Lions tours need needle, not niceties: Bring on the Aussie baiting

Telegraph

10 hours ago

The stadium announcer at the Optus Stadium did such a good job of pointing out some of the Lions' players alternate nationalities that one can only hope he receives the same gig for the Test series.
'And now introducing your 100 per cent pure-bred Wallabies. On the wing, there is Wimbledon-born but now magically Australian, Harry Potter. Introducing our centre, its Samoan-born, New Zealand-raised, capped by the Samoan Under-20s, Hunter Paisami. At fly-half there is another Kiwi in Noah Lolesio. Starting in the second row, it's another one born in New Zealand, of Samoan descent, who has spent most of his life in Europe, it's our big fella Will Skelton … and at prop, it's the Tongan Thor now an Aussie by residency, Taniela Tupou.'
You see, that dual nationality thing cuts both ways and David Campese's description of the tourists as the 'British and Irish and Pacific Island Lions' applies far more to the Wallabies than it does to Andy Farrell's squad. Indeed, Australia's resident rent-a-quote might want to look at who instituted the project player system in Ireland which brought in players such as Bundee Aki, James Lowe and Jamison Gibson-Park, a certain J Schmidt. Really, the only countries who can legitimately mount a high horse about foreign-born players are from South America. Nearly everywhere else, the lines of what can be considered 'native', as Willie John McBride crudely termed it, have been blurred by the modern trends of global migration.
People of multicultural backgrounds do not always fit into neat pigeonholes. Does Marcus Smith not have the right to represent the Lions because he was born in Manila to an English father and Filipina mother? Or if he does then surely Mack Hansen, who has an Australian father and Irish mother, must also qualify? If not, then where do you draw the line? Passport? Schooling? Accent? These are decisions that go far beyond Farrell's remit as Lions head coach and if you speak to the wonderfully entertaining Pierre Schoeman, or the engaging Sione Tuipulotu, you will be absolutely convinced of their legitimate passion to represent the Lions.
Nor is this a particularly new development. Go back a century and you will find Tom Richards and Blair Swannell having represented both the Lions and Australia. Both war heroes are now honoured with man-of-the-match medals during this tour.
Still, the subject of the Lions' mixed nationalities was low-hanging fruit that the stadium announcer in Perth was absolutely entitled to go for, likely a juicy full toss pitched up across the bridge at the Waca. Tuipulotu took no grave offence and almost seemed hurt that the Aussie sledging was not of a higher standard.
This is standard fare for a Lions tour. Four years ago, Springboks boss Rassie Erasmus injected a poison into the series with his character assassination of referee Nic Berry that turned the tour toxic. Understandably, Farrell and Schmidt want to avoid a similar scenario and have resolved to be the picture of politeness towards one an other's sides, with Schmidt already rowing back on his own 'southern hemisphere centre partnership' comment about Tuipulotu and Aki.
'I'm conscious of (making provocative comments), and I'm conscious that other coaches do it, but I don't anticipate it happening in this Lions tour,' Schmidt told the Sydney Morning Herald last week. 'Faz and I have had a few conversations about how we'd like the narrative of the tour to be a celebration of rugby. I think for Australian rugby, we need that.'
Balls to that. Lions tours need needle rather than niceties. The rancour is almost as famous as the rugby, from the '99' call in 1974 to 1989's Battle of Ballymore or the 2005 spear tackle of Brian O'Driscoll. The insults from Austin Healey's fateful description of Justin Harrison as a 'plank' or Warren Gatland getting the clown treatment in 2017 are as iconic as many of the tries from those series.
Not everyone will have enjoyed Henry Pollock's in-your-face-celebrations following Elliot Daly's first try which prompted a minor kerfuffle, but Farrell will be delighted by the fact that the first person who rushed to his defence was Joe McCarthy. The distinctly non-glitzy McCarthy could not seem further removed from the Northampton flanker's personality, but this is precisely how bonds are formed on a Lions tour.
Undoubtedly when Force flanker Nick Champion de Crespigny reports back to Wallabies camp, the target on Pollock's back will have grown further, one of about a dozen intriguing individual subplots going into this series. A rematch of Ellis Genge v Tupou from the 2022 England tour has pay-per-view potential. So too the super-heavyweight match-up between Skelton and McCarthy, while Carlo Tizzano has definitely kept the receipt of his last meeting with Tom Curry. This is all before we get to the even more fascinating master v apprentice coaching battle between Schmidt and Farrell.
So bring on the sledging and the s---housery, the Lions are more than ready to deal with better barbs than what was thrown Tuipulotu's way.
Lions laugh off nationalities jibes
Lions centre Tuipulotu laughed off Western Force's jibes about being born Down Under, declaring the Australians need to up their sledging game.
Before the Lions' first game on Australian soil, the stadium announcer at the Optus Stadium singled out the tourists' foreign-born players, including Tuipulotu, for particular attention when reading out the team sheet.
'Our former Aussie at No 14, Mack Hansen
'Another Aussie at No 12, Sione Tuipulotu
'At No 11, it's the Kiwi now Irishman, James Lowe.
'At prop, the former SA schoolboy now Scotsman, Pierre Schoeman.'
The Lions were apparently unaware of these jibes being made in real time, but when the comments were relayed to Tuipulotu, who was born in Melbourne but qualifies for Scotland on account of his grandmother, he seemed genuinely amused rather than hurt.
'I knew there would be some 'good humour' coming back home to Australia,' Tuipulotu said. 'These are all things we've got to take in our stride. To not announce the elephant in the room, I am from Australia. I was born here. I don't know how funny that gag is to everyone!
'I'm loving my rugby playing for the Lions and I'm really passionate about it. Andy's brought the group together so well and to play under a coach like him, I can see why Ireland have been so successful in the past because I feel like the way he's bringing this group together, we're headed in the right direction.'
Tuipulotu is the only player to have delivered back-to-back 80-minute games and looked far more comfortable playing alongside Garry Ringrose at his preferred inside-centre slot. 'I love it, I'm starting to get my feet back underneath me,' Tuipulotu said. 'Obviously I haven't played Test rugby since the autumn so I'm getting my feet back underneath me. I still feel like I've got massive growth during this tour, but I'm getting my feet back underneath me and I know I can start playing my best rugby towards the big games at the end of this tour.
'Yeah, I loved (playing with Ringrose). Geez mate, he's a missile out there, isn't he? He backs himself to make those reads and geez, he left a few sore bodies out there including himself. What a player and I really enjoyed playing with him and I also enjoyed when Shaggy came off the bench and got some valuable minutes after being out for a while now. We're linking quite nicely and we've just got to keep building towards the Test.'