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Telegraph
2 hours ago
- Telegraph
He wants Disney World, I want the Maldives: The couples who can't agree over holidays
Few things test a couple's patience like planning a holiday together. The old saying 'I need a holiday to recover from the holiday' hits especially hard when two very different travel styles collide. The odds of both partners wanting to do the same things, at the same pace – while having shared the booking admin and agreed on a budget – are slimmer than finding an August discount on the Riviera. Whether you're keen to catch a clifftop sunrise while your other half lounges by the pool, or you're stuck wrangling bookings while they idly browse for new swimwear, joint holidays can be... challenging. James Bore, 42, a digital security expert from Surrey, and his wife Nikki, a translator, have been married for eight years. 'We realised early on that we have very different travel styles,' he says. 'Nikki likes scheduled history tours. I prefer to wander and eat local food. In Rome, I was sick of white marble after an hour – Nikki was still dragging me around ruins on the last day.' Over time, they have learnt to compromise. 'She'll go off to look at things while I read in a café,' he says. 'Plus, her itineraries have gradually become more relaxed, which means I'm more willing to visit historic sites – though probably not white marble again.' Having autonomy on holiday is healthy, says couples counsellor Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar of Red Kite Therapy. 'You can co-create a rhythm of alternate days, split mornings and afternoons, or schedule independent time. The goal isn't the perfect itinerary,' she says. 'It's re-connecting afterwards – which is crucial.' 'I had to pay an extra £300 to rebook' But while the holiday schedule might be up for negotiation, it's often the booking process that becomes a couple's undoing – because when something goes wrong, there's only ever one person to blame. (And somehow, it's never the one who sat watching TV while their spouse wrestled with online forms and passport renewals.) 'I protest that I've been given the role of family PA,' says Sally Baker, a psychotherapist married to Arnold Dobbs, an artist. 'I asked my husband to sit with me while I booked [the] Eurostar and a hotel, but he said, 'You're fine – you do this all the time.' I was hugely busy at work and trying to book in a hurry,' she explains. 'I managed to book the train for the wrong weekend and had to pay another £300 to rebook. I just wish he'd share the responsibility more with me.' Solo bookers aren't alone. According to a survey by travel company more than half of Britons wouldn't trust their partner to plan a holiday. Women were most concerned that their other half would choose an 'undesirable location' or 'sub-standard' accommodation. Among those who had taken a couple's break, 81 per cent said the trip had been booked by the woman. 'I wouldn't ask him to book a whole holiday – I don't think he'd know where to start,' says writer Rosie Mullender of her husband. 'I can barely muster the enthusiasm to do the hours of research myself, even when I'm the one who wants to go away. I don't think he'd ever get around to it, especially when it's something he's not that keen on in the first place.' Early mornings vs lying in That's not the case for Claire Bartlett, 40, a business coaching strategist, and her husband Matthew, an insurance underwriter, also 40, from Birmingham. 'We've always had a bit of a holiday clash,' Claire admits. 'I get up early to watch the sunrise – I find it so peaceful and calming. But he'll say, 'I've had to get up for work all year; I'm lying in.' In the early days, I'd be shouting, 'Get up!' But now I just leave him to it.' Before they go away, Claire says, 'we try to agree how many days of the holiday we'll spend exploring. We head to Malta every year for some winter sun, and in summer we love going to Disney in Orlando.' That's where the problems begin. 'Matt wants full days in the parks, and by then I'm exhausted – I just want to relax. My dream holiday would be somewhere like the Maldives, pure relaxation,' she says. 'I don't like the beach, so I'd be by the pool the whole time, completely switching off.' By contrast, 'Matt's dream would be two weeks in Orlando with an absolutely packed schedule. When we were last there, there were a couple of days when I thought, 'You're pushing me too far now – I'm going to sit down.'' Thankfully, before the battle of Sleeping Beauty Castle escalated, their daughter Olivia, 10, found a solution. 