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What it is really like to be a WAG in Australia
For years, WAG culture has been put on a pedestal in Australia. Glamorous, polished, and always front and centre. From Rebecca Judd to Jesinta Franklin, the women behind AFL stars have been splashed across the pages of Austraia's newspapers, labelled 'glamour WAGs' and packaged into a media-driven identity that has little to do with the actual reality of life inside the AFL bubble. We don't talk enough about what it's really like to be the woman behind the athlete. The public sees the polished photos, the race day outfits, the glamour. But they don't see the long-distance parenting, the invisible mental load, or the unspoken expectation that you make yourself smaller while they chase something big. I know this firsthand. I've lived it. My husband, Lachie Henderson, spent over a decade in the AFL system, playing for Brisbane, Carlton, and Geelong. While the outside world saw the polished version of AFL life, behind the scenes, I was juggling long-distance, single motherhood, and running a business full-time – without the luxury of pressing pause. I met him while raising a child as a single mum, running my swimwear label IIXIIST, and building a life on my own terms. And while I loved him - and the life we were building - I quickly learnt that being a WAG in Australia came with a playbook. One I never really wanted to follow. Navigating the WAG world AFL culture is structured, disciplined, and deeply traditional. The same applies to the social side of it. There are unspoken expectations – who sits where at the club functions, who's in the inner circle, and how present you are within the 'group'. It's not a written rulebook, but it's there. For someone like me, who was already running a brand and raising a child, the WAG world was just another ecosystem to navigate, but never fully buy into. There's a hierarchy in every WAG circle, and you know your place in it pretty quickly. I wasn't interested in competing for a seat at the table when my focus was on my business, my child, and my life outside of football. I refused to put my life on hold. A lot of WAGs centre their lives around the AFL calendar. Training schedules, interstate travel, mid-season moves. It all revolves around the game, not the individual. Lachie and I did long-distance across Brisbane, Melbourne, and Geelong, but we always made decisions as a partnership, not just around footy. There's a strange undercurrent inside the AFL bubble. It's structured. Disciplined. And socially, it's incredibly cliquey. There's no official hierarchy - but it exists. Who you sit next to at events, how involved you are with the club, whether or not you're part of 'the group.' It felt eerily like high school, just with more fake lashes and club polos. At the time, I was doing long distance between states, juggling footy schedules, running a business, and raising a baby. I didn't have the capacity (or the interest) for the politics. I wasn't there to compete for a seat at any table. My time and energy were already fully accounted for: managing a company, keeping a child alive, and building a future I wasn't willing to shelve for someone else's career. It's not that I didn't support Lachie. I did and still do. But I've always believed in staying in your own lane. My business mattered. My goals mattered. And I wasn't going to push them aside just because I married someone with a profile. There's a reason many AFL WAGs start businesses, fashion labels, or wellness brands – it's not just about career ambition, it's about having something that belongs to you. I was building IIXIIST at the time, and later The Prestwick Place, and I was always clear that my career mattered just as much as his. The culture is not for everyone WAG culture in Australia can be welcoming and supportive, but it can also be cliquey and isolating. Some women form lifelong friendships, while others feel like outsiders in an unspoken hierarchy. The biggest misconception? Being a WAG is not a job. There's no contract, no title, and yet, there's an expectation that you play a certain role – supportive, present, polished. Some thrive in that space, while others struggle to find their own identity outside of their partner's career. When Lachie retired at the end of 2021, we were finally able to live life on our own terms. We left the AFL structure behind, moved to the Gold Coast, and co-founded The Prestwick Place together. After years of working around footy schedules, training commitments, and game-day routines, we finally had full control over our time, our business, and our future. The label never fit In Australia, the term WAG carries weight. You're either glamorous, supportive, and on-brand… or you're cold, distant, and not one of the girls. Neither version ever felt like me. I've always believed women can be both. Supportive and ambitious. Present and independent. Loving and driven. I wasn't looking to be defined by my partner's job title and I wasn't about to be reduced to mine either. There are plenty of beautiful, kind, intelligent women in that world, many of whom I admire. But the label always felt limiting. It was about who we were attached to, not who we were on our own. There's no single way to be a WAG. Some women embrace it fully, enjoying the events, the media attention, and the connection to the club. Others, like me, choose to stay in their own lane and focus on what's important to them. There's no right or wrong way to do it, but there is a choice. You don't have to dress a certain way, show up to everything, or let your partner's career dictate your own. For me, WAG culture was just one chapter of my life. It didn't define me then, and it doesn't define me now. Rewriting the narrative Today, Lachie and I are married. We live on the Gold Coast. We co-run our business and we've just had our first child together - growing our family to four. Our relationship is exactly what the term implies - a partnership. Equal parts give and take. And I say that as someone who's carried everything alone before. There's a shift happening in the way people talk about relationships, especially when both people are ambitious. It doesn't have to be either/or. It just requires being intentional. You have to make space for each other's goals. Let go of what it 'should' look like. And back yourselves to figure it out together, as you go.
