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Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
At 41, I found out I was the child of a sperm donor, not my dad
All names have been changed I have a vivid memory of myself at eight, sitting on the riverbank and fishing with my dad. It's a moment that always made me feel safe – the security that comes from being with a parent who loved you and made you who you are. But last year I stared at an email from a stranger, read the words 'sperm donor', and that memory, along with so many others, shattered. If what she had written was true, then he wasn't my biological father at all. At 41, the foundation of my world seemed to crumble away. I had always idolised my dad, an engineer who taught me how to canoe and camp. I knew he spoilt me more than my younger brother, Adam, and sister, Sophie, but I ignored their teasing that I was a 'daddy's girl'. I wore the label with pride. My relationship with Mum was more complicated. I never felt her unconditional love, and after their acrimonious divorce when I was 17, her attempt to forbid me to see Dad hurt. I ignored her and she was furious, a pattern that played out for years. Unlike my siblings, who could see Mum without incident, every conversation we had ended in an argument. Still, I couldn't bear to cut ties completely. Even at 26, married and a mother myself, we were never far from a row. One day, as she criticised Dad and I defended him, she snapped, 'He's not your dad anyway!' I knew it wasn't true but was appalled at the lengths she'd go to hurt me. He was my dad, and I'd never abandon him. When I lost him to cancer five years later, I was devastated. So, it was strange to be sitting with Mum at dinner in 2024, after years of sporadic contact. Stranger yet, we were smiling and laughing rather than fighting. Then she said, 'Do you remember our argument years ago, when I said that Dad wasn't your dad? Well, we used a sperm donor to have you.' I sat frozen, looking in shock as she continued, 'I just thought that you should know.' Struggling to breathe, it was impossible to process what I was hearing. How their GP had recommended sperm donation after they had struggled for years to conceive. That Adam and Sophie had then been conceived naturally, making them my half-siblings. Surely, it's all lies, I thought for the 100th time. I couldn't bear to contemplate what it meant if it wasn't. I found the Donor Conceived UK (DCUK) Facebook group, and read about those who had discovered, just as I had, that they had been lied to. Many called that moment an NPE or 'non-parental event'. Desperate for more information, I turned to Mum, who seemed annoyed at my persistence. She'd told me the truth, she replied, why didn't I just leave it now? But that was impossible. I bought a DNA test, desperately hoping it would lead me to someone who could tell me more. As the weeks ticked painfully by, I spoke to my siblings, who, to my shock, didn't think Mum's claims were a big deal. I should have been happy their love for me remained unchanged. Instead, I felt even more alone. The quiet times were the worst, when my questions came unbidden and refused to leave. Did it matter if Dad and I hadn't been connected by blood? Was my conception the reason he doted on me more than Sophie and Adam, his attempt to compensate somehow? I kept running through my memories, looking for clues. It was exhausting and got me no closer to answers. I started to feel like I was losing my mind. Five endless weeks later, I was staring at my test results, the page linking me to any other users who shared my DNA. Right at the top, with the highest percentage match, was the name Joanne. Without even thinking I clicked the message button and began typing. 'Hi, I've just done this DNA test and see we have a high match. I'm just wondering how we're connected?' Before I could even think, the reply came. 'You probably want to speak to your parents about this. But the reason we're connected is because they would have used a sperm donor.' Two thoughts hit me at once. Mum had been telling the truth, and this was my sister. Joanne was farther advanced in her search to find out the truth about her parentage – and so it fell to her to explain the situation whenever a new half-sibling found their way to the same DNA site and got tested. Our messages flew back and forth, each one revealing a new shocking piece of information. There were four more siblings who knew they had been conceived through the same donor. We all had an aunt called Hannah, who Joanne had also found through the same DNA testing site. She had been