Building a foundation for mindful parenting

Hindustan Times

26-04-2025

When a child is born, society ensures that the mother receives proper nutrition. The Anganwadi system, the Poshan Abhiyan, and various health schemes have worked tirelessly to ensure that the physical development of the child is not compromised. There are iron supplements, protein-rich meals, vitamins, and regular check-ups. But once the child is born, once the vaccines are administered and the weight chart is updated, what about the child's emotional, psychological, and social growth? Where is the road map for 'Parvarish' — for parenting?
This gap between Poshan (nutrition) and Parvarish (upbringing) is glaring. We focus on the physical well-being of the child before and just after birth, but we often forget that a child's mind and emotions grow at an even faster pace than their body. And in those formative first five years, parenting is not just care — it is curriculum.
Let me say it plainly: India needs a blueprint for parenting, just like we have for food, for vaccination, for school curriculums. And this blueprint must start early — very early. We must move beyond 'damage repair' and move towards prevention, maintenance, and mindful nurturing.
Parenting is not a skill we are born with. It is an art, and like any art, it must be learned, practised, and reflected upon. Today, most parenting is based on inherited patterns — how we were raised is often how we end up raising our children. This subconscious replication often includes the flaws, fears, and insecurities of the past, passed on to the next generation. And while love is present in every home, the method of parenting often lacks structure, intention, and awareness.
This is why I believe in the power of mindful parenting — where the parent is present, aware, and intentional in every interaction with their child. This is not about being a perfect parent. No such person exists. This is about striving to understand the needs of your child, not just their behaviour. When a child throws a tantrum, what is the feeling behind it? Are they angry, hurt, tired, or simply unheard?
We must teach parents to respond, not react.
Let me illustrate this with a practical suggestion. Every time a mother visits a paediatrician for a vaccine, can we not hand her a small parenting guide? If we are giving her the schedule for vaccinations and diet plans, can we not also give her the red lines and green lines of parenting? A simple handout: '0–6 months: build bonding,' '6–12 months: encourage exploration,' '1–2 years: model behaviour,' and so on. Imagine the long-term change if we begin here.
Similarly, gynecologists, who are the first point of contact for expecting mothers, must be brought into this vision. Can we build parenting orientation modules during pregnancy itself? We already talk about nutrition, yoga, 'Garbh Sanskar' — can we not talk about discipline without fear, modelling respect, communication, and recognising individuality? These things matter just as much as calcium tablets.
Today, social media has made information available, but it is also overwhelming. Reels can't raise your child. We need structured, science-backed, accessible tools for every parent — rich or poor, urban or rural. Parenting educators must become as common as tuition teachers.
And yes, we need institutional intervention. Just like we have the Right to Education, we need a national conversation on the Right to Parvarish. Parenting must not be left to chance. When 90% of a child's brain development happens before the age of five, how can we afford to 'figure it out as we go'? We need policies, programmes, and people dedicated to the cause of nurturing parents, so they can nurture their children.
On June 1, which is celebrated globally as International Parents Day, let us come together with one mission: From Poshan to Parvarish. Let us host a virtual parenting summit focused entirely on the first five years of life. Let us bring educators, child psychologists, paediatricians, policy makers, and real parents on one platform. Let us co-create a blueprint — a set of minimum parenting essentials for every child, regardless of background.
If we get this right — if we parent well in the first five years — we will need fewer repairs in the next fifty.
Let us begin.