'I don't want a spa day': Why self-care conversations for women need to go beyond bubble baths and quick fixes

Gulf News

08-03-2025

Self-care is often misunderstood as a rare act—something you do when you're finally burnt out, worn down, or feeling overwhelmed. But real self-care is a consistent practice, woven into your everyday life. Pexels.com
Dubai-based Aafreen Jaffery, a sales professional, is a little fed up every time someone tells her to 'do some self-care with hair oils' after she expresses her exhaustion. 'It's always the same suggestion. Go for a spa day. Do your hair, nails, a manicure and pedicure. Yes, that's all very relaxing, but for starters, what does that fix?'
There's a deeper conversation around self-care for women, that we're missing as she says. It's more than just a 'weekend of relaxation' and reclaiming the day. It's about creating a life that you don't need to escape from, adds Gayu Lewis, a Dubai-based integrative nutritionist and holistic health coach.
Lewis continues, 'So many women juggle jobs, families, relationships, and obligations and putting themselves last. We tend to wear exhaustion as a badge of honour, as if busy is the equivalent of valuable. When we get a break, guilt follows. Somewhere along the way, we feel that it is selfish to take care of ourselves, when in reality, it's the only way we can keep showing up for everyone else.'
And that's when burnout hits. 'Burnout doesn't happen overnight'
It doesn't happen overnight. As Lewis says, it sneaks up on you. It starts with the little things, like waking up tired after sleeping all night, needing extra coffee just to get through the day, and forgetting why you went into a room, and tears spiralling out of control. Your energy crashes mid-day, you're snapping at everyone around you and you're tired, no matter how much sleep you get.
Maliha Chatterjee, a Dubai-based physical explains, 'It weakens the immune system, making women more susceptible to infections and illnesses. A study in Psychosomatic Medicine showed that high levels of stress—one of the main contributors to burnout—are associated with lower levels of immune function, particularly in women.'
When women experience chronic stress from burnout, their bodies produce more cortisol, a stress hormone that, over time, suppresses the immune system and leads to a higher likelihood of frequent colds, infections, and even chronic diseases. Furthermore, as Chatterjee explains, research suggests that burnout can cause significant hormonal imbalances. The constant stress associated with burnout increases cortisol levels, which can disrupt the body's normal hormonal regulation. Elevated cortisol can interfere with other key hormones, including those responsible for regulating metabolism, reproductive health, and stress management.
So, what is the solution? As Lewis explains, women need a model that serves first to nurture, heal and give us what will last. 'The future of women's health has to be more about fixing symptoms. It's about prevention, and giving women the tools to care for themselves, before burnout. It's about employers who know a supported woman is more engaged, creative and productive. It's about shifting the culture from 'pushing through' to 'thriving'. Self-care is an ongoing practice, not a one-time event
According to Chatterjee, 'Self-care is often misunderstood as a rare act—something you do when you're finally burnt out, worn down, or feeling overwhelmed. But real self-care is a consistent practice, woven into your everyday life.'
It's about setting boundaries, saying no when you need to, and carving out time to prioritise your own well-being. It's about advocating for your needs, whether that means taking a break, asking for support, or taking a step back from things that drain you.
So, how do you actually start?
Movement as a form of self-care
In a world where many women juggle work, family, and countless other responsibilities, finding time to move your body can be transformative. Physical activity isn't just about staying fit; it's about releasing built-up tension, boosting your mood, and increasing energy levels. Whether it's yoga, dancing, or a quick jog around the block, incorporating movement into your daily routine helps improve mental clarity and overall well-being, explains Chatterjee.
The importance of social connections
Chatterjee explains that self-care isn't a solo journey—your relationships and social connections play a crucial role in your mental and emotional well-being. Surrounding yourself with supportive individuals who uplift you, rather than those who drain your energy or make you feel guilty for setting boundaries, is essential.
'Investing in friendships, spending quality time with loved ones, and nurturing a supportive community are integral aspects of self-care,' she says. 'Meaningful social interactions provide emotional support, help you de-stress, and even challenge your thinking in ways that foster personal growth.' Saying no is a difficult form of self-care
One of the most difficult forms of self-care, especially for women, is learning to say 'no.' It's easy to overextend ourselves, take on too many responsibilities, or say yes out of guilt or fear of disappointing others. But true self-care requires the ability to put yourself first when necessary. Setting healthy boundaries allows you to preserve your energy, reduce stress, and maintain balance in your life. 'Society conditions us to believe a lot of things, for instance, feeling guilty about taking a day off, wanting a break from the household, but people need to understand that you aren't the only one responsible in a household,' says Chatterjee. Rest and sleep are essential
Sleep is often seen as a luxury—something that gets sacrificed for work, social obligations, or screen time. However, rest is one of the most important aspects of self-care. Sleep restores your body and mind, supports cognitive function, and strengthens your immune system. Prioritizing sleep isn't just about being well-rested; it's about acknowledging that your body needs rest to function at its best.
So, while a bubble bath or a spa day can be a delightful way to unwind, self-care is so much more than that. It's a long-term commitment to prioritising your mental, emotional, and physical well-being. It's about setting boundaries, nourishing your body, cultivating meaningful relationships, and embracing rest. Self-care means listening to your inner voice, addressing your mental health, and allowing yourself the space to heal, grow, and thrive. And, you need the support of others around you to foster this sense of well-being, too.
The next time someone mentions self-care, remember: it's not about the occasional indulgence; it's about living a life that nourishes your whole being. True self-care empowers women to be their best selves, not just in moments of rest, but in every aspect of their lives.
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