Gwyneth Paltrow regrets not having more children
Gwyneth Paltrow is getting candid about her past regrets.
On the latest episode of "The goop Podcast," the "Iron Man" actress - who was joined by husband Brad Falchuk - openly discussed the challenges of creating a "blended family" and revealed the one regret about her own children that followed her for years.
"My dad, Bruce Paltrow, used to say the only regret he had in his entire life was not having more kids." she said. "And I felt like that for a long time."
Paltrow shares two children, Moses, 19, and Apple, 20, with ex-husband Chris Martin. Falchuk has two children, son Brody, 18, and daughter Isabella, 20, with his ex-wife Suzanne Bukinik.
Paltrow - who divorced Martin in 2016 and married Falchuck in 2018 - said combining families was tricky in the beginning.
"In an ideal world, the relationship that you have your kids in works out, and your kids never have to experience divorce or blending families or anything like that. But a lot of times, that's not the case," she said.
"Step-parenting is a pretty tricky arena," the Goop founder continued. "It requires a great deal of accountability, vulnerability, understanding your triggers – and nothing quite seems to trigger somebody, especially women, like stepmothers. What seems to happen every time is the dad is in the middle. The kids are having a hard time understanding and adjusting, they don't want to let go of the family dynamic they had, and the dad is trying to appease both and play both sides."
"And the woman is like: 'Hey! Your kids are having a hard time!' It's very easy to take it personally," she added. "I think women come in wanting harmony and good intentions, and it's like the dream that it all is like the 'Brady Bunch' and it blends really well. But the truth is, the only place to act out is against the stepmother – because they don't want to push the dad away."
Paltrow told Falchuck that his children helped define motherhood for her.
"To be maternal … actually, it was your kids who really helped me define this. When I look back, we traversed through some really rough things," she said. "The lessons you learn from your stepchildren have been really profound for me."
"One of my most profound lessons that I learned from my relationship with your daughter, which is now so fantastic, is that there was testing going on," she continued. "She was testing me all the time to see at what point I would reject her. And at some point, I decided, I just need to be exactly that – the essence of maternal, without opinions, without words, without corrections."
With all the kids out of the house now, Paltrow said creating their family unit has been an "amazing" journey.
"You get to create something really new and beautiful out of something uncomfortable," she said. "I love that everybody in our family had the agency to help co-create what we were doing. Of course, like in every storybook, there were good things and there were rocky things – but it's been amazing for me to watch all four kids kind of grow into this and embrace it."
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