given permission to share medical information and some personal details about her brother Robert, our donor. Joanne even sent me Hannah's email and a link to some info about Robert, although at this stage Hannah is not allowed to share his personal contact details. One click, and there was my biological father's face. Overwhelmed with everything I'd discovered, I closed the page. For my own sanity I needed to catch my breath. I should have been pleased. The DCUK support group was full of stories of people searching for years without any answers, or whose newly discovered relatives refused to see them. On paper this was the best possible outcome. But without the distraction of waiting for my DNA results, the shred of hope that it hadn't been true, it all hit me. Dad wasn't my biological father – and with that certainty some part of my identity fell away. When I tried to talk to Mum about what I had discovered, she simply ended the call. In frustration I sent her a picture of the donor, despite knowing that to see the face of the stranger who fathered her own child would be hard. I was furious at her denial at what was happening to me. I struggled to sleep or eat and couldn't concentrate at work. I would walk down the street, scanning stranger's faces; wondering if they were my biological relatives. By keeping my conception a secret, I had been at risk of accidental incest. The thought made me shudder. My grief for Dad returned in waves, followed by a question of whether I should even be grieving when he wasn't my biological father. Then I felt guilty that I had even thought that, and realised how much emotional turmoil I was in. The DCUK community saved me with both their online forums and their help in accessing counselling. In those sessions I realised I was allowed to be angry at both my parents for keeping my conception a secret. If I had been told as a child, if it had been normalised as part of my developing identity, maybe I wouldn't be struggling so badly now. Counselling also helped me see that I wanted to meet my new relatives, despite my fear of rejection. Which is how I found myself sitting in a coffee shop with Hannah. Her genuine joy calmed my nerves, and for two hours we talked. She spoke about Robert, how he had donated as a medical student to help couples. Now happily married, he had chosen not to have children of his own. Hearing her sisterly pride, clearly wanting me to feel the same, I guiltily thought of Dad. Would he have minded me looking through Hannah's family photos, seeing a nose or brow she thought I shared? When Hannah spoke about how clever Robert was, I thought of my own childhood nickname, 'the clever one'. Did Dad know it was a doctor who had fathered me? I felt a rush of confusion and sadness to think I had never know the answers. A month later I was hugging Joanne, who had received my text asking if we could meet and immediately invited me to stay. That made me smile, as it was exactly how I would have responded. I didn't see a physical resemblance, but when I told her I was starting an assessment for ADHD she said that her daughter was neurodiverse. With each new meet-up, text or chat, our bond grew, and I felt my shattered identity piecing back together. I would love to say that a year on from our dinner, my relationship with Mum has healed. Sadly, that hasn't happened. I suspect that it was fear that made her keep my donor conception a secret in my childhood, and fear that prevents her speaking openly about it now. And as long as she continues to do that, it's impossible for us to move forward. My feelings for Robert remain complicated. He isn't my father, and I don't want or expect anything from him. But when Hannah told me that he's visiting the UK later this year, it did make me wonder. Would I want to meet him? I'm trying not to put too much pressure on myself to decide anything right now, while he is considering whether or not he wants to meet us. As for Dad, I no longer scour my memories for clues to a mystery that will never be solved. I will never know how he felt about my conception, or how he would react to my knowing about it now. But I can finally think of that little girl fishing with her dad and smile. I've found peace in the knowledge that love can be based on something stronger than biology. Whatever my DNA results page says, he will always be my dad. See Donor Conceived UK for more details As told to Kate Graham Broaden your horizons with award-winning British journalism. Try The Telegraph free for 1 month with unlimited access to our award-winning website, exclusive app, money-saving offers and more.
