Paradise Logic by Sophie Kemp review – wild, absurd and wickedly funny
Nearly every page in Sophie Kemp's debut is smart, jarring and wickedly funny. Set in Brooklyn in 2019, this wild, absurdist take on the millennial novel tracks the adventures of Reality Kahn, a 23-year-old waterslide commercial actor and zine-maker who determines to become 'the greatest girlfriend of all time', after her drug-dealing sex partner, Emil, casually suggests that she gets herself a man. Prior to that point, Reality had just been living her life, no strings attached. 'Would having a special guy around really make me happier? Was this the life purpose I was looking for?' A boyfriend, she decides, might 'add colour to my life as well as provide intrigue'. And, New York City being 'a place where nefarious individuals got ideas', he could also protect her from 'getting raped so much'.
Reality's quest kicks off with a hunt for 'intel'. Where do guys who make good boyfriends usually spend their time? Farcical as it is, her inquiry touches on that most sobering of cliches about true love: that it is darn hard to find. Emil responds with confusion: 'Where do they hang out? Girl, I think you're sexy as fuck and fun, but for serious, you are on some sort of insane-ass trip these days. They're not a pack of wildebeests in the plains.' Desperate for better advice, Reality turns to Girlfriend Weekly, Kemp's cheeky homage to the time-honoured world of women's magazines. It has all the answers she's looking for, even if they are hilariously fusty and over the top: 'Bring a little charm with you everywhere that you go. For example, when you are at the grocer's, be sure to give a smile and a wink to the dashing gentleman in the porkpie hat. Say: 'Gee whiz, woo-woo, you are a beautiful specimen and I am a virgin.''
Reality goes to the mall; the men there are all short on boyfriend potential. She finally finds it in 26-year-old crack-smoking Ariel, who helps her out of a locked bathroom at a music event (because really, who can resist a lavatorial knight errant?). A doctoral candidate in Assyrian history at NYU who's also in a boyband, 'sad-eyed' Ariel is your quintessential fuckboy: flaky, tactless and commitment-shy, but always up for some kinky fun.
Alas, he is what Reality wants, and she works to win his heart and make their connection official. Her modus operandi? You guessed it: extreme devotion and sexual surrender. 'I'm trying to become a vessel for him,' Reality says, reclaiming the biblical metaphor.
Betraying a naive optimism about the rewards of giving herself over, Reality's posture more worryingly smacks of what Kemp has, in an essay on Trump-era masculinity, described as 'a brand new way to be anti-establishment: to be kind of trad'. Men crave hierarchy, she writes, but so can women. The idea of male control, however dangerous, can be very seductive to those who feel 'exhausted by a certain kind of politics around consent'. Women, Kemp contends, reinforce men's toxic belief in their entitlement through 'the kind of sex they are having, in asking for things that they shouldn't ask for'.
While Ariel is more of a regular jerk than an Andrew Tate, Reality appears more than willing to let him dictate their lovemaking, even as this gradually complicates her ability to freely consent. The sex scenes are as droll as they are provocative, precisely because, along with power, patriarchy and masculinity, they confront the contradictions of female desire.
Kemp's language is profane and outrageously camp, blending punk-infused chutzpah, feminist irony, meme-worthy disclosures and mic drops with sick, unsettling humour. At one point, Reality's acquiescence is delivered in the 'terrible whorish voice of a sexualised child'. Ariel wants anal, and suddenly Reality's on an ecstatic cosmic ride: 'I was on a surfboard. I was wearing a blue dress. I was wearing a motorcycle helmet. It was lap after lap, veering past huge chunks of space debris. It was beautiful. It really was.'
The further we venture into the story, the kookier and more absurd it gets. Reality signs up for a drug trial that promises to transform her into the perfect girlfriend (or an 'ethereal bimbo with no interiority', as Emil sees it). By the novel's close, she finds herself in a surreal place called Mount Nothing, where she meets a crew of other girlfriends (all bizarrely bald), and a talking, shades-wearing garden snake named Ungaro Ulaanbaatar.
Too much? Well, for what it's worth, not everything in this book is meant to make perfect sense ('Exisssstence is meaninglessssssss and random. YOLO,' Ungaro Ulaanbaatar says to Reality). Indeed, if there's anything that Kemp seems to ask of the reader, it is to loosen up and have fun. I did, and I adored this novel: it's a clever and wholly original skewering of the modern dating landscape, our obsession with true love, and the outlandish lengths we'll go to in its pursuit.
Paradise Logic by Sophie Kemp is published by Scribner UK (£16.99). To support the Guardian, order your copy at guardianbookshop.com. Delivery charges may apply.
Try Our AI Features
Explore what Daily8 AI can do for you:
Comments
No comments yet...
Related Articles
NBC News
3 hours ago
- NBC News
Hong Kong opera puts Trump on stage with Mao, Kim and more
HONG KONG — The past few months under President Donald Trump have been nothing if not operatic — all the more so when China gets involved. So why not reimagine it for the stage? 'Trump, The Twins President,' which just wrapped up three days of performances in the Chinese territory of Hong Kong, marries traditional Cantonese opera with a parody of modern political events, mostly involving Trump. Though the opera satirizes a range of political figures from China, the U.S. and elsewhere, the star of the show is Trump, who shimmied across the stage in a blond wig and eyebrows, blue suit and red tie to the delight of sold-out audiences at a 1,000-seat theater at the Xiqu Centre, a performing arts venue for Cantonese opera and Chinese traditional theater. The three-and-a-half-hour show began in 2019 but has been updated to reflect current events, most recently Trump's attempted assassination at a rally in Pennsylvania last summer and his heated Oval Office exchange with Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy in February. The show was peppered with other up-to-the-minute references, including Trump's derision of Canada as the '51st state,' his assault on Harvard and his turbulent relationship with tech billionaire Elon Musk. highly anticipated call with Chinese President Xi Jinping.
