Fear and loathing in Kuala Lumpur: Manchester United's tour is going well

Yahoo

4 days ago

MALAISE? YEAH
While Manchester United ended the season trophyless and 15th in the Premier League, they did at least get to join their comparatively triumphant Liverpool, Crystal Palace, Tottenham Hotspur and Newcastle counterparts in having an open-top bus parade. Currently serving club-enforced penance for their shambles of a season on a money-spinning post-season tour of Asia, the players – well, four of them at least – were forced to endure the indignity of being paraded through the streets of Kuala Lumpur on a heavily branded giant red doubledecker with 'Glory, Glory, Man United' blaring through its speakers, presumably to try to drum up interest in upwards of 12,000 unsold tickets for their Maybank Challenge Cup match against a scratch Asean All Stars side, scheduled to take place the following day.
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With no obvious route mapped out, the roads resolutely unclosed and ne'er a trophy to show off to the largely indifferent pedestrians they passed, it would be fair to say Matthijs De Ligt, Joshua Zirkzee, Ayden Heaven and Patrick Dorgu looked at a loss to know what exactly to do, much as they have all season. In clips Football Daily has seen, the two Dutchmen at least had the good grace to smile and wave half-heartedly at passing commuters. Their younger teammates wore the thousand-yard stares of young recruits upon whom the realisation has dawned that this wasn't what they signed up for when the United recruiting department pointed a meaty forefinger in their direction and said 'Big Sir Jim wants you!'.
Elsewhere in the city, a raft of their teammates were also performing the role of appointed volunteers, seated behind a long table in a sports retail outlet to meet and greet their sizeable Malaysian fanbase. Not long off a 14-hour flight and having been told to find a new club by his manager, Alejandro Garnacho looked as if he would rather defecate in his own hands and clap than sign shirts or pose for selfies with his adoring public. While he stifled yawns, alongside him his older and wiser skipper, Bruno Fernandes, at least made a genuine effort to play the game.
Which is more than can be said for United's players when they finally got round to lining up against the invitational side assembled to play them at the National Stadium Bukit Jalil. A 72,550-strong crowd, who had not paid good money to watch United lose to the only goal of the game scored by a player from a side that finished mid-table in the Thai top flight, made no secret of their displeasure after seeing United sunk by Maung Maung Ling's strike. The crowd barracked the losers, who looked like they would rather be anywhere else. At least the good news for Fernandes, Garnacho and chums is that they are now somewhere else, almost certainly being forced to jump through similar partnership-friendly hoops in Hong Kong.
'The boos from the fans, maybe it is something we need because every game that we lost in the Premier League they were always there,' sighed Ruben Amorim after a defeat that while entirely inconsequential, has still managed to be source of much mirth for people of a certain age who never tire of seeing United lose. 'We don't have it in us not to choke in every exercise, in every game – that is what happened. We should win these kind of games, no matter what.'
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While the Portuguese's commendable frankness in the face of each new obstacle his team trips over never ceases to be entertaining, it is surely only a matter of time before his brutal honesty when it comes to discussing his own and his team's shortcomings results in him talking himself out of a job.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
'I was sick of getting the ball and going backwards or sideways. I thought when I next get the ball, I'm just going to go [forward] and it worked' – Cole Palmer, in his inimitable style, explains that apparently the way to completely turn European finals on their head with multiple moments of elite quality, is to go forward towards the opposition's goal. Coaches and fellow players, take note! 'If you saw what Cole did today, it was crazy,' elaborated teammate Tosin Adarabioyo. 'He showed bundles of quality to provide both assists. He changed the game, that's what he does.'
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
Your list of TNT lads-and-lasses nicknames (Wednesday's Football Daily) suggests that Owen Hargreaves doesn't have one. Does he want one? How about the Big O? Or the Big OHtm?' – Mike Wilner (please see this link – Football Daily Ed).
