Stop swiping, start swapping

Korea Herald

15-02-2025

In South Korean speed dating, 'the one' could sit down right next to you
Letting love in can be harder than completing a 42-kilometer marathon for some.
That's because fairy tales like Samantha Montgomery and Austin Ames in rom-com movie "A Cinderella Story" rarely ever comes true. Looking for romance at work, school or even developing a romantic relationship with friends is extremely tough. And that gets harder as you get older.
In South Korea, dating doesn't get any better online. That's because dating app users here are often preoccupied with appearances and make a wild number of swipes to find "the one." Even if they are initially attracted by profile photos, developing romantic feelings while meeting face-to-face is another hurdle that needs to be overcome.
Now, South Koreans are turning to the aptly named "rotation sogaeting" in search of love. It is a type of speed dating where an even number of men and women -- from eight to 32 -- gather at a venue, usually a quiet pub. Participants switch seats to engage in brief, timed conversations that typically last about 15 minutes. Each hours-long session is priced between 50,000 won ($34.51) and 70,000 won.
Many find they have a higher chance of meeting their future partner this way, saving time and money, compared to traditional one-on-one sogaeting, which refers to blind dates with people introduced by family members or friends.
On Blind, an anonymous online forum for verified employees, there are posts looking for rotation sogaeting participants after work. According to the official website of Talk Blossom, a company that organizes speed dates, it has organized over 500 speed dates from 2022 to 2024, with more than 6,000 people participating.
Cho Joo-hyun, 33, who recently went on one, pointed out that fast-paced rotation sogaeting sessions enable people to meet multiple potential partners in one evening.
"I've tried meeting people online and gone on numerous one-on-one blind dates, but that did not work because profiles and texts can't always predict real-life attraction, which often leads to disappointing first meetings," the Seoul resident told The Korea Herald.
"But rotation sogaeting sessions have hosts that ease the awkwardness by suggesting (to people) what to ask each other and offer programs that boost love hormones. Also, the participants who came to find true love were decent-looking. I believe the program is attractive enough for singles to try," Cho said.
Switch seats to meet multiple potential partners
Single and ready to mingle, I went to my first rotation sogaeting session, involving four men and four women, in Hapjeong, Seoul, after work one late January day. I hoped to meet my ideal type: a man resembling rapper Beenzino in looks, as well as someone who is caring, funny, humorous, has a stable job and grew up abroad.
While rotation sogaeting programs differ depending on the organizers, mine was a two-hour-long session inspired by the movie "About Time."
Participants adopt the names of actors, rather than using their real names, to keep things mysterious and exciting. For the first part, participants wear blindfolds to get to know the other person through their words, without revealing their age or job. Such details are disclosed in the second part when blindfolds are taken off. At that point, participants then are asked to handwrite a letter to each partner about today's date and ask those they find attractive for a second date.
As the clock struck 8 p.m., the hosts told everyone to cover their eyes. A minute later, the first man -- who nicknamed himself with the name of actor Park Jung-min – sat down to my right. I asked him a string of the usual questions to break the ice: What does he like to do after work? What are his hobbies? But he wasn't easy to talk to and was not an attentive listener. I realized that getting a conversation going with finesse is needed to spark chemistry.
My hopes now dashed somewhat, a man who nicknamed himself after action movie star Ma Dong-seok came over to sit next to me. He had a great voice, and the conversation went well. We had much in common: from working out to having a similar MBTI, or personality type.
When it was time to meet my third potential partner, the hosts switched things up a little. As soon as a guy going by the name of actor Roh Jae-won sat down beside me, participants were told to smell their partners' fragrances by grabbing each other's wrists.
And then came actor Stephen Chow -- my fourth option in this session. He was the first to speak, asking about my hobbies. He was easy to talk to and the conversation never felt awkward after learning we were both avid soccer fans.
The highlight of the session came when taking off our blindfolds -- a moment met either with more anticipation or disappointment upon seeing each other's faces.
I was drawn to Ma Dong-seok, Roh Jae-won and Stephen Chow because -- to be brutally honest -- of the way they looked, but also by our fun chats. All three asked me for a second date, but I'll leave it to your imagination whether I ended up going on a second date with each of them or not.