Heartbreaking moment Strictly star Ellie Simmons' birth mother reveals why she gave her up
PARALYMPIAN and Strictly star Ellie Simmonds' mum reveals why she gave her up for adoption in an emotional new documentary.
The athlete, 28, was put into care at two weeks old after being diagnosed with dwarfism, which cruel medics at the time said would lead to ridicule.
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She was then adopted by West Midlands couple Val and Steve Simmonds when she was three months old.
Ellie explored her childhood in 2003 documentary, Finding My Secret Family, and has now filmed a follow-up in which her biological mother speaks on camera for the first time.
It comes as Ellie considers the impacts of starting her own family in Ellie Simmonds: Should I Have Children?
Her mum revisits her own birthing experience and those early days of motherhood in the mid 90s.
She remains off camera but is heard saying: "It's really quite traumatic. It's hard for you to hear. I don't want to in any way upset you.
"You're making a decision at the wrong time of your life, because you've just given birth, your hormones are all over the place. You're physically not right, you're mentally not right.
"There was a lot in the background going on. I kept the pregnancy a secret, I gave birth on my own. I went to a geneticist and she was very abrupt."
Her mum candidly explained that she couldn't cope and wanted a magic wand to resolve the situation.
She struggled to look beyond Ellie's disability and said she "grieved" for the child she wanted her to be.
"To give your biological child away… it was momentous," she explained. "I just handed you over and that's something you really can never get over. The guilt is horrendous. You live with it all the time."
I couldn't keep up with the kids at school, now I'm an inspiring Paralympian – it's pinch-me moment, says Ellie Simmonds
Ellie met her birth mum for the first time at the end of her 2023 documentary.
The reunion came after Ellie read an old letter handwritten by her mum in which she said she wished she'd had an abortion or that Ellie had died.
With a social worker acting as an intermediary, Ellie wrote to her mum explaining she wasn't angry and that she wanted to get to know her.
She sobbed as she read her mum's reply in which she said she had suffered with "guilt and self-hatred".
Her mum also said that she had suffered a traumatic split from Ellie's birth father which seriously impacted her mental health.
After the meeting, Ellie said: "It was amazing. We spoke about everything over the last five hours. We've got the same sense of humour we were laughing so much.
"I felt like her face was just like me. What touched my heart was that she thinks about me everyday and she always sees me as a daughter."
Nervous Ellie told how she chose not to show her mum on screen due to fears over how she would be perceived.
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Despite tearful moments in both documentaries, Ellie maintains she has had an 'amazing life' and has never felt anger towards her biological mum.
She previously told us: 'I wouldn't be who I am today if my birth mother hadn't made that decision.
"I could be someone so different and not have had such a positive life, being around people with different disabilities and going to the Paralympics and having all the opportunities my parents gave me.'
Val and Steve Simmonds adopted four other children, some of which also had disabilities.
The family home had an outdoor pool, which energetic Ellie loved. She said: 'I had a great childhood. We're a very close family.'
Her parents were open about her biological family, showing pictures of her mum, dad and older sister. Ellie would fantasise about what they were like, 'a bit like Tracy Beaker'.
At 11, Ellie moved with Val to Swansea to train with Team GB. Two years later she became the youngest British athlete at the 2008 Beijing Paralympics, winning two golds.
But a busy career meant she never hunted for her birth family.
Ellie said: 'When I was younger I thought about my birth mum a lot.
'But from 2006, when I competed in my first World Championships, to when I retired, I never wanted to delve into that because I needed to be focused.
'When I retired, though, I lost my identity and was thinking, 'What should I do now? Who am I as a person?' I realised I now had time to find out who I am.'
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