When 'Real Housewives' Makes Women Want to Be More Than Housewives

Newsweek

4 hours ago

Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.
For some, the Real Housewives is a means to achieve their 15 minutes of fame, but for other cast members, it has been a vehicle to break free from traditional roles expected of women and take financial control of their lives.
"They're finding their independence through the show," Frances Berwick, chairman of Bravo & Peacock unscripted, told Newsweek. "It's given a lot of them the ability to fulfill a dream or to evolve into something and realize their full potential."
When Real Housewives started filming, Andy Cohen didn't believe it had what it takes to become a success. He didn't even think it was worth putting "Orange County" in the title because he didn't see it expanding to other areas. So, highlighting the location wasn't necessary, and it felt clunky.
Nearly 20 years later, the franchise has expanded to 11 cities, and more than 150 women have been cast for the show. Generally speaking, the women cast have the kind of money that many people dream of having, often fueled by their husbands' business ventures. They're women who are predominantly focused on raising their families and caring for their husbands, who, often, are blunt about calling the shots in the relationship.
But just because they start out in those roles doesn't mean they stay in them. Over the years, viewers have witnessed the evolution of these stars as they transitioned from traditional "housewife" to breadwinner.
As one of the original Orange County housewives, Tamra Judge was among those who launched the entire franchise—and after a brief hiatus, she remains on people's screens each week.
When Tamra was first on the show, she went by the name Tamra Barney, a last name she shared with her husband, Simon. During the early seasons, viewers saw Tamra kowtowing to Simon's domineering manner. The two said they didn't travel without each other. Simon would question the appropriateness of the Judge's outfits and berate her for the demands of her Housewives career taking her away from time with her children.
"He controlled everything," Tamra told Newsweek. "He didn't want me outside of the house. He did not want me to have any life outside of this house and with the kids and that was it. And I really thought that's how it was."
At the end of Season 5 of RHOC, viewers watched as Tamra hit her breaking point, declaring in a limousine ride to a party that she wanted a divorce. Then, when Season 6 returned, viewers watched her navigate life as a single mom and a 43-year-old woman who suddenly only had herself to depend on.
Tamra Judge attends KIIS FM's Jingle Ball in Los Angeles on December 2, 2022.
Tamra Judge attends KIIS FM's Jingle Ball in Los Angeles on December 2, 2022.She returned to real estate, started selling her clothes on eBay to pay the rent, and eventually opened a gym that would become her primary business for a decade. While she ultimately partnered with her now-husband, Eddie Judge, she retained the majority stake in the company.
And, unlike her first marriage, she doesn't rely on Eddie financially.
"Being able to take care of yourself and your children is the most amazing feeling in the entire world," Tamra said. "I do credit the show for giving me the platform, the courage to move on and get out of this marriage that I was very unhappy with."
The couple has since partnered on a successful CBD business, made smart investments, and Tamra hosts a very popular podcast with former castmate Teddi Mellencamp. Tamra still keeps her real estate license active in case she ever needs it again. While Housewives has been her identity for years, it could end at any time, and when that day comes, she wants a diversified source of income.
"The show has been incredible to me and the platform is incredible...but it's not gonna be there forever," Tamra said.
While Tamra was finding her way out of her bad marriage, her castmate, Alexis Bellino, was embarking on a new role as well. A woman who once called her husband, Jim, her "king," viewers watched her step outside her Leave It to Beaver life to create a fashion line and appear on a morning news show. She said that she was initially happy about giving up her career to take on the traditional role, but after joining Housewives, she wanted to pursue a career again.
The couple ended up divorcing, something that Alexis said likely would have happened regardless of whether she was cast on Housewives or not, because of their changing definitions of what a marriage should look like.
She told Us Weekly that changing the "agreement" of who is going to be the breadwinner and who is going to take care of the kids requires a couple to either grow together in their new roles or face the possibility of breaking up.
In Season 11 of Real Housewives of New Jersey, viewers saw that dynamic play out with Melissa and Joe Gorga. Melissa had become a staple of the franchise, with numerous appearances and Envy, a boutique she opened 10 years ago that has since expanded to multiple locations.
From what viewers saw, it wasn't necessarily an easy shift for Joe to make, and the tension viewers saw was the culmination of years of changes in the dynamics of their marriage.
Having gotten married young, Melissa and Joe started as a very traditional couple. Melissa stayed home with the kids, had dinner on the table when Joe got home and supported him by running the household while he was the breadwinner.