'Now, Matt has someone to spend extra time on rides with, and I can head back to the pool early,' says Claire. When you're planning a holiday and know you won't want to follow the same schedule, start with open, non-judgmental conversations, says Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar. 'Each person can share their ideal day – not to convince the other, but to understand. Use statements like, 'I feel...' or 'What I need to recharge is...'' It's also helpful, she adds, to 'name your non-negotiables and your flexibility. Maybe the pool is essential for one of you, and the other needs a sunrise walk – both can happen, if they're spoken about early.' For some couples, the friction isn't about activities but accommodation standards. 'I told my husband not to unpack' 'My husband teases me every time we settle into a hotel room – he jokingly asks if it's OK to unpack,' says Lydia Berman, a brand consultant from Hemel Hempstead. 'I'm notorious for finding an issue.' Once, she recalls, 'I was heavily pregnant and the hotel gave us a room with no windows that opened. It was during a heatwave and they only had a small fan. I was melting and asked for another room. The first they gave us, someone was still sleeping in it! The second had no beds… the third had another problem, and the fourth was finally okay.' After their baby arrived, Lydia remembers a trip to Crete: 'We stayed two weeks in a room with no bath and nowhere to put a cot – despite the booking info being clear. The first room they offered had an overflowing toilet. They admitted the fault, so we ended up with an upgrade.' More recently, she says, 'we were in Mexico and the room smelled damp, which triggered my asthma. I was mortified to tell my husband not to unpack as I went to reception to complain.' Despite her success moving rooms, she admits, 'I think my husband would rather we just stayed quiet!' But differing needs like these can be managed, says couples counsellor Yasmin Shaheen-Zaffar. 'Make a plan for if you fall out – which is likely, given so many new variables,' she advises. 'How will you repair things without escalating the tension? Having a clear plan stops disagreements from spiralling, so you can both enjoy the rest of the holiday.'
Telegraph
5 hours ago
- Telegraph
Why a cruise is the best way to see off-the-beaten-path Japan
When I told friends I was going on a cruise in Japan, the response was mostly bemusement. 'Isn't it better to take the train?' they'd ask. It's a fair question. Japan's high-speed rail network is one of the best in the world, and the journey I'd be making – from Tokyo to Kagoshima in Kyushu, the country's most southerly island – takes just under seven hours. The cruise ship would take three days. But the point here is to travel slowly, experiencing towns and destinations off the well-trodden tourist trail, and to enjoy the ship in between. Princess Cruises' Diamond Princess was the vessel I boarded in Tokyo. Built in Japan specifically for cruises around the country, it boasts a traditional izumi Japanese baths, a high-grade sushi restaurant (where Japanese chefs carve up fresh, local fish and seafood), and even Tai Chi classes held daily on the pool deck. I arrived in Tokyo early, allowing myself time to explore this frenetic city at my own pace, wandering amongst its ultra-modern high rises and winding narrow back streets stuffed with hole-in-the-wall izakaya bars, and spending long lazy lunches at tiny ramen restaurants – where I was just one of a handful of diners seated at a counter – watching the chef working a cauldron of steaming hand-pulled noodles. On my final afternoon, I headed to Tokyo's Meiji Jingu Shrine to pull my ' omikuji ', or oracle, ahead of my voyage. These fortunes – which usually contain words of affirmation, thoughts about the world and ethical musings – come in the form of ' waka ' (traditional Japanese poems of 31 syllables), of which Emperor Meiji and Empress Shoken (to whom the shrine is dedicated) were said to be prolific composers. To receive one, visitors shake a hexagonal box with a small hole until a single, numbered chopstick falls out. Each number corresponds to a numbered wooden box, and inside it is a waka, written on a thin strip of paper. It is hoped that the poem's message, based on the traditional Shinto ethics, will have particular meaning for the reader. I was pleased to see my