What most people get wrong about Germany (and the Germans)

Telegraph

5 hours ago

'Don't mention the war!' It's 80 years since the end of the Second World War, and the number of brave veterans keeps on shrinking – but for a great many Britons (including me), our idea of Germany remains rooted in the event.
For anyone who grew up in post-war Britain, that's hardly surprising. From the 1950s to the 1970s, the war dominated every aspect of our culture – from TV to cinema, from comic books to playground games.
Naturally, I was always eager to join in these wargames, and always on the British side. I never told a soul that my father had been born in Germany during the war and had come to Britain as a boy, with a new surname.
As a journalist since the early Nineties, I've reported from all over Germany, and I've discovered a very different country from the British image I grew up with. I've also seen how that image has begun to change.
How did the cultural backdrop of my youth shape British attitudes towards Germany? I reckon it cut both ways. On the one hand, a generation of Britons grew up intrigued (even morbidly obsessed) with Germany – albeit principally the Germany of 1933 to 1945. On the other hand, it fostered lots of myths and preconceptions about the Germans – some of them merely simplistic, others downright crude.
That was perfectly understandable. A lot of my classmates had lost relatives during the war. Under-reported in the Fifties and Sixties, in the Seventies of my youth, the horror of the Holocaust was breaking news.
If, like me, you were raised on comics like Warlord and films like Where Eagles Dare, you were bound to be intrigued by Germany – but you were highly unlikely to regard it as a conventional holiday destination. My parents never took me there. It was the last thing they felt like doing.
But since I've had children of my own, that's all changed. Eager to show them the places I've reported from, I've taken them on countless holidays to Germany, and we've had some great times there. Yet we always knew it was an eccentric choice, and when friends asked us where we were going on our holidays we were often greeted with an awkward silence.
Times are changing, however. Last year, Germany received over 85 million overnight stays from foreign visitors, over 10 per cent more than 2023. Britain was the 4th biggest market, accounting for over 5 million.
The biggest change has been generational. Time is a great healer, and for my children, now in their twenties, Germany is no longer primarily associated with the war. They're not encumbered by the crude generalisations I grew up with. I understand why some Britons are reluctant to go on holiday to Germany. But to set the record straight, here are some of the most familiar stereotypes about Germany – and some surprising facts.
'Germany is expensive'
Before the Germans ditched their beloved Deutschmark, Germany used to be a costly place for British travellers, but since they adopted the Euro prices have levelled out. If you're used to holidaying in Britain you'll be pleasantly surprised. Even with our awful exchange rate, accommodation, eating out and public transport are all noticeably cheaper than they are in the UK.
Train tickets and supermarket goods are especially good value. Rooms and meals are even cheaper in rural areas, especially in the east. Even in the cheapest places you can be sure of decent standards, which means you can travel on a tight budget and still have a nice time. Cash is still widely used for all but the biggest transactions, which helps keep prices down.
'German food is terrible'
German food has always had a bad reputation in Britain, and even as an ardent Teutonophile (a person fond of German culture) I have to admit that reputation isn't entirely undeserved. It's true that in German bierkellers, the food is generally fairly heavy. However it's untrue to assume that in Germany that's the only grub there is.
Germany has more than 300 Michelin-starred restaurants, and even in the everyday places standards are uniformly high. In a rural gasthaus your meal may be hearty but it's bound to be good quality – freshly cooked, locally sourced and served in convivial surroundings. In the big cities there's a growing emphasis on healthy eating, with lots of young international chefs bringing a lighter twist to traditional German recipes.
'German weather is awful'
'When it rains in London, Hamburgers put up their umbrellas.' So say the Hamburgers, with a nod to the many things London and Hamburg have in common – not least the same wet and windy weather. However, most of Germany enjoys a considerably better climate than Hamburg (or London, for that matter). Even along the Baltic coast summers are warm and sunny. Further south it can get very hot.
Berlin and Munich both enjoy midsummer temperatures of over 30C. Freiburg, in the Black Forest, is the sunniest place in Germany, with the Rhineland and Bavaria not far behind.
Winters can be fierce, especially in the south and east, but with a good deal of snowfall guaranteed winter days are often crisp and clear.
'East German cities are lifeless'
When the Berlin Wall came tumbling down in 1989, a forgotten hinterland opened up to British travellers. Touring East Germany in those first few years after reunification was fascinating, but it was sad to see how 40 years of communism had reduced a hard-working, law-abiding populace to a state of abject poverty. The older buildings were derelict and the newer ones were cheap and nasty. The big cities were ugly and filthy; the small towns were rundown and deserted.
How times have changed! Thirty years since the wall came down East Berlin is booming, and this remarkable renaissance has spread far beyond the reinstated capital.
Weimar is a cultural hub again, Dresden's baroque Altstadt has been restored, and Leipzig has been transformed into one of the most dynamic cities in Germany.
The Hanseatic Ports along the Baltic coast attract cultural tourists from all over Europe. After half a century behind the Iron Curtain, Eastern Germany is open for business again.
'West German cities are dull'
While the antique landmarks of East Germany were inadvertently preserved by poverty, West Germany enjoyed an economic boom. For West Germans this was a godsend, but for tourists it was a mixed blessing, as its bombed-out cities were rapidly rebuilt in a bland, modernist, functional style.
Yet since reunification these cities have been reinvigorated by some spectacular modern architecture, and some inspired renovation schemes. Big cities like Munich and Frankfurt combine the best of old and new; smaller cities like Freiburg have retained their medieval charm; Regensburg and Heidelberg are almost ridiculously picturesque.
