Where Eagles dare
THE FINAL FOUR
With all due respect to the Full Members Cup and the Specsavers Surrey Senior Cup (current holders: South Park Reigate) Crystal Palace have never won a major trophy. While it's a state of affairs some trophy-obsessed fans of more elite clubs would argue renders Palace's 164-year existence a complete exercise in futility, the team from Selhurst Park have contested two FA Cup finals, only to come up short against Manchester United on both occasions. The most recent was nine years ago in a Wembley showpiece largely remembered for the losing manager's touchline body-popping and the winning one being handed his P45 before his captain was presented with the trophy. And to think some people say the famous old competition has lost its magic, eh?
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After their team's 2-2 draw with Arsenal at the Emirates in Wednesday night's snappily titled Don't Get Knacked Because We All Have Bigger Fish To Fry derby, Palace fans are now free to start bricking themselves about the FA Cup semi against Aston Villa, a team whose most recent taste of major trophy success came 29 years ago in the Coca-Cola Cup. Before a match that both teams will consider eminently winnable, the atmosphere at Wembley come kick-off time on Saturday afternoon ought to be buoyant but will in truth be fraught by nerves, crippling anxiety and downright terror throughout the stands. 'We're very excited,' purred Palace manager Oliver Glasner after seeing his side use up two of their best goals of the season in an inconsequential draw. 'I think everyone who is connected with Palace is very excited, but I think on the other side, it's also important to stay calm.' To which the only obvious rejoinder is: 'Good luck with that, Oliver.'
Following Saturday's semi-final, Wembley Way will be rebranded in the colours of Nottingham Forest and Manchester City, two clubs whose major trophy droughts date back 35 years and 11 months, respectively. Following an unexpectedly disastrous Premier League campaign in which they currently sit one point ahead of a Forest side who are having an unexpectedly brilliant one, City will go into their seventh semi-final under Pep Guardiola as the bookies' favourites, with most football romantics aside from their own fans (and those of Derby County, Leicester City and Notts County) fervently hoping they lose.
QUOTE OF THE DAY
'He had to lock himself in the changing room, fearing for his life. We've had a referee threatened to be stabbed by a parent; he said if he gave another foul against his son he would stab him in the car park' – Ian Coates, general manager of the Northumberland Football League, on the threats facing officials in the UK grassroots game, featured in this long read that's worth your time.
FOOTBALL DAILY LETTERS
If we're talking best leagues in the world (yesterday's Football Daily), allow me to nominate the North West Counties League Premier Division in the ninth tier. Ramsbottom United amassed 97 points and only finished third; eventual winners and my club Bury finished with a whopping 109. And we still needed a result on the final day to see off Merseyside outfit Lower Breck, with 8,700 people turning up at Gigg Lane to witness it, breaking the league's attendance record by almost 3,000. Among that crowd was myself and my five-year-old son, who was born two weeks after we were expelled from the Football League. Unfortunately he now thinks pitch invasions are a regular occurrence. Come to think of it, having nominated it for best league in the world, I hope we never darken its door again' – Adrian Foster.
Your mention of the 'El Pastyco' derby between Truro and Torquay (yesterday's Football Daily) had me reeling in horror – surely only Cornwall produces authentic pasties? Imagine my surprise when, after consulting the local source of all tasty pastry wisdom, the Coast and Country Cottages blog, it turns out Devon has its very own: 'One easy way to detect [it] is that the Devon pasty has a top-crimp and is oval in shape, whereas the Cornish pasty is semi-circular and side-crimped along the curve.' I just hope none of the teams are sponsored by Greggs' – Steve Malone.
Given its similarity to the National League South promotion final trophy, maybe the FA Cup could be brought out of storage on Saturday to save the helicopter some mileage?' – Jim Hearson.
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Send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today's letter o' the day winner is … Adrian Foster, who wins a copy of The Scouting Game, by Chris Robinson and courtesy of Pitch Publishing. Visit their bookshop here. Terms and conditions for our competitions can be viewed here.
RECOMMENDED LISTENING
Get your ears around the latest edition of Football Weekly Extra.