oracle telling of success in health, wealth, love and family matters – and especially delighted when it declared that my travels would be 'pleasing'. A promising omen. The following day – waka safely tucked into my luggage – I boarded the ship and we headed for Miyazaki, Japan's warmest city. This was immediately evident in the change in the landscape: where Gingko, maple and candyfloss-pink puffballs of early cherry blossom had characterised the scene in Tokyo, here these were supplanted by palm trees, tangled jungle greenery and beaches – home to some of the best for surfing in all of Japan. We stopped at a viewpoint and, as I gazed out across the lush scenery, a peregrine falcon suddenly swooped menacingly towards me, its coal-black eyes fixed on the packet of wagyu-flavoured crisps in my hands. I lurched backwards but, at the last minute, it peeled away from me, talons retracted. A lucky escape, perhaps – or was my oracle looking out for me? From there, we made for Aoshima, a diminutive island with a circumference of just 1.5km, connected to the mainland by a slender footbridge and surrounded by curious rock formations known as 'the Devil's Washboard'. It was all too easy to imagine a giant dragging its claws through the ebony mudstone and watching as it hardened into lines. The bewitching Aoshima Shrine sits at the centre of the island, surrounded by more than 400 species of subtropical plants. At the temple's oracle zone, I tossed a clay disk into a ring and it shattered, giving me – the oracle there claimed – another dose of Japanese luck. Next was Kagoshima, known as the 'Naples of the Orient' due to its coastal location and active volcano, Sakura Jima, which puffs clouds of ash (grey safe; white danger) into the bay. We visited the popular Ibusuki spa resort on the outskirts of the city, where I was buried up to my neck in black volcanic sand, then feasted on steaming bowls of sabi-sabi hot pot. That afternoon, we travelled inland to the Chiran Samurai Houses, a village of well-preserved Samurai dwellings – some still inhabited by descendants of the Shimazu samurai. Their clan had once ruled the area, until – during the Meiji Restoration of 1868 – Kagoshima's Satsuma samurai led a battle that toppled the Shogun (local feudal commander) and restored power to the Emperor. But it was our arrival in Nagasaki which proved the most poignant. As the sun rose over the East China Sea, the city's iconic Hirado O-hashi suspension bridge (tomato red, often likened to San Francisco's Golden Gate) appeared to part the low-lying clouds. Our first stop was the Atomic Bomb Museum, which displays a sobering and comprehensive collection that recounts the devastation inflicted on the city and its residents in 1945. More moving still is the peace memorial, located in a tranquil park nearby. With much to process, we broke for lunch, feasting on delicate sashimi and bento served in beautiful lacquerware boxes decorated with traditional Maki-e patterns, a 1,200-year-old technique of painting motifs onto lacquer and sprinkling gold powder before the material hardens. But there is far more to Nagasaki than its tragedy – and our afternoon was dedicated to exploring other aspects of its fascinating past. A notable highlight was the city's Dejima district, a former island built first to contain Portuguese missionaries, and later Dutch traders, to keep them away from the city's Japanese population during Japan's two centuries of isolation. The reconstructed residences show how life was for the only Westerners permitted in the country during that time. On the last day of the cruise – bound for Tokyo once more – I stood on the deck of Diamond Princess, watching southern Japan's craggy mountains melting into the horizon. I looked again at my waka. 'Your request will be granted.' It read. 'The patient will get well. Building a new house will be well. Marriage of any kind and a new employment are both well.' The waka was as good as its word. That week, I returned home to find a job offer awaiting me, our application for a loft extension approved, and news that a family member, who had been waiting on hospital test results, had been declared healthy. Suffice to say, the Shinto oracles had worked their magic. Essentials Emilee Tombs was a guest of Princess Cruises, which offers the 10-night Japan Explorer sailing from £979 per person (based on two sharing an inside stateroom) or £2,219 per person (based on two sharing a balcony stateroom). Departs February 24, 2026.