For art, music and fashion, Hamburg and Düsseldorf are among the leading cities in Europe, and even rust-belt cities like Essen have found a new lease of life, as its redundant mills, mines and factories have been converted into galleries, theatres and concert halls.
'Germany has no seaside'
The German coastline is one of Deutschland's undiscovered glories, virtually unknown to British travellers. In fact it consists of two separate coastlines, each distinct in mood and character.
The North Sea coast is wilder and more windswept, similar to the East Anglian shoreline. Its highlights are the chic beach resort of Sylt and the atmospheric island of Norderney, which inspired Erskine Childers' pioneering spy story, The Riddle of The Sands.
The Baltic Coast is calmer and more intriguing. It boasts a string of historic ports, shut off behind the Iron Curtain until reunification and only now emerging from hibernation. Between them are miles and miles of sandy beaches, and some charming bucket and spade resorts.
Kühlungsborn is the nicest beach resort on the mainland.
Heiligendamm is the grandest. For a real adventure head for Rügen, Germany's biggest island, with its spectacular chalk cliffs and the spooky ruins of a colossal holiday camp built during the Third Reich.
'Germans are bossy'
OK, I admit it – Germans can sometimes seem rather rude. In a way, they're a lot like New Yorkers. They like to get straight to the point. Maybe that's what makes them so good at business. Once you start seeing them this way, you'll find yourself warming to their matter-of-fact, no-nonsense style. Yes, they can sometimes seem a bit abrupt, but the upside of this approach is that you can rely on them to get the job done.
'Germans are boring'
If you've been to Germany on business, you'll know exactly what I mean. ' Ordnung muss sein ' (everything must be in order) is a familiar workplace mantra.
Yet however hard they try, Germans can't quite rid themselves of their endemic weirdness – a deep romanticism that's reflected in their almost paganistic love of nature.
Here, a walk in the woods isn't just a Spaziergang (stroll) – it's a Wanderung (wandering). Germany is famous for its philosophers and composers, not its businessmen. The forest, not the office, is where Germans feel most at home.
'Germans have no sense of humour'
This one is harder to refute since humour, like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. If you think Germans are humourless, who am I to say you're wrong? However I should mention that I only began to understand German wit when I began to speak the language.
If you've only ever heard Germans speaking English, it's hard to work out how humorous they really are. After all, how witty do you tend to be when you're communicating in a foreign tongue? In fact, German humour is very dry, often so dry it can escape your notice. When you finally tune in, however, it can be very funny indeed.
'Germans are efficient'
German society has never really run like clockwork. Its big cities are chaotic, its villages are quaint and sleepy, and life in the countryside moves at a slow and steady pace. Before the 20th century, Germany was widely regarded as a land of dreamers and eccentrics – and, beneath its modern veneer, not a lot has changed.
As British football fans discovered, to their cost, when Germany hosted last year's Euros, the idea that German trains always run on time is maybe the most enduring (and inaccurate) falsehood.
Six of the best surprises in Germany
Fine wine
German wine used to have a bad reputation in Britain, but only because the Germans used to dump their cheap plonk on the British market and keep the best stuff for themselves. Nowadays you can find good German rieslings in British supermarkets, but if you go to Germany you can sample a far wider range of German wines at significantly lower prices.
Franconia, Pfalz and Baden all produce decent vintages, but for the biggest – and finest – selection, head for Rheinhessen and the Rheingau, on the banks of the Rhine.
A beautiful lake
Forty miles long and eight miles wide, the Bodensee (aka Lake Constance) is one of Europe's biggest – and most beautiful – lakes, but most Britons have never heard of it. It's popular with the Germans, but it's never overwhelmed with visitors.
The best way to travel is on the ferries that criss-cross the lake, which forms a border with Austria and Switzerland.
Bregenz (in Austria) and Rorschach (in Switzerland) are well worth seeing, but the prettiest ports are on the German shore, particularly medieval Lindau and Meersburg.
Fine porcelain
Meticulously restored since its destruction at the end of the Second World War, Dresden is back on the tourist trail. However visitors often forget to visit its smaller sister, Meissen – just 20 miles upstream, along the River Elbe.
This quaint medieval citadel is where they make the eponymous porcelain. You can tour the famous factory and buy some to take home. Even better, check out the antique shops scattered around the ornate Altstadt (Old Town). Here you can buy seconds (with tiny blemishes) for a fraction of the price.
Modern architecture
Badly bombed during the Second World War and crudely rebuilt by the Communists, rundown Dessau is hardly the most obvious tourist destination.
However, from 1925 to 1932, this was the headquarters of the Bauhaus, that modernist movement which transformed every conceivable aspect of design.
The futuristic buildings that Walter Gropius built to house his revolutionary design school are still all here. A century since he built them, they still look avant-garde. This campus complex now houses an excellent museum.
Grand castles
Was King Ludwig II of Bavaria really mad? He was certainly very eccentric, a reclusive and obsessive man who aped the lifestyle of a medieval autocrat in an age of steam trains and telegrams. It was his fantastical castles that brought about his downfall, prompting his ministers to depose him, for fear his grand designs would bankrupt his kingdom.
Neuschwanstein is the most famous, the inspiration for Disneyland, but he built several others which are equally spectacular, and while Neuschwanstein has become a tourist trap, the others are a lot less overrun.
Linderhof and Herrenchiemsee are both well worth a visit, but my favourite is Schachen, an Arabian grotto hidden inside an Alpine hut, some 1800m high.
The only way to reach it is on foot, from Partenkirchen, about 1000m below, so you need to be pretty fit to make the hike, but I can promise you won't regret it.
Wild swimming
The German capital a must-see for British visitors, but sightseers rarely venture beyond the built-up city centre. They don't know what they're missing.
Despite its grungy reputation, Berlin is a surprisingly green city, ringed by woods and water. Pick of the bunch is Wannsee, a leafy lake with a handsome, historic Lido and a splendid sandy beach.