How coping with 'heartbreak' changed everything for McIlroy

BBC News

14-04-2025

Here we go again. That inescapable feeling engulfed Rory McIlroy's fans during a Masters Sunday they wanted to watch through their fingers at certain points.A nightmare start saw the nervous 35-year-old from Northern Ireland overhauled by nearest rival Bryson DeChambeau at the top of the leaderboard in a three-shot swing in the opening two holes.Then, after recovering to retake a three-shot lead with six holes left, McIlroy threatened to blow his chance yet again.Those willing him to win wondered if he was fumbling another golden chance to finally land the prize which had long eluded him.The rollercoaster nature of his play-off triumph was essentially a microcosm of a career which has provided exhilarating highs and devastating lows.What his supporters had forgotten - understandably given the scar tissue they also had developed from his myriad near misses - was a very different McIlroy had emerged at Augusta National this week.A mature McIlroy. A calmer McIlroy. A patient McIlroy.Most importantly, perhaps, a McIlroy who has learned how to love himself again on the course after having his heart bitterly broken by the sport he adores.
'Rory found out how unbelievably tough he is'
"At a certain point in life, someone doesn't want to fall in love because they don't want to get their heart broken," the world number two said in an illuminating pre-tournament news conference on Tuesday."Instinctually as human beings we hold back sometimes because of the fear of getting hurt, whether that's a conscious decision or subconscious decision."I think once you go through that, once you go through those heartbreaks - as I call them - you get to a place where you remember how it feels."You wake up the next day and you're like, 'life goes on, it's not as bad as I thought it was going to be'."Mending his forlorn heart - and building the resilience which helped him execute special shots in his Masters win after tough psychological moments - has enabled the boy from Holywood to finally achieve golfing immortality.On Sunday, he roared back to win the Green Jacket and become only the sixth man in 90 years of the four modern majors to win the career Grand Slam.What makes his achievement even more remarkable is the 14-year journey which took him there."It was maybe one of the greatest performances ever, with so much pressure on him," McIlroy's sports psychologist Bob Rotella told BBC Radio 5 Live."What Rory is going to be so proud of is that he found out how unbelievably tough he is."
The influence of the renowned sports psychologist
From the moment on Tuesday when McIlroy opened up, you sensed there was something different in his mentality.Working with Rotella - who helped Ireland's Padraig Harrington win three majors - has been a key factor.McIlroy has known the renowned American since 2010 and the conversations between the pair intensified going into his 11th attempt to complete the career Grand Slam at the Masters.McIlroy said they talked before the tournament about "trying to chase a feeling" on the course, rather than "getting too much into results and outcomes".The strategy worked perfectly in his opening 14 holes.Then a pair of double bogeys dropped him seven shots off the lead. McIlroy again scarpered quickly from the course.The reasoning was he wanted to "leave what happened" behind at Augusta National. The fast exit and a Friday morning chat with Rotella helped him bounce back into contention.A bogey-free 66, accelerated by five birdies on the second nine, moved him two behind Justin Rose at halfway."I had a good conversation with Bob, mostly around not pushing too hard too early and trying to get those shots back straight away," McIlroy said.Patience was also the plan for Saturday.McIlroy and Rotella discussed "letting the score come" and not trying to "force the issue" as he chased down Rose, who held a one-shot lead after 36 holes.
A blistering start to his third round saw McIlroy sink three birdies and an eagle as he became the first player to card threes on each of the opening six holes.Still he was stony faced. The solemn expression demonstrated his steely focus and remained throughout another card of 66.McIlroy refused to get carried away with the highs of his round, or too disheartened by a stickier patch around the turn."I certainly don't want to be a robot out there, but at the same time I don't want to be too animated, either," he said.Moving into a one-shot advantage over DeChambeau set up Sunday's box-office finale.The contrasting approaches of the final pairing - McIlroy blocking out the noise, DeChambeau feeding off the rising decibels - added an intriguing layer.McIlroy largely maintained his composure in what DeChambeau described as an "electric" atmosphere. "He wouldn't talk to me," the maverick American said.Keeping his own counsel worked."Every time he made a mistake he came back and did something fantastic," Rotella said."It is like he had a will that was made of steel. He kept bouncing back no matter what they threw at him."
Watching Bridgerton, Disney & sport - how 'distractions' helped
Switching off from what happens on the course - or, at least, trying to - was another important factor.Methods which McIlroy used to zone out included watching racy period drama Bridgerton - which he claimed he was talked into by wife Erica - and Disney animation Zootopia with his four-year-old daughter Poppy.Picking up a fictional novel "for the first time in a long time" was another. Reading a John Grisham book called The Reckoning proved apt.On the morning of his own day of reckoning, McIlroy spent the hours before his career-defining day watching sport.Spanish tennis star Carlos Alcaraz's win at the Monte Carlo Masters was followed by a "little bit" of Premier League football and the Formula 1 GP in Bahrain. "I tried to keep myself distracted with other sports," he said.Family time also helped McIlroy compartmentalise the day job. After Thursday's late blow, he said heading home to see Poppy before bedtime helped him move on.The family took part in the Masters traditional par-three contest on Wednesday alongside McIlroy's close friends Shane Lowry and Tommy Fleetwood, and their wives and children.Poppy stole the show by knocking in a 25-foot putt and joined her father again on the 18th green after he secured victory."I'm not going to compare this to life moments like a marriage or having a child," said McIlroy."But it's the best day of my golfing life."
Dusting himself off from near misses - and Pinehurst
When 25-year-old McIlroy claimed the fourth major of his career - at the 2014 US PGA Championship - it felt inevitable he would quickly complete the collection at the Masters.Back-to-back majors at the Open Championship and US PGA - having previously won the 2011 US Open and 2012 PGA - signalled his dominance.A Green Jacket could have already been in the wardrobe, too, but he blew a four-shot lead on a haunting final day in 2011.It sparked a long barren streak at all four majors, with McIlroy's heart crushed most recently at Pinehurst in June.The world number two had charged up the US Open leaderboard to move two shots clear of overnight leader Bryson DeChambeau.Then, as McIlroy later admitted, he lost focus.Bogeys on three of his last four holes allowed DeChambeau to snatch a dramatic victory.It was a loss which cut deep. McIlroy fled Pinehurst swiftly, avoiding the media and laying low until the Scottish Open a month later."Some people have an experience like that and decide they don't want to get there again, it hurts too much," said Rotella."He said he wanted to win majors and could handle losing."While he missed the cut at the blustery Open Championship which followed, his bounce back in 2025 has been impressive.A dominant final round led to a two-shot victory at Pebble Beach in February, before he mentally reset to win last month's The Players Championship at Sawgrass in a play-off showdown on the Monday.And so to Augusta National. The guttural emotion following Sunday's winning putt was McIlroy shedding the weight of burden which had laid heavy."Every time you get your heartbroken you have to bounce back and it makes for a better story – but you have to have the guts to keep going after it," Rotella added. "A lot give up on themselves. I admire the heck out of him because he didn't."