He had a debilitating sports betting addiction but didn't realize it. His story's not uncommon.

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He had a debilitating sports betting addiction but didn't realize it. His story's not uncommon.
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A therapist explains how financial infidelity hurts relationships
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To Sam DeMello's friends, it seemed like the then 26-year-old had everything together: a six-figure tech salary, an enviable workout regimen and a happy relationship. But as he crossed the finish line of the 2013 Nike San Francisco marathon, he was surrounded by a deep sense of self-loathing.
His friends, family and girlfriend had no idea he was struggling with a crippling sports betting addiction. He fell into an addiction just a few weeks after being introduced to sports gambling, though he didn't realize it until years later.
'All of my friends would come to me and say, 'Congratulations, man, you're crushing it. We're so proud of you,'' DeMello says. 'I would just feel this dissonance, because I felt so fraudulent.'
DeMello, now 38 and in recovery, wishes he saw the warning signals sooner.
As legalized sports betting grows across the United States, a growing number of young men are falling into gambling addictions without recognizing the signs. Driven by the explosion of mobile betting platforms and a lack of age-targeted resources, many see betting as a form of entertainment or investing until it's too late.
The problem, addiction experts say, is as serious as substance abuse and widely misunderstood — and it could be the next public health crisis for young people.
'In the last seven years, we've had expansion of gambling and sports betting to the point where it's not only just normalized, but it's embedded in everything we do in American culture,' says co director of the UCLA Gambling Studies Program Dr. Timothy Fong '[Teens are] growing up thinking that sports entertainment is gambling.'
Sports gambling addiction explained: Inside the high-stakes, high-risk world of sports betting and how it's gripping young men
How the brain rationalizes addiction
Addiction develops when a substance or behavior triggers the reward center of the brain. The rush of that activity — like hitting a parlay — sends a fast release of the pleasure-inducing chemical dopamine to the brain. Over time, this repeated behavior overwhelms the brain's reward pathways in a way that can permanently alter how it processes impulse control, pleasure and motivation.
'With substances, you're actually physically injecting something or inhaling it or somehow putting it into your body, whereas with problem gambling, it's all behavioral,' says Heather Eshleman, the prevention manager at the Maryland Center of Excellence on Problem Gambling.
That distinction has led to increased stigma.
'Gambling addiction is incredibly stigmatized, even more so than substance use disorder,' says Cait Huble of the National Council on Problem Gambling. 'A lot of people incorrectly still assume that it is a moral failing, lack of self control, when chemically, it's exactly the same as any other type of addiction.'
Starting to gamble at a younger age and doing so more frequently are key factors that increase the risk of developing a gambling addiction, according to Fong. There's a large deficit in young adults' ability to deal with the highs and lows of gambling. Teenagers' executive functioning, abstract thinking and decision-making skills continue to develop through age 25.
'A (teenager's) brain doesn't have impulse control. It doesn't have the ability to recover from losses quickly,' Fong says. 'It knows, 'I want money, I want excitement, I want things that my friends have. I want to prove that I'm super cool to my friends.' '
Young men often view gambling as a hobby
During the height of his addiction, DeMello's life revolved around scheduled sports games. He gambled on his phone during the elevator rides down from the $150-an-hour therapy sessions he booked. He would check his wagers before he put on his clothes after the deprivation flotation tank sessions he bought to relax his mind. And when he attended Burning Man as an escape, the last thing he did before he lost cell service was see if his bets won.
Still, DeMello didn't understand he had an addiction.
Gambling addictions, he thought, were for guys spending their last $5 at the horse track, not him. He never put charges on his credit card that he didn't pay back, and he didn't borrow money from anyone.
'That kept me in addiction for probably seven years,' DeMello says.
Like DeMello, many young men view gambling as a hobby or way to engage with their favorite sports team. After a 2018 Supreme Court overturning of the Professional and Amateur Sports Protection Act (PASPA) turned regulation of betting over to the states, a boom in legalization followed. Today, sports betting is legal in 39 states and the District of Columbia.
