My daughter and I have the same fight daily about phones. I refuse to give in.'

Daily Telegraph

8 hours ago

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Some parents argue with the kids over messy bedrooms and unfinished homework.
Jade argues over phones.
Almost daily.
But she refuses to back down for one important reason.
Jade says the most common argument being had in her household is about phones. Image: Supplied
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An all-too relatable battle
'Social media impacts their mental health. We have witnessed it first hand. They aren't old enough to digest the information coming through,' Jade told Kidspot.
Recently, the mum of four posted a video to TikTok. It went viral. It was a scenario many parents would recognise. An argument with her 12-year-old daughter about why she can't have a phone.
'We have explained our reason and have gotten to a point now that it's a 'because' answer. They haven't gotten an answer they want so they keep asking,' she said.
In the clip, the pre-teen pleaded her case. But Jade held her ground.
For one simple reason: she doesn't want history to repeat.
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"Worst decision we ever made"
The mother had allowed her eldest daughter, 13, to have a phone last year. At the time, the teen had been training for ice skating and would spend hours at the rink.
While it gave her the ability to contact her parents and get home safely, it also opened the door to a social media spiral.
'It was the worst decision we ever made,' the mum admits.
'Recently we had to remove the phone as her mental health was deteriorating. There was bullying and our daughter wasn't happy. Since then we have slowly gotten our daughter back.'
The first time around, they caved.
'Second time around we don't care. We want a happy, good mental health child over a friend,' Jade explains.
'Being a parent is making those hard decisions and staying strong. Even when it's a lot easier to just give in."
Jade says she needs to cruel to be kind when it comes to her kids having phones. Image: Supplied.
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That being said, Jade does recognise there will come a time when she has to reassess her stance - and she has a plan.
'First it will be a brick phone. Text messages will be monitored. You have to monitor. Kids can be so mean, and bullying is so easy. It can be relentless. So privacy unfortunately can't be given at this prime age,' she explained.
She believes a phone isn't something to be handed over just because it's a "want".
'The privilege needs to be earned and that might be different for each kid. Yes, that could be unfair, but I refuse to lose a child to suicide due to a phone,' she said.
In fact, as a result of her viral TikTok, she's received a surprising, and sobering, response that only reaffirms her decision.
'I had so many kids message privately from that video saying they wished their parents didn't say yes. They have an eating disorder or depression or bullying,' she said.
'It's a hard fight right now, but it's worth my child's safety and mental health.'
Originally published as 'My daughter and I have the same fight daily. But it's all to keep her safe'