The Brooklyn, Swords review: One star for the worst chicken burger I've ever tasted
The Brooklyn
Address
:
The Plaza, Malahide Road, Townparks, Swords, Co Dublin, K67 WV44
Telephone
:
01 840 6760
Cuisine
:
Modern International
Website
:
Cost
:
€€
Walk into The Brooklyn and the vibe hits immediately – all thump, gloss and security detail. Three suited bouncers check bookings – because nothing says 'gastro bar' like nightclub security at 6.15pm on a Friday evening.
This is the latest dinner booking we can get at the new 160-seater in
Swords
, Co
Dublin
, and the place is already operating at full volume.
It's a €2.5 million fit-out by O'Donnell + O'Neill – known for polished interiors such as The Leinster and Sophie's Rooftop Restaurant at
The Dean
, both in Dublin. This one aims for Brooklyn chic but lands somewhere between cocktail lounge and influencer backdrop: pineapple lamps, considered mismatched furnishings, salvaged brick and reclaimed timber. Dramatically lit big-brand bottles – Beefeater, Bombay – perch on glass shelves aiming for niche and premium but not quite hitting the note.
Michael Wright and his sons, Brook and Mikey, say they're here to break norms and push boundaries. The result is an all-day menu in what they call a premium casual style, letting the ingredients speak for themselves.
READ MORE
There's nothing wrong with a one-pager offering burgers, wings, steaks and pasta – plenty of places do it, and people love it. But it has to be good. It has to be confident.
The prawn tempura (€14) suggests otherwise. The wild Argentinian prawns come sealed in batter so thick and joyless 'tempura' feels like a typo.
The calamari (€12) fares a little better: evenly cut, criss-crossed squid coated in golden panko. The pieces are
just a little too precise to feel handcrafted, and the dipping sauce doesn't do much to elevate things.
Inside The Brooklyn in Swords, Co Dublin. Photograph: Alan Betson
The Brooklyn has an all-day menu in what it calls a premium casual style. Photograph: Alan Betson
The menu promises cocktails and a 'curated' wine list. Stick to the more affordable classics – my Margarita (€12) is fresh and zingy, but the signatures run from €14 to €16. The Paul Mas Chardonnay (€8.50) is the best of a deeply unambitious glass selection, which veers into supermarket territory with Pinot Grigio, Sauvignon Blanc and Rioja.
The fish and chips (€19) arrives with all the self-righteous fanfare the menu can muster – 'sustainably caught haddock, hand-cut fries, crushed sweet peas, tartar sauce' – as if this is some major flex. No points for highlighting a supplier using nets with larger mesh sizes while serving farmed sea bass and salmon.
Pan fried sea bass at The Brooklyn. Photograph: Alan Betson
The Brooklyn. Photograph: Jimmy Hawkshaw
The Brooklyn. Photograph: Jimmy Hawkshaw
And the poor fish. It lands in a slab of batter so thick and tough I consider asking for a serrated knife to get through it. The fish has spent way too much time in the heat, like it has been batch-cooked and revived to order. And the weird thing is, there's barely any flesh – it's mostly batter. It is, without a doubt, the worst battered fish I've ever had. Anywhere. Ever.
The Korean chicken burger (€19) faces a similar fate, encased in a wodge of thick, hard, batter. How so much of it clings to the scrap of dried-out chicken is the real mystery. There's barely any flavour, certainly no real taste of kimchi.
Compare and contrast with the glorious burgers at Korean fried chicken specialist,
Chimac
– crisp, juicy, and alive with heat – and try not to laugh. It's the worst chicken burger I've ever had – it is gasp-inducingly poor.
Both mains come with hand-cut fries which are uniformly skinny – someone in the kitchen is hand-cutting with machine-like precision. One bowl is hot, the other cold. We're despairing.
We share the sticky toffee pudding (€8). It's fine. The sponge is soft. The sauce is not overly confected. There is ice cream. It is the one dish that arrives as expected and tastes as described.
If everything had been at the level of the pudding, we'd have left with fewer complaints.
Not compliments – just fewer complaints.
But this isn't a bad night at a good place. This is exactly how it's meant to be: calculated, commercial, and built to a brief. A concept, not a kitchen. A venue, not a restaurant.
This is €2.5 million spent proving that money buys lighting, velvet banquettes, and nice mirrors. But not food. Not flavour. Not even a whiff of interest.
It's a revenue stream with a menu.
And they called it The Brooklyn. Why? Because 'The Swords' wouldn't sell a €19 chicken burger like this one and get away with it.
Dinner for two with three drinks was €99.
The Verdict:
Gasp-inducingly poor.
Food provenance:
Haddock from Kilmore Quay, wild Argentinian prawns, Greek farmed sea bass, Scottish farmed salmon, duck from Musgraves, Manor Farm free-range chicken, O'Mahony's pork, John Stone beef, and Keelings.
Vegetarian options:
Caesar salad, soups, flatbreads, bruschetta, spaghetti aglio e olio, halloumi burger, and grilled cauliflower steak.
Wheelchair access:
Fully accessible with an accessible toilet.
Music:
Disco and soul.
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