Sportsbooks became accessible in young adults' pockets all day, every day. A multi-million dollar advertising blitz quickly followed legalization, reaching millions of American teens who watch sports. There is no federal legislation specific to sports betting advertisements, leaving the field unregulated compared to laws that restrict ads for traditional gambling.
Young adults over the age of 18 can gamble with units as small as $5 or $10. And online sportsbook apps like DraftKings and FanDuel offer incentives for new customers to bet seemingly risk-free.
'I see a lot of young people who come in, get exposed to the gambling and have a means to gamble with a little bit, and then that activates the addiction,' Fong says.
Huble says that part of the problem is that young people don't recognize activities like raffles, bingo and fantasy sports as gambling. While 92% of those 65 or older consider betting on sports outcomes to be gambling, the figure drops to 50% when looking at 18 to 24 year olds, according to the National Council on Problem Gambling's 2021 NGAGE survey of public attitudes toward gambling.
DeMello tried upwards of 50 times to quit cold turkey, and he would make it two or three days before he relapsed. He lived with his fiancée for a year without her knowing. But he eventually developed an alcohol and drug problem as a result of his gambling addiction — something gambling experts say is common.
'It's always the same story with other addictive disorders, that they run together with mental health,' Fong says. 'The chicken leads to the egg, and the egg leads to the chicken.'
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'I did not think that I had an addiction'
As DeMello lost control over his gambling, he punished himself in other ways — refusing to buy groceries, manically tracking calories or pushing himself to exhaustion in the gym. Over the 10 years when addiction ruled his life, he estimates that he lost between $500,000 and $1 million.
'We talk about gambling being the hidden addiction, because it's really easy to hide from other people, but it's also really easy to hide from yourself,' DeMello says. 'I did not think that I had an addiction.'
When DeMello tried traditional methods for treating addiction, he felt isolated. When he started attending therapy, his therapist's prodding about his childhood trauma didn't resonate — he was acutely aware of his privilege growing up in Oakland in the '90s. He figured he'd try a Gamblers Anonymous meeting. But he was the youngest person in the room by 30 years and gave up after six months.
'I walked out of my first therapy appointment and said, 'Oh, this isn't for me. This is for people with real problems,'' DeMello says.
To correct that understanding, experts like Fong and Eshleman say responsible gambling education needs to start much younger.
What parents, young people need to know about sports betting addictions
Gambling prevention materials haven't caught up to the industry's boom and receive less support compared to mandated education on cannabis, tobacco and alcohol use. Unlike other mental health and addiction services, there are no federal agencies that oversee problem gambling. As a result, gambling prevention is left to the states.
'When you look at how many young people just dive into this behavior, they dive into it really with very little training or education. There's no owner's manual, right? There's no teacher, as it were, to show them how to gamble responsibly,' Fong says.
When it comes to recovery resources, DeMello says gambling harm reduction advocates need to show up for young people in a digital environment, where the stigma of having to pick up the phone and call somebody is a barrier.
He founded Evive, a digital therapy app specific to gambling, to fill a gap in age and technology. Based out of Boston, health authorities in Oregon, Oklahoma, Massachusetts, Louisiana, Virginia and Nevada have partnered with the app.
In the meantime, Fong and DeMello say conversations about sports betting can start at home, where adults should advocate for responsible habits.
'It needs to become part of the American Zeitgeist that you talk to your kids about sex and drugs and gambling,' DeMello says.
Young adults struggling with responsible gambling can text or call National Problem Gambling Helpline 24 hours a day at 800-GAMBLER or find a Gamblers Anonymous meeting.
Rachel Hale's role covering Youth Mental Health at USA TODAY is supported by a partnership with Pivotal Ventures and Journalism Funding Partners. Funders do not provide editorial input. Reach her at [e-mail] and @rachelleighhale on X.