"I would have to ask him sometimes for a $100 bill," Melissa told Newsweek. "Sometimes I would say to Joe, like, 'I wanna go to the mall today and like push Antonia around in the stroller, like, can I get some cash?' And I hate that."
Photo-illustration by Newsweek/Getty/Bravo
Melissa lost her father at a young age, forcing her to work to support herself through college. When she met Joe, she was already working three jobs. While she always wanted a traditional family, her work ethic was one of the things that drew Joe to her, and that didn't change when they got married.
Always receiving compliments on what she wore, Melissa realized she could monetize her sense of style by opening a boutique and selling her own clothing. Viewers watched as Joe had to take on more of the child-rearing while Melissa opened the store and famously said she "makes the crumbs" with her business, while his is the "cake."
"I showed my whole journey with that and how it wasn't easy...My husband was used to me being home, me being there after school, me getting them to school, you know? The whole thing," Melissa said. "People really gravitated and rooted for me and it was inspiring to a lot of the moms out there who do have hopes and dreams...we can do both. We can be great moms. We can be great wives and we can also own a business."
Women wanting to work and also raise a family isn't a desire confined to reality television shows. It's reminiscent of a shift that's happening in American culture, as well. The number of working moms has doubled since 1975, and the expansion of social media and telework has given women more opportunities than ever before to build flexible work schedules.
And as the share of women working rose, so did the number of women who were earning as much or more than their husbands. In 1972, 85 percent of men were the primary or sole breadwinners, according to Pew Research, and by 2022, that number had dropped to 5 percent. During the same time period, the number of women who are the primary or sole breadwinners more than tripled, increasing from 5 percent to 16 percent.
But women are still the main caretakers of children, whether they're working or not, and the COVID-19 pandemic showed how fragile that balance can be. Working mothers experienced a greater rise in unemployment during the pandemic when their children transitioned to remote education than working fathers. Women are also more likely than men to take time off work to care for sick kids, according to polls.
Unlike Alexis and her husband, Melissa and Joe were able to redefine their roles, offering viewers a glimpse into how couples can successfully navigate the shift. And since opening Envy, Melissa's has started a podcast and launched Let's Sprinkle, a dessert line that has become a runaway success.
Joe has been there every step of the way, championing his wife.
Melissa Gorga is seen behind the desk at her store "Envy By Melissa Gorga" where she was wearing a hat from the merchandise line of her fellow Housewives star and friend Luann de Lesseps on...
Melissa Gorga is seen behind the desk at her store "Envy By Melissa Gorga" where she was wearing a hat from the merchandise line of her fellow Housewives star and friend Luann de Lesseps on March 11, 2025 in Ridgefield, New Jersey. MoreYes, the shift these housewives have undergone has benefited them, but they all agree that it could also be creating generational change. They're women who had a drive to work, and their kids now are getting a firsthand look at what goes into building a business and raising a family.
Tamra's teenage daughter caught the entrepreneur bug and has started buying and selling clothes online. Melissa loves that her daughter, Antonia, got to see her build Envy and that her sons, Gino and Joey, got a firsthand look at what it took to get her dessert line off the ground.
"I love that my children see the kind of time I put into it, but then they also see the success. So, they see I'm not just missing a game here or there, I'm trying to build something for all of us later in life," Melissa said. "Joe and I were explaining to them that there's a financial part of this too...They're learning that it's not all fun and games."
Transitioning from a traditional housewife to the breadwinner isn't as simple as getting on a reality television show, although the platform certainly helps. For most women who appear on the show, their success doesn't transcend the franchise—building an empire off the back of reality television requires drive and hard work.
Both Melissa and Tamra worked before the show and said they probably would have gone back to work eventually with or without it. But, being on Real Housewives opened doors they never thought possible, and the key to their success is harnessing their brand and being authentic.
It's not enough to slap your name on a product; you need to connect with fans in a real way. Berwick said it's not for everyone because it means you're never off the clock.
Bravo stars are stopped on the streets to hear what fans of the show think about their lives and give unsolicited advice, because once you let people into your life, like reality stars do, it's hard to turn the tap off.
For the women who harness that celebrity, the opportunities are life-changing.
"I think there is a school of thought for people who don't watch Bravo that this is a sometimes negative representation of women," Berwick said. "I think we are showing a lot of women being incredibly successful and doing powerful things and using their voices."