Elon Musk's black eye was the panda in the room at his final farewell

Yahoo

2 days ago

Viewers of Elon Musk's farewell news conference in the Oval Office had only one question: Just how had he acquired his black eye?
Did he have a run in with a French president's wife on a passenger jet? Were the reports of a physical altercation with Donald Trump's treasury secretary true? Or does he have the most punchable face in Washington?
For a full 41 minutes, it was the panda in the room. The overeducated White House press corps quizzed the president on his plans for a spending bill and talks on Ukraine while lobbing softballs at Mr Musk, asking whether it was easier to colonise Mars or cut government spending.
And then finally, almost apologetically, the world's richest man was asked about the 'bruise thing' under his eye.
'I was just horsing around with little X,' he said, referring to his five-year-old son. 'And I said, 'Go ahead, punch me in the face.' And he did.'
And if you believe that, I have a Dogecoin to sell you.
Friday marked 130 days of Mr Musk's reign at the head of the Department of Government Efficiency (Doge). That meant he had run up against the time limit for a 'special government employee,' which meant, of course, that he would have to leave his position, given how Mr Trump is such a stickler for the rules and regulations of the federal government.
Cue an Oval Office press conference.
Officially, it was an occasion to send off Mr Musk and mark his achievements.
Unofficially, it was a chance to celebrate the president's brilliance in picking the world's richest man to take an axe – or a chainsaw – to excessive federal spending.
So before Mr Musk was rewarded with a giant golden key, and before he could be asked about bombshell allegations about his ketamine use and its impact on his bladder, or about that black eye, Mr Trump called for a laptop loaded with a cable news clip to be placed on the Resolute Desk.
An aide pressed play, and the most famous room in the world echoed with the business editor of CNBC praising Mr Trump's first four months in office.
'I've been watching these numbers a long time,' said Rick Santenelli. 'I don't think I've ever seen the trade deficit cut in half in one month.'
Mr Trump beamed. Then he remembered the man next to him dressed in a black cap, black 'Dogefather' T-shirt, and black jacket, looking for all the world like a Little League umpire.
'Today, it's about a man named Elon,' said Mr Trump.
For all the talk about Mr Musk leaving with his tail between his legs, of fallouts with the president and his business interests tanking, the president was eager to insist that the man who calls himself the 'first buddy' would continue to offer advice and guidance to Doge.
'I have a feeling it's his baby,' said Mr Trump, rather like some of those women on social media who claim they found the chief executive of X sliding into their DMs with a lucrative offer to help spread his gene pool.
Meanwhile, Mr Trump dispensed marital advice ('Make sure the door remains closed,' he said when asked about the viral clip of Brigitte Macron shoving the French president in the face), discussed the chances of peace in Gaza, transgender mice and the possibility of a Diddy pardon (he didn't rule it out), and something to do with Burma.
It all brought Mr Musk's time at the White House full circle.
When he was introduced to the media back in February, he held court in the Oval Office, riffing with journalists and reducing the president to a mere observer in his own seat of power.
On Friday, Mr Musk spent much of his send-off as a bit part in a bigger show. Outshone by a shiner, and Mr Trump's many achievements.
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