‘Our family is no threat to another family': first same-sex couple to marry in Ireland say marriage equality ‘isn't finished'
Cormac Gollogly and Richard Dowling wed on November 17th, 2015, making them the
first same-sex couple to legally marry
in Ireland. They recently celebrated their daughter's first birthday, having fulfilled their long-time dream of starting a family.
Ten years ago today Gollogly and Dowling walked down the streets of Dublin, hand in hand, knowing they were now living in the first country to
approve same-sex marriage by popular vote.
'We didn't feel uncomfortable for once in public being affectionate with one another. We didn't have to hide it and it was celebrated that day,' says Dowling, remembering the joy they felt on that day which he describes as 'like Italia '90 for the gays'.
'Marriage equality isn't finished for us,' says Gollogly, a decade later. Speaking about their journey towards parenthood, Gollogly and Dowling identify some of the challenges faced by Irish couples 'both gay and straight' who want to have children.
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'Surrogacy and new modern forms of having families are a part of Irish society and all of us are united in needing to meet those needs for the children,' says Dowling. 'The best needs of the child is sacrosanct and really important. Our family is no threat to another family.'
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Not long after the night they first met in The George pub, 22 years ago, the couple discussed having children.
'We were about a month together, in the first flights of love and Cormac turned to me and said 'The greatest thanks we can give the universe for the love we share is to have a child and pass that on'. So we always wanted to have a child.
'It took time to get there. We went to the US and did surrogacy in America. We had a very positive experience, thankfully, during the Biden administration.'
Their daughter, Kate Rose Dowling Gollogly, is now 17 months old. She is named after her grandmothers: Gollogly's mother Rosemary and Dowling's mother Kate. They live together in a south Dublin suburb, Gollogly working as a lawyer and Dowling in finance.
'Obviously one of us isn't recognised as a parent. The surrogate is essentially Kate's mother on her birth cert,' says Dowling, something they both want to see Irish legislation 'catch up with'.
'In America it's all very clear,' adds Gollogly. 'It's Ireland that has to catch up with what is the legal reality for where Kate is born and where this all happened. The majority of surrogacy families are straight families and where it might be seen by some as a gay issue, we're in the minority,' Gollogly adds.
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They point to Katherine Zappone and Ann Louise Gilligan's State case for marriage equality – the legal battle for their Canadian marriage to be recognised in Ireland was a significant catalyst for the marriage equality campaign here. 'That was their point: that Ireland needs to catch up legally with the rest of the world.'
As well as advocating for LGBTQ+ parental rights, Gollogly and Dowling express concern for the 'intolerance and hate' now directed at transgender people.
'I feel there's a whole lift-and-drop of that kind of intolerance and hate in some ways on to the trans community,' says Dowling, pointing to the recent
UK court ruling on gender recognition
.
'It's very sad to see it. It's an easy poke at something that they don't want to understand or they don't want to try to understand ... It's a backdoor into discrimination again. It was unnecessary, in my opinion.
'The fight doesn't stop. People need to remember that we need to be visible and we need to be out there marching.'
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