Stephen Fry, 67, shares the secret to marriage with husband Elliott Spencer, 36, and the impact of their 30-year age gap in rare interview with Rylan Clark
Stephen Fry has shared rare comments about his 10-year marriage to Elliott Spencer, as he opened up on his romantic history to Rylan Clark on his new podcast, Rylan: How to Be in Love.
The actor, 67, tied the knot with Elliot, 36, in January 2015, just 10 days after they announced their engagement.
The couple are believed to have met in 2012 after being introduced by mutual friends at a house party, causing sparks to fly and they began dating shortly after.
Despite Elliot being nearly 30-years his junior, Stephen told Rylan about how their age-gap has aided their relationship, as he revealed the secret to a successful marriage.
The comedian began: 'I can tell you how to have a successful relationship with Elliot, but that's probably not very helpful.'
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Stephen Fry has shared rare comments about his 10-year marriage to Elliott Spencer, as he opened up on his romantic history to Rylan Clark on his new podcast (seen together in 2019)
He then went on: 'But I guess it's all the normal human virtues - some of which are forgotten virtues - but one of the most important human virtues, I think, isn't even really considered a virtue.
'But it is one that changes the world. And it's not kindness, which obviously is important, but it's a subset of kindness, perhaps. And it's cheerfulness.'
The presenter explained: 'When you're in the presence of a cheerful person, It makes everything better. They're like their own sunshine. So that's one of the things. If one is down to help the other come up...
'And understand each other's differences as emotional human beings. For example, I had to understand, and he had to understand, that I am extremely energetic and bouncy and chatty in the mornings at breakfast and he is not.
'So I had to find ways of just calming myself and he had to come up a little bit and not be quite so kind of, "will you shut up Stephen!"'
Stephen added that their age gap also meant that Elliot was always introducing him to new things, causing him to develop an unexpected love of wrestling and rap.
He said: 'He teaches me things I just didn't know. He introduced me to Kendrick Lamar, which was a great thing to do because Kendrick Lamar I've decided is a great poetical spirit, a really remarkable figure.
'But that plus, now you're really going to laugh here because I thought, is he insane? He has a great affection for, and I guess you could call it ironic, but it's real - for WWE...'
In a heartwarming insight into their happy marriage, he gushed 'I'm a lucky man' in the caption alongside the black and white photo from their wedding day
Rylan was quick to check if Stephen had developed his own appreciation for the entertainment, asking: 'Are you now a fan of WWE?'
Stephen sheepishly admitted: 'I kind of am yeah, and I just don't know whether I can reveal this extraordinary truth, but I have bought a couple of tickets for WrestleMania in Las Vegas.'
Stephen and Elliot have kept a low profile during their relationship and haven't been pictured together for six years.
But in January, the QI star shared a heartfelt tribute to him on Instagram to mark their 10th wedding anniversary.
In a heartwarming insight into their happy marriage, he gushed 'I'm a lucky man' in the caption alongside the black and white photo from their wedding day.
He wrote: 'Ten happy years to the day since we were joined in marriage. I'm a lucky man.'
Stephen also recalled his first crush as a boy and how it was caught caused him to explore his sexuality for the first time, as well as the impact of living through the AIDS crisis and his self-imposed 15-years of celibacy.
Reflecting on his discovery that he was gay, he said: 'I must have been 14 and he was 13, so he was a year younger than me.
'And I took one look at him and my heart had leapt into my throat. I just didn't know what was going on. I was obsessed.
'I just stared at him and stared at him and then I shook myself and then realised when I went to bed I was thinking about him and then in the morning I woke up, I was still thinking about him and I took another look at him and I was like, "Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh."
'And I took an age to diagnose it to see what it was. It seemed like an illness. But being the kind of person I am and have a literary turn of mind, as it were, I just sort of emptied myself into the libraries to look up the symptoms, if you like, to see that it was love and to see that I was not alone in falling in love in the school.'
Rylan also got candid about his own relationship history, admitting he felt a sense of 'failure' following his 2021 split with ex-husband Dan Neal after six years of marriage.
He said: 'We got married in 2015. That same year, yeah. So it would have been my 10 year anniversary this year.'
Stephen then asked if Rylan felt any kind of responsibility to represent gay marriage, as one of the few LGBTQ+ celebrities.
He asked: 'But did you feel also that - when it broke up and you were divorced – did you feel that there was in some sense you were letting down the idea of gay marriage, because we have a duty to show that our marriages are as robust and strong as any heterosexual?'
Rylan admitted: 'Yeah, there was part of me that just felt like a complete and utter failure. I felt like I'd failed personally, but I felt like I'd found publicly on behalf of - the gays! You know, I'm not, I'm not 'head gay', it's not that.'
Stephen reassured: 'No, you're not, exactly. You're not a poster child for gayness.'
Rylan continued: 'But you do feel like, yeah I'm going to get married, I want to get married, I can get married.
'But when it doesn't work out you don't want people to go, "you see that's why they f****** shouldn't get married".'
Stephen was quick to insist: 'You can get married again if you want…', causing Rylan to hint at his divorce struggles as he quipped: 'Yeah with a prenup this time, I'm not going through that again.'
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