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Need advice? Join columnist Carolyn Hax's weekly chat (May 16

Need advice? Join columnist Carolyn Hax's weekly chat (May 16

Washington Post09-05-2025

More from Carolyn Hax
From the archive:
Sister wants a baby with the married man she's seeing
Your kids and your lawyer boyfriend argue. Dismiss with prejudice?
Family can't travel with dog to see parents, so they get a guilt trip instead
His soon-to-be-ex objects to him hitting on her new friend
He was her first love, she was his second-guess
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How To Use Curiosity To Overcome Workplace Shame And Embarrassment
How To Use Curiosity To Overcome Workplace Shame And Embarrassment

Forbes

time39 minutes ago

  • Forbes

How To Use Curiosity To Overcome Workplace Shame And Embarrassment

How To Use Curiosity To Overcome Workplace Shame And Embarrassment There's a moment everyone hopes to avoid. The time you say the wrong thing in front of a client. Or your mind goes blank during a presentation. Or someone points out an error you made in front of the entire team. Suddenly, your face is hot, your thoughts are scrambled, and you just want to disappear. Workplace shame and embarrassment can feel overwhelming, especially for high achievers. But the truth is that it doesn't have to define you. If you let it, curiosity can become your way out. Why Workplace Shame And Embarrassment Hit So Hard Embarrassment and shame are powerful emotions because they're rooted in fear, including the fear of losing status, competence, or belonging. At work, where we often tie our identity to performance, any public misstep can feel like a character flaw instead of a simple mistake. I can remember speaking at an event where Brené Brown spoke prior to my turn on stage. Known for her work on vulnerability and shame, Brené said, 'Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing that we are flawed and therefore unworthy of love and belonging.' That really resonated with the audience. In the workplace, that often translates to believing we are no longer respected. Why Curiosity Works When Confidence Disappears Due To Workplace Shame And Embarrassment Confidence can disappear in a single moment. Curiosity helps you rebuild it. When you feel humiliated, your natural instinct might be to hide or ruminate. But curiosity creates movement. It shifts your focus away from the fear of judgment and onto questions that help you understand what happened, how to respond, and what you can learn. It's a tool for regaining power without pretending the moment didn't happen. What Questions Can Help After A Humiliating Moment Of Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? Instead of obsessing over what others might be saying, start with questions that keep you grounded: Curiosity turns you from a victim of the moment into a student of it. It invites reflection instead of reactivity. What Happens If You Don't Use Curiosity To Overcome Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? When you don't question what happened, your brain fills in the blanks with the worst possible explanations. You assume your reputation is ruined. You start replaying the moment over and over again. You might even avoid people or projects just to escape the shame. That avoidance reinforces fear and keeps you stuck. Without curiosity, moments like these grow into patterns that hold you back. Can Curiosity Help You Face The People Who Saw You Experience Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? Yes. Curiosity softens the judgment you place on yourself, and that changes how others respond to you. When you approach the aftermath with a sense of humility and genuine interest in growth, people see that. They're less focused on your mistake and more focused on your recovery. Curiosity gives you something to say besides an apology. It lets you ask for feedback, explore what went wrong, and show up with grace. How Do Leaders Recover From Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? The leaders I've interviewed who made a strong comeback after setbacks didn't ignore the problem or try to cover it up. They used their curiosity to understand how others perceived the situation, what systems failed, and what they could do differently. One executive told me that after a failed launch, she went team by team and asked, 'What did you see that I didn't?' That one question opened up ideas and insight that ultimately led to their next success. What Role Does Emotional Intelligence Play In Overcoming Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? Curiosity is one of the quickest ways to activate emotional intelligence. Instead of reacting based on shame, fear, or blame, curiosity gives you a pause. That pause helps you label your emotions, recognize the impact on others, and regulate your response. Emotional intelligence researcher Marc Brackett wrote in his book Permission To Feel, 'If you can name it, you can tame it.' Curiosity helps you name what's really going on, so you don't spiral. What If You've Experienced Workplace Shame And Embarrassment By Something You Said In A Meeting? This is one of the most common workplace regrets. Whether it's a joke that didn't land or a point you fumbled, embarrassment can feel sharp. Use curiosity to ask yourself: Did I say something unkind or just unpolished? Do I need to follow up or clarify anything? What would help me feel closure on this? Often, a short message, a clarifying email, or even acknowledging the awkwardness with humor can reset the tone. Can Curiosity Help Prevent Future Workplace Shame And Embarrassment Moments? Yes. If you're the type who often feels blindsided, curiosity helps you anticipate better. It encourages preparation, self-awareness, and continuous learning. Asking for feedback before a big meeting or practicing answers to tough questions can reduce the likelihood of missteps. It doesn't guarantee perfection, but it builds resilience and insight that protect your confidence. What Should You Remind Yourself After A Hard Moment Of Workplace Shame And Embarrassment? You're allowed to have an off day. You're allowed to feel embarrassed. But don't let a single moment become your story. Ask the questions that lead to growth. Be the person who gets curious instead of shutting down after experiencing workplace shame and embarrassment. That's what strength looks like. That's what leadership looks like. And that's how you move forward, one question at a time.

A new campaign trying to keep a LGBTQ+ center open
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Yahoo

timean hour ago

  • Yahoo

A new campaign trying to keep a LGBTQ+ center open

SIOUX FALLS, S.D. (KELO) — The Prism Center has been welcoming people from all walks of life since 2023. 'The Transformation Project started to primarily support transgender individuals across the state. But we realized that there was also a gap for everyone in the LGBTQ community. And we all needed a space to come in the community and be together. So we thought it would be a good idea to open a space like this,' said Morgan Peterson, an administrative assistant with the Transformation Project. State plans to decrease its payments to the needy This month the group launched the Prism Center Founders Campaign to keep the center money will also support programs, including Marty's Closet. 'Marty's Closet is an organization that helps trans people find a week's worth of clothing for free. They can come in every six months. And receive access to, free clothing. And also, access to, like, binders and shoes,' said AJ Hamer the Closet Manage for Marty's Closet. The goal is to raise $50,000 by the end of the month, by recruiting 100 founders to raise $500 within their communities. 'Studies have shown that even just one supportive adult in a youth's life who's LGBTQ, it can save their lives and it can prevent suicide. And when you come to the center, you have dozens of people who have your back,' said Peterson. 'If we don't meet our goal, it's going to be very difficult for us to sustain this place long term,' Peterson said. So far, the campaign has received over $16,000 of its $50,000 goal. Here is a link to donate. Copyright 2025 Nexstar Media, Inc. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

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