I Interviewed 2,000 Loving Mothers—Here's How Affection Shaped Their Kids

Newsweek

11-05-2025

Based on facts, either observed and verified firsthand by the reporter, or reported and verified from knowledgeable sources.
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Ever wonder how those tender moments of childhood—your mom's warm hugs or words of encouragement—might shape the person you grow up to be?
New research suggests that affectionate mothering during childhood doesn't just create happy memories, it could also influence who you become as an adult.
Kids who receive more maternal warmth between ages five and 10 are more likely to develop key personality traits, such as openness, conscientiousness and agreeableness.
To understand more about how this affects children from early life to adulthood, Jasmin Wertz, PhD, lead author of the study and a professor of psychology at the University of Edinburgh analyzed data from 2,232 British identical twins who were followed from birth to age 18 as part of the Environmental Risk Longitudinal Twins Study.
High angle portrait of Asian mother and her daughter hugging while little girl biting her point finger.
High angle portrait of Asian mother and her daughter hugging while little girl biting her point finger.
AnnaStills
By focusing on identical twins, the researchers were able to account for genetic and shared environmental factors, making it possible to isolate the effects of maternal affection.
During home visits, trained observers rated the mothers' warmth toward their children based on five-minute recorded interviews.
"For example, some mothers expressed a lot of positive emotions and empathy about and for their children," Wertz told Newsweek. "They said things such as, 'She's my ray of sunshine, I love her.' Others expressed a lot of criticism and negativity."
These ratings were then compared with the children's personalities at age 18, assessed using the well-established Big Five personality traits model.
"The key discovery was when mothers were more affectionate toward their children, when they grew older, they were more open minded, kinder, more cooperative with others and they were more conscientious," Wertz explained.
Notably, maternal affection did not significantly influence two of the Big Five traits—extraversion and neuroticism—suggesting that other factors such as peer relationships or genetic influences, may play a larger role in shaping these characteristics.
Wertz acknowledged that the effects of affectionate parenting on personality were small, which was surprising since it is often assumed that parents significantly impact their children's personality and other outcomes.
"Even though these effects were overall relatively small, they were robust and also relatively long lasting," she explained.
"Of course, age 18 is still pretty young, but it's an important developmental phase when young people are becoming more independent from their parents," Wertz continued. "So even during that time, that experience of affectionate parenting early in life still had that impact."
Headshot of psychology professor Jasmin Wertz.
Headshot of psychology professor Jasmin Wertz.
Jasmin Wertz
The research also offered practical insights for policymakers and professionals in education, family welfare and mental health.
According to Wertz, supporting parents to be more affectionate could have population-wide benefits over time.
"There are many proven ways to support parents, such as policies that improve a family's financial situation, access to treatment for parents who struggle with mental health problems such as depression and parenting programs that help parents build stronger relationships with their children," she said.
Research indicates that effective parenting programs support mothers in showing increased affection towards their children.
Wertz shared that these programs assist parents in employing more effective discipline strategies and engaging in enjoyable activities with their children, such as reading together, which fosters affectionate parenting.
Additionally, various policies have been identified as effective in promoting affectionate parenting.
"For example, policies that make it possible for parents to seek mental health treatment, if they have mental health problems, that can have a positive effect on the whole family dynamic, including affectionate parenting," she said.
"There are things that we know can be done, and our research would suggest that these types of programs and interventions can have these longer lasting, positive effects for the children."
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Reference
Wertz, J., Moffitt, T. E., Blangis, F., Ambler, A., Arseneault, L., Danese, A., Fisher, H. L., & Caspi, A. (2025). Parenting in childhood predicts personality in early adulthood: A longitudinal twin-differences study. American Psychologist. https://doi.org/10.1037/amp0001508