Looking for better love: I'm a curious, adventurous drummer who is ready to start a family with the right woman
Better Love
Better Love — part of the Star's Toronto the Better project — is a yearlong personal ad series that connects Torontonians looking for love, and offers an alternative to our swiping habit. Singles pen honest, vulnerable descriptions of what and who they're looking for, in a throwback to (photo-free) personal ads of yore. These essays will appear regularly in the Star, and interested parties can reply to an email address — betterlove@thestar.ca — to connect.
About me
I've played drums in bands since high school and toured around North America in my 20s. These days, I enjoy life in the city and spend most weekends checking out shows that are a bit off-the-beaten path. I'm also branching out into composing music for short films. I stay active with skateboarding and yoga, and have recently taken up playing chess, just to see if I can get good at it.
I like to explore obscure corners of the city, and generally blend in wherever I go. Sometimes, I feel like I'm too weird for the normies and too normie for some weirdos. I value a blend of creative personality and logic, since I'm that way myself.
I've lived in a few different cities and only have a couple more continents to visit before crossing all seven off the list. I'm happy to explore and learn about anything and everything, wherever I am. I think this constant curiosity carries over well into relationships. I believe there is beauty everywhere and an open mind often leads to exciting discoveries, with travel or with people.
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I've got a good sense of humour, along with a goofy, adventurous side. I'm compassionate and conscientious: I try to do the right thing, and be generous. I tend to think deeply about everything.
My dating history
I've been selectively dating with long-term intent over the past five years. I've never been married, but I've been in a couple relationships that lasted about a year. I've used my time being single to make peace with myself and my life. I don't have any kids, and I'm ready for a family.
What I'm looking for in a relationship
There's nothing cuter than seeing an old couple that's still sweet to each other after all their years together. That's something to aspire to. I also visited my cousin overseas recently and met her husband for the first time. They were such a good team, supporting each other taking care of their young kids together. I really admired that.
There is a lot of doom and gloom in the world these days, and a lot of people are hesitant to start a family because of this — justifiably so! I see it another way: starting a family is the most important thing I can see myself doing to create the future I wish to see. So many people have sacrificed so much to bring us to where we are today. I want to see how much further we can take it, at least in a cosmic spiritual sense, even though, physically, we all die. We are all the living descendants of survivors of plagues and wars, and I'm excited to see how we will continue to persevere.
My ideal partner is honest, self-aware, and co-operative — willing to work things through. It feels kind of weird to say, but 'quiet' is also a quality that I think would work well for me. I do sometimes bounce off the walls and get downright silly, but most of the time I am a pretty quiet, low-key person., Someone loud with high energy as a baseline would wear me out pretty quickly.
That said, I'd also love someone creative, with a great sense of style.
Deal-breakers include poor hygiene, or being immature, uncommunicative or combative. They shouldn't be dishonest with themselves or others, or unable to confront difficult matters.
Toronto the Better
Looking for better love: I'm a divorced pilot who hates dating apps. I like to talk and, most importantly, I like to listen
Why I'm doing it this way
I yearn for the foundation of having a home and a person to return to. There is a lot of truth in the saying, 'If you want to go fast, go alone. if you want to go far, go together.'
This is an exciting opportunity to cast a wider net for a true partner in life. So, want to go farther … together?
Connect
Want to get in touch with Tony? Email betterlove@thestar.ca to request a connection. (Note: Responses are not guaranteed.)
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