Ellie Simmonds' birth mum breaks down in tears as she explains why she gave her up
Former Paralympian swimming champion Ellie Simmonds has a heart-to-heart with her birth mum in an emotional episode of an ITV documentary, where she is seen breaking down in tears
Ellie Simmonds' biological mother has revealed the heartbreaking reason for giving her up in a candid phone conversation, confessing: "All I could see is your disability". In a poignant moment set to be broadcast in an ITV documentary on Tuesday, the ex-Paralympic swimmer bravely contacts her birth mother, leading to a deeply moving exchange.
At just ten days old, Ellie, now 30, was put up for adoption by her birth mother after discovering that Ellie had achondroplasia, a genetic condition causing dwarfism. Ellie recounts how her birth mother was bluntly given a leaflet by a medical professional, which suggested that children with her condition were often thought to have lower intelligence and typically ended up working in circuses.
The pair re-established contact two years prior while Ellie was working on the documentary Finding My Secret Family, but until this point, Ellie hadn't felt prepared to discuss her adoption with her. Now, as she delves into the societal perceptions of parenting children with disabilities in her new personal documentary, Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children?, she also contemplates her own potential motherhood, reports the Mirror.
Gathering the strength to make the call, Ellie said: "I want to know what it was like for her to decide to put me up for adoption. For her it was 30 years ago, but it's quite a sensitive, super emotional situation."
Her birth mother, whose identity is kept confidential on screen, responds: "It's really quite traumatic. It's hard for you to hear. I don't want to in any way upset you. You're making a decision at the wrong time of your life, because you've just given birth, your hormones are all over the place. You're physically not right, you're mentally not right.
"There was a lot in the background going on. I kept the pregnancy a secret, I gave birth on my own. I went to a geneticist and she was very abrupt. She said, 'There you go, that's what your baby is going to look like'. I remember thinking 'I can't cope with this'. Maybe I wanted a magic wand."
The conversation deepens as she admits: "All I could see was your disability. You can make excuses, but I really did struggle. I grieved the child that I thought you should have been. It was the biggest decision of my life. To give your biological child away... it was momentous. I just handed you over and that's something you really can never get over. The guilt is horrendous. You live with it all the time."
With emotion, she adds: "I didn't ever forget you. I thought about you every day. When I saw you at the Beijing Paralympics, I thought 'That's my Ellie'. I've been a number one fan. I've watched everything you've done, I'm extremely proud. It's an amazing thing to have a child, there's no love like it. Forward 30 years and I realise what a fabulous woman you are. It's just that you were a bit shorter. You're a completely perfect person in every way."
Ellie is visibly distressed and mostly silent, shedding tears as she takes in her birth mother's words. Eventually, Ellie responds with: "We don't want to blame anyone, decisions are decisions. You're amazing", eliciting the reply from her mother: "I don't know Ellie, I think sometimes it was quite cowardly to be honest."
Reflecting on the conversation later, Ellie muses: "It seems that she held that guilt for a long time. That's really sad. We put a lot of pressure on the mum in society. It's amazing that she's so honest and open. I think people's fear of a disability is actually a fear of what's inside of them."
In her documentary, Ellie engages with medical professionals, genetic experts, and frontline counsellors, and also converses with parents who have grappled with difficult choices upon learning their unborn child may have a disability, pondering what her own actions would be.
Ellie said: "Being a 30-year-old woman, this is the time people think about starting a family. It's different because I'm living with a disability so I know what it's like to be a disabled person. If you find out you've got a disabled baby, do people think they can't actually cope with it?
"Are they nervous? Do they want a picture perfect baby?"
Ellie engages with families in a support group in south London, each sharing the revelation of expecting a child diagnosed with achondroplasia. Rosie and Lloyd, who were informed of their son Arlo's dwarfism at the 28-week scan, navigate this emotional journey. Rosie said: "I didn't know what dwarfism was. It was one of the hardest times of my life, I was so scared. As soon as he was Earth-side it was totally eradicated."
During her interactions, Ellie meets Levi and Lewis, a couple raising their firstborn Kaylen alongside his grandma Bev. They made the agonising choice to end a subsequent pregnancy after learning the baby suffered from DiGeorge syndrome, which leads to heart defects – a mild condition in Kaylen but far more severe in the unborn child.
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Ellie also meets Megan and David, whose infant Cerys is diagnosed with Down's syndrome. While handling the prenatal diagnosis, David admits, "When we found out, it was tough. The idea of anyone bullying my child or making fun of them because of their chromosomes - that kills me."
Then, celebrating Cerys's arrival, David adds: "Now we have the lived experience, we get all the joy and wonder of a child with Down's Syndrome."
During the film, Ellie also makes the shocking discovery that if she became pregnant with a partner who also has dwarfism, there would be a one in four chance of the child having a 'double dose', meaning the baby would be unlikely to survive. Ellie says: "No parent should have to go through that. While I'm not at the stage of wanting a baby just yet, it's something I will have to consider."
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