How to prepare your teenager for a safe post-Leaving Cert holiday

Irish Examiner

2 days ago

As thousands of young people excitedly jet off for the post-Leaving Cert holiday, their parents will be anxiously checking WhatsApp messages for blue ticks (in the absence of replies), following the weather forecasts for various Spanish and Greek hotspots, and trying to resist the urge to call their teenagers who have neglected to phone home at the promised time.
All of this worry is natural, according to psychologist Dr Malie Coyne, but it is also important for adults to instil responsibility in to their newly independent children, she says.
'It is normal for parents to worry, but it is also a rite of passage for young people to want to go on holiday with their friends,' Dr Coyne says.
'Hopefully, parents will have been building open relationships with their kids throughout their lives and will have already imparted sensible advice and used everyday opportunities to talk about safety and how, on a night out or trip away, to never leave their friends and always stick together. As the mother of daughters, I suppose I worry that they are more vulnerable, but the same also applies to guys, so never leaving your friends is crucial.
'Also, I would encourage parents to have agreed with their teenagers to have regular check-ins, whether that is by text or call, as this can help to maintain a sense of security,' Dr Coyne says. 'So, before they jet off, I would encourage parents to say what they expect of them. I would be telling mine to keep in contact, put on sun cream every day, drink lots of water, both during the day and when out drinking; also make sure to eat if drinking alcohol, always stay with friends, and never go off with someone they don't know.
'It's a good idea to be open in conversation with them, to talk about potential risks regarding alcohol, unsafe situations, and peer pressure. For example, ask them what they would do if someone wanted them to do 10 shots or take a certain substance. Talk to them about all of these things and make sure they know about setting boundaries and recognising warning signs.'
Most teens will have had some independence, but every parent will have different expectations, so 'there is no hard and fast rule' on what they should and shouldn't do.
Dr Malie Coyne, psychologist
'You know your child best, so any agreement you have in place will be based on your own situation,' Dr Coyne says. 'Parents should be able to trust the values they have instilled from the beginning and see that experiences like going on holiday with friends can be opportunities for growth.
'And while they might not want them to go to certain destinations, they can agree on somewhere that they believe is safer or closer. It's also important for parents to know what hotel they will be staying in and that they have medical insurance and travel documents, which are up to date.
'And if they really don't feel that their teen is ready or mature enough to embark on an independent trip with friends, then maybe a compromise can be reached where they can do something different with friends or have a family trip away and that there may be the possibility of going next year.'
No matter how old you are when travelling, being prepared is key as it is always important to have everything in place to prevent any mishaps.
A spokesperson for the HSE says that along with passports and tickets, holidaymakers should have applied for their European Health Insurance Card (EHIC) and it must be in date, because should any accidents or health issues occur, it will help with reduced cost.
They also advise being safe in the sun by staying in the shade when it's hottest, wearing sunscreen with an SPF of 30 or higher, and always putting on a hat and sunglasses when out and about.
And while everyone wants to let their hair down on holiday, it is vital to keep your wits about you.
'Alcohol lowers your inhibitions, which can result in you doing things you usually wouldn't do,' the spokesperson says. 'While some people think this will give them more confidence, it can also mean that you might do something you later regret. Everyone reacts differently to alcohol, so what works for your friends might not work for you, so look after yourself and your friends, and make the best decision that suits how you want to celebrate, while staying safe.
'But even if you're not drinking alcohol, it's important not to leave your drink unattended and not to accept any drinks from strangers. Stay with your friends and agree on a meeting point if one of you gets separated from the group. And make sure that your phone is fully charged, so you can contact friends, family, or emergency services if something happens.'
Along with being sensible around alcohol consumption by ordering smaller and lower-strength drinks and by eating well before going out, the HSE also advises young people to be very careful about drugs.
'It's always safer not to use drugs. Some people may be at greater risk, due to personal factors, such as their physical or mental health status, which is unique to them,' says the spokesperson. 'So, avoid use if you have underlying conditions, mental health concerns, a family history of mental health concerns, or if you are feeling low, depressed, or anxious.
'This can increase the risks for you.
'Also, be in the know and research and stay up to date with drug market trends, avoid using drugs in new settings, and have a friend you trust with you. If taking something, pace yourself and leave time between uses. If you don't react as expected, don't take any more, and avoid using with other drugs. This includes with alcohol and prescription medication. Mixing drugs increases risks and can be unpredictable.
'And, don't be afraid to get medical help if you, or a friend, become unwell or feel suicidal after using drugs. So, when in doubt, get it checked out.'
For confidential information and support about alcohol and drugs, visit www.drugs.ie or contact the free HSE drugs and alcohol helpline at 1800 459 459, Monday to Friday, 9.30 am - 5.30 pm, or email [e-mail]