Daily Mirror
3 hours ago
- Daily Mirror
Sir Nick Faldo takes swipe at UK while bragging about Donald Trump friendship
Multimillionaire golfer Nick Faldo, who was knighted for services to sport, told how he has no plans to return to Britain after taking a recent stroll down Eton High Street Sir Nick Faldo has criticised the UK using one of the nation's wealthiest high streets to attack his homeland while simultaneously praising life in his pal Donald Trump's America. The multimillionaire golfer, who was knighted for services to sport, told how he has no plans to return to Britain after taking a recent stroll down Eton High Street. 'We walked down Eton High Street because we used to live near there and it's looking a bit rough,' he said. 'You know, things have gone down. The shops are closing, there's boarded up windows and I'm disappointed to see that the country is struggling, to be honest. And, I mean, that's a shame.' The six-time major winner then boasted about his friendship with Trump before praising his adopted America, where he lives with his fourth wife, Lindsay De Marco. The former topless dancer is an ardent fan of the controversial president, often posting her support of him on the couple's Instagram page. When asked about Trump's America, Faldo, 67, told the Telegraph: 'You've got to say the attitude [in the US] is good. It's back to the good old psychology of life. You've got to be seeing good things and saying good things. Self-hypnosis is really powerful, you know?' His gushing praise of Trump's leadership came as America is currently teetering on the edge of recession, where grocery prices are spiralling due to the US leader's unhinged tariffs, and democracy is under siege from the president's attacks. Despite accepting a knighthood and continuing to use the 'Sir' title, Faldo said he has no intention of returning to the UK, choosing instead to spend his time in Montana, where he lives on a farm with his wife. Last year, the couple attended a Trump campaign rally during which the US leader spoke about the golfer while on stage. Addressing supporters in August, he said: "This guy is a major golfer. He is a major friend of mine. One of the best ever. They knighted him in England or the UK. And he just knew how to win. He could take people, he'd play the best players in the world, and they always folded in front of him. In fact, I think I need to bring him into government 'cause we like to get other people to fold. And his nickname is Foldo (sic) because he makes everyone, but his name is Faldo. Nick Faldo and his beautiful wife, Lyndsay. Where is Nick?" Trump then turned to point to the retired golfer who was sitting several rows back from the podium. "That guy can play golf," Trump added. "He's won six majors and many, many tournaments, and he's one of the greatest golfers ever. It's an honour, as a golfer. You are a piece of work. He's a tough cookie, too. You talk about a tough cookie. That's a tough cookie." Now, Faldo has spoken about his friendship with Trump, boasting about their relationship. 'He always calls me Nicky,' the golfer said of the businessman, recalling the frequency of their conversations. 'So when I started TV, out of the blue, a Monday after a tournament, I remember I was down hitting golf balls, and it's Donald, back when he was just a businessman,' he added. ''Nicky,'' Faldo said, impersonating Trump. Nicky, how did he blow that tournament? You wouldn't have done that, Nicky. You'd have done this, you'd have done that, Nicky.' Over ten years, that happened two or three times a year out of the blue.' Faldo revelled in the idea of calling Trump, treating the president as a party trick. 'For fun, I could be anywhere in the world and if somebody was talking about this and that, I'd say: 'I'll call him'. And I always get through. Honestly. One hundred per cent of the time,' he said. He went on to reveal an anecdote about ignoring a phone call from the president during the 2019 Masters, while on live television. 'It's the 2019 Masters. Tiger's just won... one of the ladies from CBS leans over to me and goes, 'I have a call from the president of the United States for you, sir...'' 'I say, 'Oh, tell him to call me on Monday.' She goes, 'no, it's the president of the United States'. It's fine, tell him that I'm busy, I'm on with (sports presenter Jim) Nantz!.' So anyway, about 4pm... my phone rings and I've got the president of the United States on the line. I've got Donald saying, 'Nicky, Nicky, how did he win this? How did he win this? How did he do that?' I go back: 'Do you realise that I'm live on flipping TV. Do you mind?' So my claim to fame is that he called two golfers on that day, and Tiger was second.' Faldo's praise for Trump comes as the president's bizarre tariffs hammer US households and his administration flouts laws and the constitution to impose the US leader's will. His wife has made no secret of her love for the former businessman, often posting on social media her support. Last year, following a failed assassination attempt on Trump, she posted a picture of him as he raised his hand in defiance. She wrote alongside the picture: "This is the only man I want leading our country." Before Joe Biden dropped out of the race, she often criticised the then-US leader. She has long held conservative views. Her fifth of seven husbands was multi-millionaire US businessman Scott Sangalli. As Mrs Sangalli, the couple, who were close to failed Presidential candidate Mitt Romney, used his wealth to support the Republican party while indulging Lindsay in her love of politics. Thirteen years ago, after running for office herself, she won the title of Mrs Conservative US. On winning the title, Lindsay, who is a convicted drug felon, said: "One side or size doesn't fit all, and the liberal agenda isn't for everyone. "The pageant sends out the message to women that being a conservative woman or young lady is a choice like any other. If it's their choice, then they should embrace it, and the Conservative US Pageant is the perfect place to showcase conservative women of all ages and to celebrate conservatism in America."
Evening Standard
4 hours ago
- Evening Standard
Donald Trump says relationship with Elon Musk over as JD Vance brands Space X boss 'so nuclear'
Mr Trump was accompanied by UFC president Dana White and the pair headed to their cage-side seats for UFC 316 to Kid Rock's track American Bad Ass. Mr Trump and Mr White did the same for UFC's card last November at Madison Square Garden - only then they were joined by Mr Musk.
