Taking your mom out to eat on Mother's Day? Servers remind customers to 'be kind,' tip

USA Today

10-05-2025

Taking your mom out to eat on Mother's Day? Servers remind customers to 'be kind,' tip
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For many, Mother's Day is a heartfelt celebration of the matriarchs in people's families. Meanwhile, for restaurant servers, it's one of the busiest and most chaotic days of the year.
Of the $34.1 billion Americans are projected to spend on gifts this year, about $6.3 billion will be spent on "special outings," such as brunch or dinner, according to a joint survey conducted by the National Retail Federation and Prosper Insights & Analytics on Mother's Day spending.
From staff shortages, hangry guests, and messy children to excess takeout orders and customers fibbing about reservations, Mother's Day has been called the most dreaded shift to work, and even likened to hell for servers and other restaurant staff.
"Every server knows that working on Mother's Day is hell. In fact, if I die and go to hell, I completely expect it to be Mother's Day. 365 days a year," wrote Darron Cardosa, in the 2016 book "The Bitchy Waiter: Tales, Tips & Trials from a Life in Food Service."
The abhorrence of working on Mother's Day is why former and current servers hop on social media annually to send "positive vibes" and prayers to those on the front lines. They also remind prospective customers to be kind and tip wait staff generously.
"I have mixed feelings about working on Mother's Day," Asia Huynh, a server at Taiwanese restaurant Din Tai Fung, told USA TODAY on May 8. "It's nice to be able to provide a service and good time for families who choose to celebrate with us. It's also a great way to make just a bit more money than a normal day."
Why do servers hate working on Mother's Day?
Cardosa, who has more than 30 years of restaurant experience, told USA TODAY on May 9 that what servers dislike most about Mother's Day is that there's always a "full house."
"It's usually like a family with lots of kids," Cardosa said. "The check averages are down because kids are ordering less expensive items than parents or adults, so it's a lot of extra work, but the check averages are lower. If people are tipping 15 or 20% of the check, you're not making as much money for as hard as you're working."
Additionally, servers are likely engaging with customers who do not go out to eat often, so they're doing "a lot more leg work" to ensure they're taken care of during dinner, according to Cardosa.
The reason why Mother's Day is seemingly the busiest day in the restaurant business is because "moms and women are expected to take care of everything when it comes to food," Cardosa said.
"That's just the antiquated way so many people think," she added.
Ahead of Mother's Day dinners, people often invite and take their grandmothers, grandfathers and whoever else wants to come. Cardosa said customers should recognize that the restaurant they choose to go to is "going to be a lot busier than it probably normally is."
"When customers go out on Mother's Day, I always want them to have some kind of understanding that patience is needed," Cardosa said. "The servers are working really hard (and) the kitchen is working even harder. Customers just need to accept that things might take a little bit longer than they normally would on a Sunday."
Although servers are justified in complaining about how busy the day is, they also need to keep in mind that they can "make bank," according to Cardosa.
"Even though we're complaining about how crazy Mother's Day is and how much servers hate it," she said. "Truthfully, they appreciate it because they're going to make a lot more money on that Sunday than they would have, you know, the Sunday before or the next Sunday after."
Servers share the highs and lows of working on Mother's Day
Huynh agrees, to a certain extent, that Mother's Day is the most stressful day of the year. The stressful part isn't the demand itself, since Din Tai Fung is a restaurant with very long wait times on weekends, including on holidays. The side effects of the day are what cause angst.
"It's dealing with the hangry guests, the staff shortage (because who doesn't want to celebrate with their own mother too?), the overload of takeout orders which inevitably slows down dine in table service, which also leads to slightly upset guests leaving less than adequate tips for their servers," Huynh said.
Huynh, who's worked in the restaurant industry for five years, said even with management having a backup plan to deal with the rush, there is only "so much the staff who did come in can do."
Sweet treat alert: 'Minis for Mom' doughnut line offered by Krispy Kreme for Mother's Day
Stephanie Dorn, a former waitress at Mexican seafood restaurant, La Calle Doce, on the other hand, remembered her first Mother's Day shift a little differently.
"It was probably the coolest day I ever got to work at that restaurant in my short time there because it was festive," Dorn told USA TODAY on May 8. "Everybody's all dressed up. It's all about the moms. I'm a mom. That kind of sucked."
Dorn, a full-time food critic and content creator, even got to spend a little time with her kids because her mom and brother brought them by the restaurant that day.
"It was really cool working in the restaurant," she said. "Everybody was excited because typically you make pretty good tips that day, at least, that's what I was told. But it also was just incredibly physically grueling."