She proposed a marriage annulment after cancer diagnosis; he chose to stay on
Mrs Eleanore James and her husband Timothy James participated in MSF's "Real Families, Real Stories" campaign because they wanted to bring hope to other couples. PHOTO: COURTESY OF TIMOTHY AND ELEANOR JAMES
She proposed a marriage annulment after cancer diagnosis; he chose to stay on
SINGAPORE – Shortly after getting married in 2021, social worker Eleanore James and her husband Timothy James started trying for a child – something Mr James has always wanted.
But two months in, she experienced a sharp abdominal pain which landed her in the hospital. A battery of tests found cancer in both her ovaries.
She said: 'My oncologist told us the very devastating news that it is not possible for us to have children.
'I felt like our world crashed. I had to make a difficult decision to propose an annulment to Timothy since we were still newly married.'
This decision was well-thought out, she told The Straits Times.
She said: 'I made this decision since Timothy adores children and always wants to be the father of our children. It would be selfish of me to keep him by my side and rob him of his desire.'
But Mr James refused.
He said: 'I did not even want to reconsider. I remembered my wedding vows towards her – in sickness and in health. My love for her outweighs my desire to have our own children.'
On May 31, the couple's story was featured in an interactive exhibition at the launch of this year's National Family Festival.
The showcase features a selection of stories about the ups and downs of family life submitted by over 500 families for a campaign run by the Ministry of Social and Family Development called 'Real Families, Real Stories' .
Mrs James, now 36, and Mr James, a 43-year-old halfway house operations assistant, chose to participate because they wanted to bring hope to other couples.
They said in a joint e-mail to ST: 'Not having children may not mean the family is incomplete. It can be just spending time and finding ways to keep a marriage strong.'
The launch event was held at the Singapore Expo, and marks the start of a series of events across the island in June.
The launch event for this year's National Family Festival at the Singapore Expo marks the start of a series of events across the island in June.
PHOTO: LIANHE ZAOBAO
Minister for Social and Family Development Masagos Zulkifli gave a speech at the festival's launch.
He reiterated the government's upcoming plans to support families, such as the increase of shared parental leave from 26 to 30 weeks in April 2026, and more benefits for couples who have two or more children announced in this year's Budget.
He said: 'Family is critical to our journey in our life, and also as a nation.
'…As our society evolves, so do the needs of our families. They change, and therefore, we must ensure that familial support systems remain relevant and robust.'
One family at the event was retired contractor Toh Chee Keong, 57, and housewife Vu Thi Sam, 42 with their six children aged between four and 18.
Mr Toh said having a large family is a joy, but good finances are the most important ingredient in making it work.
He said: 'I'm lucky enough that I can support my family... We have two helpers to do the housework, which really lessens our burden. So we just enjoy watching them and playing with them.'
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