Lighten Up: Eurovision and my 'feet of flames' at Bandon Mart

Irish Examiner

19-05-2025

It's over 30 years ago now since 'we' took to the stage with Riverdance.
And yes, I said 'we', for Auld Lehane had a major part in it.
The dancing, the jigs, the whole lot, I just simply forgot to mention it earlier, due to being tied up with farming.
My Riverdance escapade began innocently enough when I was spotted doing some fancy footwork around the calf pens at Bandon Mart.
Back then, I worked as a drover. And it was said that I had 'feet of flames', for never had my foot been trodden on by the wayward hoof of a calf or bullock, no matter how many I was hunting, corralling or loading.
I had the quickest feet in the west, or at least at Bandon Mart. I was a legend, really.
Anyhow, this was soon spotted by a talent scout looking for dancers for Riverdance, who happened to be in the mart one Monday. His name escapes me now, but he was famous at the time.
"Lord God almighty, young Lehane!" he exclaimed, one afternoon after the calf sale had finished. "But you have 'feet of flames."
I was young at the time, you see, so this was the reason why he called me 'young Lehane' and not 'auld Lehane' as you would know me today.
Anyhow, there and then, being badly stuck for a dancer, he asked if I would join the fledgling Riverdance crew, who would soon be performing on the world stage at Eurovision.
Didn't want to jeopardise the day job
I said I'd think about it, for I had a good steady job in the mart, and didn't want to jeopardise it.
Eventually, however, I agreed to give the Riverdance thing a shot and so exchanged my Wellington boots for dancing clogs. And boy, was that some alteration in footwear.
For three weeks, and possibly four, I trained with the best dancers in the world and lo and behold, within no time, I was leading the charge.
My feet of flames, from my time at the mart, had served me well.
And finally, as the big night drew near, I was introduced to the beautiful Jean Butler and given a big flannel shirt to wear.
"She will come out first and do a nice slow jig," I was told, "And then you will stomp on like the devil himself."
'"No bother," says I.
Anyhow, as the big night neared, all the closer, didn't I decide to spend one final day at the mart? For I had the time, and to be honest with you, I needed the money.
Riverdance back then was far from the cash cow it is today. I had no money for it, t'was only a diddley-eye class of a thing.
So back to the mart I went, and boy was I sorry.
I had the worst day imaginable. Everything went wrong. My toes were trod on, my arse was kicked and my face was smacked by a thousand tails.
The cattle were a nightmare. I had lost my touch.
No longer had I feet of flames, only feet of blisters.
When this was discovered, Flatley was drafted in, and the rest, as they say, is history.
Sure, what hope would I have had on the dancefloor with Jean Butler when I couldn't even conduct a few bull weanlings around a ring?
Anyhow, Flatley went on to become a legendary dancer, and I went on to become the legendary 'auld Lehane'.
So in the finish, it was a happy day for the both of us.