The Sun
5 hours ago
- The Sun
Holiday ATM warning that could leave holidaymakers without cash this summer
HOLIDAYMAKERS might end up without cash this summer if they are not aware of this banking feature. Many travellers choose to withdraw cash at the ATM when they are abroad. 1 However many could be unaware that there is a limit to how much you can take out every day The amount can vary so it is worth checking with your provider ahead of your travels to avoid being caught short. Below we share how much money each high street bank lets you withdraw each day. BARCLAYS The bank of over 20 million Brits lets customers withdraw up to £300 per day when abroad. This rises to £1000 for those with a premier account. Barclays said customers have amended their cash limits in their Barclays app then these will apply when abroad as well. That means if you set your withdrawal limit to £200, you will only be able to take this much out when you are abroad. You will also be charged a 2.99% fee for withdrawing cash abroad with your Barclays debit card. That means you would be charged an extra £2.99 for withdrawing £100 abroad. The fee will also apply if you pay using your debit card. Lloyds Lloyds said customers can withdraw up to £800 per day when abroad. However, it warned the amount you can take out may vary depending on which ATM you choose to withdraw cash from. Lloyds customers are also charged a 2.99% fee for using their card abroad. But Club Lloyds members have recently had this fee waived as part of changes to the scheme. It now costs £5 per month to have a Club Lloyds account after the price was hiked from £3. Halifax Halifax is a subsidiary of Lloyds and also has a £800 maximum withdrawal fee. Customers are also charged a 2.99% fee for using their card abroad. But from August 1, Halifax Rewards customers will have this charge removed. It comes as part of a refresh of the banking offer, which will see new features added and some taken away. SANTANDER The high street bank said the highest amount that customers can withdraw abroad is £300. The same rate applies to customers withdrawing cash in the UK. This applies to Santander customers using the Edge, Edge Up and Everyday current account. However customers with a Private Current Account, which has a £5 monthly fee, the daily withdrawal limit can be up to £1,500. Santander warned this may vary depending on the ATM. NATWEST NatWest has over 19 million users across the UK, making it another popular bank for customers. How much you can withdraw from an ATM when abroad depends on what type of account you have. For example, customers with a student, graduate savings and teen accounts have their limit set at £250 per day. This increases to £300 for those with premium accounts such as NatWest Silver of Platinum, which offers rewards and travel insurance. The bank also charges customers a 2.75% fee to use their debit card abroad. NATIONWIDE The bank, which has 17 million customers, said current account holders can withdraw up to £500 per day at an ATM abroad. However, the bank warned overseas banks may put higher limits on transactions. For safety purposes and customers may find they are only able to withdraw a sterling equivalent of £135 to £150 per transaction. If customers are affected by this, they can make further withdrawals on the same day up to the accounts withdrawal limit. Customers may be charged for their transactions. Nationwide customers are charged a 2.75% fee to use their debit card abroad. BEWARE OF THIS SIMPLE MISTAKE If you are travelling abroad this summer you should also be aware of this easy ATM mistake that could cost you. Cash machines will usually give you the option to pay in the local currency or in pounds. It may seem like the obvious option to pay in pounds, as it's more familiar and the currency linked to your card. However, by choosing this option you could end up paying more for the cash coming out of the ATM or for the goods you're paying for at the till. That is because the overseas bank will do the conversion to pounds and the rates are unfavourable. However, if you choose to pay in the local currency your card will instead do the conversion which is usually much more favourable. So if you are keen to save cash when abroad, you should opt to pay in the local currency and not pounds. Are there other options to for spending abroad? There are several specialist cards that can give you a great exchange rate. These cards include travel credit cards and pre-paid cards which can let you pay abroad without fees or at a set exchange rate. Senior Consumer Reporter Olivia Marshall explains all the options. Travel credit cards: Travel credit cards allow you to spend money abroad without being hit by any fees or hidden charges. But, they may still charge you for taking cash out. We recommend the Halifax's Clarity Card as it won't charge you for using it abroad, nor are there any fees for withdrawing cash. But you will be charged interest if you don't repay your balance in full at a rate of 19.9 per cent. And you will be charged interest on cash withdrawals until your balance is paid off too, at a rate of between 19.9 and 27.95 per cent depending on your credit score. In other words, just because you are using plastic abroad doesn't mean you don't have to pay these credit cards off like you normally would. Always pay off your balance before the end of the month with these cards to make sure that any money you saved isn't wiped away by paying interest. For more on travel credit cards you can read our guide here. Pre-paid cards: An alternative to carrying cash around is to get a pre-paid card. These cards allow you to put a set amount of cash on the card at a fixed exchange rate. So if the rate is good at the moment, you can put money on your card and it will stay that rate when you are on holiday. Just keep in mind that these cards can sometimes have hidden costs and charges so be sure to read the small print.