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'As a keen photographer I really enjoyed Jonny Weeks' Story of the 2024-2025 Premier League season in 100 photos – some of them clearly reflecting some serious fine art. I was particularly impressed with that shot of Liam Delap's face getting rearranged into a Picasso-inspired Cubist masterpiece by the match ball, and snow on the Anfield pitch channelling Mark Rothko in his little-known green period' – Steve Malone.
Send letters to [e-mail]. Today's prizeless letter o' the day winner is … Steve Malone. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
The latest episode of Football Weekly Extra: Max Rushden is joined by Barry Glendenning, Lars Sivertsen and Mark Langdon to discuss Chelsea winning a thing and preview Saturday's Bigger Cup final.
HEYSEL REMEMBERED
Today marks 40 years since 39 fans tragically lost their life at the Heysel Stadium on 29 May 1985 and Juventus have marked the occasion with a new memorial, named Verso Altrove, adjacent to both their Allianz Stadium and the Juventus Training Centre. Ginkgo Biloba trees have been planted, which Juventus describe as 'a plant that synthesises past and future in its sap, a symbol of resilience and longevity' while a large spiralling walkway has been built for visitors to climb, 'inviting one to look beyond, toward the horizon, beyond the visible, a metaphor for a path of asceticism and approach to heaven'.
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Fresh from Tin Pot celebrations, Chelsea are about to splash £30m on Ipswich's Liam Delap to accompany Nicolas Jackson in the striking department. Meanwhile, Big Website understands that Sporting have told interested clubs – including Arsenal – that Viktor Gyökeres will cost a fee of €80m (£67m).
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Manchester City are set to splash cash, too. And soon, according to chief suit Khaldoon al-Mubarak. 'We'll go about our business, and it will be very clear, very swift,' he roared. 'And our objective is to try to be ready with the new squad for the Club World Cup.' Khaldoon also waved a tearful goodbye to Kevin De Bruyne: 'what Kevin has given to this club, in my view, he is the greatest player to play for this club.'
Leah Williamson says she is 'devastated' by Mary Earps's immediate retirement from international football while the England head coach, Sarina Wiegman, described the news as emotional but refused to be drawn on what conversations she had with the goalkeeper.
The Cristiano Ronaldo saga continues. Will he stay at Al-Nassr? Or will he play at the Club World Cup for another club? 'We are negotiating with Cristiano Ronaldo to renew his contract,' wailed (former Spain international and) Al-Nassr suit Fernando Hierro. 'God willing, we will find a solution.'
After defeat by the Asean All-Stars in Kuala Lumpur on Wednesday deepened the gloom, winger Amad Diallo was caught putting his middle finger up to people outside the team's hotel. 'I have respect for people but not for the one who insults my mum,' Diallo said on his Social Media Disgraces. 'I shouldn't have reacted like that but I don't regret what I did.'
MOVING THE GOALPOSTS
'We work hard and have a plan': Tom Garry introduces you to SFK 2000 Sarajevo, the team who have won their league 23 times in a row.
STILL WANT MORE?
What was behind Chelsea's Tinpot triumph over Betis? The obvious answer, according to Nick Ames, was talent and youth bought and nurtured with the help of a billion pounds.
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Now or never? Inter are ready to seize the moment in Bigger Cup and despite being underdogs against PSG, the Italians believe they have learned from their 2023 final agony. Nicky Bandini has more.
No Sophia Wilson, Trinity Rodman, or Mallory Swanson. Time for Emma Hayes to find some alternatives for the USWNT, writes Megan Swanick.
Coffins outside the stadium once symbolised a downward spiral but under new ownership the Latics are off to Wembley and eyeing an EFL return, writes Will Unwin.
When Xaymaca Awoyungbo's local club teamed up with the William Morris Gallery to produce, for Walthamstow FC, the most beautiful shirt in the country, he had to make a film about it (and write this piece).
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It's the season's end but you all know what that means. Yes, the transfer window is poised to fly open, and as ever Big Website has a transfer interactive for both the women and the men, as well as a club-by-club guide of the transfers from the top five leagues in Europe.
MEMORY LANE
Chelsea's Dennis Wise, Gianfranco Zola and Tore André Flo celebrate with the 1997-98 Cup Winners' Cup trophy. Zola scored the winning goal – a half-volley high into the roof of the net – against VFB Stuttgart 17 seconds after coming off the bench in Stockholm. Of course he did, the little tyke.
OUT OF THE FRYING PAN, INTO THE AIR FRYER