These Hilarious Father's Day Quotes Will Make Dad Laugh Out Loud

Yahoo

2 days ago

By default, dads are some of the funniest people in the world. (Dad jokes are a thing for a reason!) One can only dream of the day they master the field of corny puns like fathers do. However, you can get your practice in with Father's Day coming up. As you battle your dad at his own game, it could also be worth reading these funny Father's Day quotes to him. He may appreciate it more than you know.
Don't worry, though—because these aren't just ordinary uplifting quotes you'll want to put on a Father's Day card (though you definitely could). These funny Father's Day quotes are a bit witty, silly, and totally relatable. This quote by Jimmy Kimmel is a great example: 'I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.' Others are those you can use to poke fun at your dad! Like this quote by Jerry Seinfeld: 'You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.'
Plus, some of these will also make perfect Father's Day messages, too. (Something not too emotional, but also not too sarcastic, is always perfect for things like that.) Spread the joy of laughter with Dad and the rest of the family by reading these aloud on his special day.
Here are more ways to have fun on Father's Day:
These Father's Day Jokes Will Make Every Dad Chuckle
Best Father's Day Puns That Are Sure to Make Him Laugh
Groovy Father's Day Songs That Are an Ode to Dad'By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong.''Raising kids is part joy and part guerilla warfare.''There should be a children's song: 'If you're happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let dad sleep.'''Just taught my kids about taxes by eating 38% of their ice cream.''Booking plane tickets for a family trip is a fun little test to see if I still remember all my kids' birthdays and genders.'"I had to go through more training to drive the car home [from the hospital] than I did to have a baby for the rest of my life.''When you're young, you think your dad is Superman. Then you grow up, and you realize he's just a regular guy who wears a cape.''Having one child makes you a parent. Having two kids makes you a referee.''Having children is like living in a frat house. Nobody sleeps, everything's broken and there's a lot of throwing up.''If you're not yelling at your kids, you aren't spending enough time with them.''My father had a profound influence on me. He was a lunatic.''Being a parent involves an unnecessary amount of fake enthusiasm around little kids' poo being in a toilet.''Everybody usually wants to be famous so they can rock nice jewelry and all that. Man, I already got a macaroni necklace.'"Happy Father's Day, Dad! I wouldn't trade you for anything. Of course, nobody's offered me anything."'We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill, 'He wants his mother.'''Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.''A good father is one whose only reason for putting down a laughing baby is to pick up a crying one.''The worst part about being a parent is when one of your kids farts and you have to pretend it wasn't cool.''When I was a kid, I said to my father one afternoon, 'Daddy, will you take me to the zoo?' He answered, 'If the zoo wants you, let them come and get you.'''I would define the new aspects of fatherhood like this: It is 75% amazing and 25% demoralizing. I think any new parent can understand exactly what I'm talking about.''Raising kids may be a thankless job with ridiculous hours, but at least the pay sucks.''Men should always change diapers. It's a very rewarding experience. It's mentally cleansing. It's like washing dishes, but imagine if the dishes were your kids, so you really love the dishes.''Me and my dad used to play tag. He'd drive.''I gave my father $100 and said, 'Buy yourself something that will make your life easier.' So he went out and bought a present for my mother.''Buying your kid a goldfish is a great way to teach them about responsibility for 24 to 36 hours.''My sisters and I can still recite Dad's grilling rules: Rule No. 1: Dad is in charge. Rule No. 2: Repeat Rule No. 1.''Dad taught me everything I know. Unfortunately, he didn't teach me everything he knows.''Father's Day is important because, besides being the day on which we honor Dad, it's the one day of the year that Brookstone does any business.''I have a lot of kids. I say a lot because I don't know the real number.''Having children is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.''Never underestimate kids' tenacity. Raising a child is like wrestling a small but relentless opponent.''I just sit there and make up songs and sing to [my son] in gibberish. I'm very good at gibberish now.''A father carries pictures where his money used to be.''Before I got married, I had six theories about raising children; now, I have six children and no theories.''My daughter got me a 'World's Best Dad' mug. So we know she's sarcastic.''The best fathers have the softest, sweetest hearts. In other words, great dads are real marshmallows.'How come my 3-year-old son knows every species and genus of dinosaur and I can't even remember my home phone number?''Remember: What Dad really wants is a nap. Really.''Having a 2-year-old is like having a blender without a lid.''My 4-year-old son gave me a handmade card for Father's Day. Maybe for Christmas I'll draw him a picture of some toys.''The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get.''You can tell what was the best year of your father's life because they seem to freeze that clothing style and ride it out.''Being a dad isn't just about eating a huge bag of gummy bears as your wife gives birth. It means being comfortable with the word hero.''Life doesn't come with an instruction book — that's why we have fathers.''I learn things from my kids constantly. Most of their knowledge comes from Snapple caps.''Good parenting means investing in your child's future, which is why I am saving to buy mine a hoverboard someday.''A man knows he is growing old because he begins to look like his father.''The first one, I almost became a doula. I was reading every book. I was ready. This one I haven't done anything. I'm like, 'Well, we didn't break the first one.''Being a great father is like shaving. No matter how good you shaved today, you have to do it again tomorrow.''You have to be adaptable because they consistently keep changing. They'll do something that blows your mind and then they'll spit all their food on the carpet.'
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