THE PARTY'S OVER
After 13 years, 198 goals, two promotions, two relegations, an FA Cup and the most incredible league title of all time, Jamie Vardy has called time on his Leicester City career in typically straightforward fashion. Blue hoodie, blue curtain, Premier League trophy, let's get on with it. 'I have been here so long that I truly thought it would never end,' Vardy cooed. 'Leicester City has been my second home, my extended family, my life for 13 years.' Look, we all know the story. Former part-time non-league player, signed for £1m from Fleetwood (then a Conference side); dug Leicester out of near-certain relegation, became the poster boy for their underdog title success, and had a big old party in his kitchen. Not to mention a curtailed England career, Wagatha Christie, copious cans of energy drink, some regrettable off-field moments and a gift for winding up opposition fans. Vardy signs off after what he has called 'a sh1tshow' of a season, having earned a place in the Premier League's top 15 all-time scorers. It's worth remembering just how good a footballer Vardy was at his peak – a deadly mixture of lightning pace, clinical finishing and unshakeable self-belief. His unsurpassed 11-game scoring run in the title season, the golden boot in 2019-20, and a frankly ridiculous collection of goals that bloodied the nose of the so-called 'big six'. Vardy isn't retiring, and might fancy a couple of seasons in the sun – but Leicester are the only Football League club he's played for, and their fates still seem intertwined. What price for Vardy to pop back up in the Foxes dugout one day, crack open a Carabao and resume the festivities?
NEWS, BITS AND BOBS
Northern Irish club Glentoran are investigating footage that is said to show one of their players attending a dissident republican rally in Derry. The images allegedly show defender Patrick McClean among a crowd at an Easter Monday parade which has been linked to the New IRA.
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Chelsea are one step closer to retaining their WSL title, swatting aside Crystal Palace 4-0 to go six points clear with three games left. 'Everything is possible. I will only relax when it is mathematically done,' declared boss Sonia Bompastor.
Eddie Howe is back at the Newcastle coal face after his spell in hospital with pneumonia. They host Ipswich on Saturday.
Transfer news: West Ham may cash in on Muhammed Kudus, while Chelsea look to be heading the race for Bournemouth defender Dean Huijsen.
Aston Villa are planning to expand the capacity of their famous old ground to more than 50,000 within two years. 'A bigger, better North Stand will not only allow many more Villans to see their team in person, improving matchday experience, but will also dramatically improve the club's ability to invest and compete in the long term,' roared chairman Nassef Sawiris.
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Newport County boss Nelson Jardim has done one with two games to go. 'His main goal was to keep the club in League Two during a season of transition so that we can start building for the future,' tooted chair Huw Jenkins. 'It took us longer than we probably wanted, but he feels that with the job completed then it was time for him to look for a new challenge.'
The new World Sevens Football event has got Manchester United's name all over it.
And former USA USA USA men's manager Bruce Arena is less than impressed by the hire of Mauricio Pochettino. 'If you look at every national team in the world, the coach is usually a domestic coach,' he parped as Thomas Tuchel and co raised an eyebrow in the Ancelotti style. 'And I think when you have coaches that don't know our culture, our players, our environment, it's hard.'
'TRY THE VEAL'
'I have been trying to improve my sleep but it doesn't happen overnight' – Brighton boss and accidental standup wannabe Fabian Hürzeler delivers a zinger in this chinwag with GQ.
MOVING THE GOALPOSTS
How do you scout for scouts? Tom Garry talks to Southampton Women's recruitment manager about their groundbreaking scheme to find the next generation in the latest extract from our sister newsletter.
STILL WANT MORE?
Gary Lineker's critics have got it wrong: it's reasonable to talk about more than sport, writes Max Rushden.
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'European results tell only part of a much bleaker story, which can be summed up in four words: French football is broke.' Philippe Auclair explains why.
Bah gawd, King Schiavone, that's Tony Khan's music.
Leander Schaerlaeckens on why Kevin De Bruyne would be great for MLS.
And Steven Pye turns the clock back to 1985 for a look back at Everton v Bayern Munich: 40 years since the greatest night at Goodison.
MEMORY LANE
It's the London Marathon on Sunday, so here's a look back to the 2004 edition, when the former England manager Graham Taylor completed the race on a damp day in the capital. Small Talk caught up with him before the run to discuss carol singing with Elton John, his favourite biscuit and more.
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