better setting than to choose a restaurant to find love. That's why it works, and that's why it will continue to work. It's normal, but at the same time very special, so it's not reality TV. You don't notice any of that stuff going on. From the moment Fred says hello, and from the moment I serve you a drink, that's it. You're in a restaurant. It's all normal."
This year marks 12 years since production started on First Dates but it has celebrated 10 years on-screen, with Fred Sirieix as the charming host. "As long as we open those doors and see some beautiful people, I'm happy," Griffiths said.
Like all television shows, there are a few behind the scenes secrets. As the bartender, Griffiths has the insider scoop on what really goes on.
While First Dates is run like a restaurant, the drinks connoisseur revealed there is one major change that the staff have to make to bring it to our television screens. A TV set is a busy and fast-moving environment but Griffiths explained they have to slow the pace of the restaurant down to allow "love to happen" and for those special conversations to develop.
He said: "There is only one simple thing I have to change. You slow things down because you've got to take time for love to happen. You've got to allow space for these important conversations and moments to happen between people, right?
"And if you're running this as you run strict hospitality in a busy restaurant, sometimes there isn't time, right? So that's the only that simply is the only change between regular hospitality and what we do in First Dates.
"It's a much calmer, slower pace of service, and it's nice for that. It allows space for relationships to happen. Seriously, if you can see like you know CiCi can see from this. Fred can see from a distance, right, if somebody's getting on like a house on fire, that might not be the best time to drop a wine list."
As well as slowing the pace down in the restaurant, Griffiths said host Sirieix will step in to help sparks fly on the dates. "Interfere is exactly the right word," he said. "I'm lodged behind the bar, I get out on the floor a little bit but on the whole, not so much but Fred's really, really good at that [interfering to help out]."
He added: "I spot this 'cause you keep your eyes on your colleagues so you know what is happening. You need to know where people are and what they're doing. And I see Fred do this and he's remarkably talented at spotting.
"There might be moments of awkward silence or stuff where just you're not picking up the right vibe from the table and he's straight in there like a shot, just to tickle them a bit, cajole them a bit, maybe give them a new subject of conversation, something like that, that's a good make he should, he's an arbiter of the atmosphere that you have. It's a really important role to have."
The Valentines episode TX's on Monday 10 February at 10pm on Channel 4.