Teens Are ‘Fambushing' Their Parents—Here's What It Means

Yahoo

2 days ago

Fact checked by Sarah Scott
Just recently, I found myself in need of a particular item, and in a major hurry. I popped into a store I had been avoiding for personal reasons. Almost instantaneously, I got a text from my daughter. The text was two-fold. First, she called me out. Then, she asked me to grab her something.
I brushed it off thinking she must've just happened to check in on my location at that very moment. But then it happened again a week later when I was near a Starbucks. "Strawberry Acai Refresher, please!" she texted, before following it up with, "Light ice!"
I started to feel like my every move was being watched. Enter "fambushing." Let's break it down.
I'm not alone in feeling like I'm constantly being tracked by my kids. Parents everywhere are experiencing the same thing. The suspicious spying trend is being called "fambushing," a fitting play on "ambushing." And according to some parents, their teens aren't just bombarding them with texts; they're even showing up at their locations unannounced.
A mom named Chrysta, who posts on TikTok as @chrystamckenziesapp, shared her own recent fambushing incident in a video that went viral. "When your daughter stalks your location and sees that you're out eating Mexican food," the user wrote over a video of her daughter walking into the restaurant from the parking lot, then happily chowing down on a quesadilla.
"I hate Life360," the mom joked in the caption, referring to the family tracking app that helped her daughter find her.
It's unlikely to come as a surprise that teens are into tracking. Many keep tabs on friends or family through SnapChat using the SnapMap feature which has more than 400 million monthly active users. Likewise, many use the family location sharing tool for iPhone or other apps.
Generation Z—born between 1997 and 2012—is 70% more likely than other generations to use location sharing, according to a 2023 Life 360 study. Ninety-four percent of the age group feels it benefits their life in some way.
Teens of Gen Z, especially, are well-accustomed to location sharing as the first "truly digital native generation,' says Lauren Antonoff, Life360's Chief Operating Officer.
A lot of it comes down to safety.
"'Safe' is the number one term that comes to mind for 66% of Gen Z respondents when thinking about location sharing," says Antonoff, while referencing the study. "Eighty-seven percent of Gen Z respondents said they use the technology for long-distance driving, 80% when visiting new or dangerous places, 77% when going to an event, concert, or festival, and 78% when they are going to party or on a date."
Antonoff adds, "72% of Gen Z women believe their physical well-being benefits from location sharing."
Then there are the teens who are using tracking to lean into the "fambushing" trend. It can be for the perks of something free, bonding moments, or for the laughs. Either way, parents may not always enjoy the surprise.
Even though tracking has become completely normalized—at least for Gen Z—experts say there are some concerns with sharing locations.
Broad location sharing could mean the wrong people are able to find out where your child is. When using location sharing, it should only be done between trusted friends and family members. "Teens should think through who those people are before agreeing to give them access to their location," Antonoff explains.
However, general privacy concerns can exist between family members, too.
On a personal note, while I generally don't mind my kids knowing where I am and have a very open relationship with them, I am a single mom who is dating. I do have a private life that my kids don't need to know every detail of, and so, sometimes, the constant tracking does feel a little, well, strange. I'd rather tell them what I'm doing (or who I'm spending time with) rather than have them find out I'm on a date by tracking me.
Mona Amin, DO, a pediatrician, host of The PedsDocTalk Podcast, and mom, agrees that sometimes location tracking between teens and parents can go too far.
'When teens track their parents and show up unannounced to ask for things like Starbucks or rides, it can blur the line between connection and control,' Dr. Amin tells Parents. 'While location sharing can be helpful for safety and coordination, it should never replace open communication. If a parent were tracking a teen this way—constantly checking in or popping up—we'd probably call it helicopter parenting. So it's worth asking: are we normalizing a dynamic we wouldn't accept in reverse?'"While location sharing can be helpful for safety and coordination, it should never replace open communication."As far as showing up where I am to snag some free food, my teen hasn't done that yet. I can see it being funny as a one-off incident. But, just like I wouldn't pop in unannounced while my teen is hanging out with friends, I'd expect her to keep the same boundaries.
On the same note, Dr. Amin acknowledges that what works for some parents might not work for all, and that having clear conversations is essential. 'The key is making sure there are agreed-upon boundaries and that teens still learn how to ask, not just access,' she says. 'Parents are people too—and teaching that early helps foster mutual respect.'Bottom line: tracking can be a helpful tool, but it can also be a major privacy thief—for both parents and teens. So, perhaps don't track your teens' every move, and ask that they don't track yours. Or, at the very least, they don't show up on your dates.
Read the original article on Parents