CNET
an hour ago
- CNET
Turns Out Grilling Hot Dogs Isn't the Best Method — This One Is
Grilling hot dogs might feel like a summer tradition, but it can quickly turn into more trouble than it's worth. Firing up a full-sized gas grill just to cook a few links feels excessive, especially when you factor in the long preheat time, the cleanup and the inevitable hot dogs that slip through the grates. It's a lot of effort for something that should be quick, easy and satisfying. That's why I started tossing hot dogs into my air fryer instead, and I haven't looked back. In less than 10 minutes, they come out perfectly browned with a snappy skin and juicy interior. No flames, no mess, no babysitting the grill. It's a smarter way to make a classic summer food with none of the hassle. Whether you're cooking for a crowd or just craving a quick bite, this simple switch can make your hot dog game a whole lot easier. Four minutes on high later, those dogs came out absolutely snapping. The casings were crispy, the pork fat was singing and the flavor? Easily on par with any grill or boiled batch I've had -- minus the grill watching. Cleanup? A quick rinse and a soap squirt, and I was back on the couch before the ketchup hit the plate. My conclusion: An fryer is the best way to cook hot dogs, especially if you don't want to stand over a hot grill during a summer heat wave. As a bonus, you can make them all year, even when the cold weather sends your grill into a deep sleep. Here's why the air fryer is my new hot dog machine and how to make the perfect wiener in minutes. Why an air fryer the best way to make hot dogs Here's all you'll need for a speedy summer meal. David Watsky/CNET The air fryer's hot convection heat cooks salty, fatty hot dogs to a crisp in minutes. It's nearly impossible to overcook a hot dog so you don't have to worry about that. Using your air fryer to make hot dogs will save you on propane and from having to clean the grill. Air fryers also don't need to heat up the way grills do. Boiling hot dogs takes time. I also personally don't care for the soggy boiled dogs with very little snap. Plus, you can toast your hot dog bun in the air fryer with the dog. The same can't be said for the microwave or boiling method. So, toss aside your grilling apron and pick up the air-fryer basket. Making air-fryer hot dogs takes about 4 minutes and almost no effort or cleanup, and you could cook an entire package at once. You can cook an entire package of hot dogs as long as you don't crowd the basket too much. David Watsky/CNET How to make a perfect hot dog in an air fryer Spoiler alert: Air-fryer hot dogs couldn't be easier. This is true for one-step cooking. I used this $45 Dash air fryer but almost any model will do. Step 1 : Score your hot dogs with a knife (optional). : Score your hot dogs with a knife (optional). Step 2 : Cook hot dogs for 4 to 6 minutes on high (400 degrees F). : Cook hot dogs for 4 to 6 minutes on high (400 degrees F). Step 3: Add hot dog buns to the air fryer about 1 minute before the hot dogs are done. Air fryer hot dogs are as easy as it gets. David Watsky/CNET Should you score hot dogs before cooking in the air fryer? You can score your hot dog for extra crispy bits. David Watsky/CNET I tried both scored and unscored dogs. There wasn't a huge difference, and the unscored hot dogs didn't show any signs of bubbling or bursting. Scoring your hot dogs will prevent the occasional explosion and give you some crispier edges if you like that sort of thing. What else can you make in the air fryer? Roast chicken cooked in the air fryer is another one of my summer favorites. David Watsky/CNET The better question might be what can't you make in an air fryer? I've discovered the air fryer is excellent for making filets of salmon and whole-roasted chicken. You can make bacon in under 10 minutes and even cook a perfect medium-rare cheeseburger in the air fryer with no cleanup. Watch this: Best Air Fryers: Cheap vs. Expensive 19:24 Here are six things I'll only cook in the air fryer from now on, and seven things I won't ever make in the countertop cooker again.
Yahoo
an hour ago
- Yahoo
$100,000 grant helps bring Yawgoo Pond Trail closer to restoration. Here's what's planned.
The South Kingstown Land Trust received a $100,000 grant in June from The Champlin Foundation to help renovate the Yawgoo Pond Trail, according to a press release from the land trust. The grant will go toward preparing the Yawgoo Trail to open to the public. It has been closed since 2020. The Yawgoo Trail was closed in 2020 after a change in ownership of the surrounding land led to questions over property boundaries, since the trail was originally routed to avoid protected wetlands, according to the press release. The land trust began drafting a new trail route that was within their own property and did not disturb the surrounding protected land. The $100,000 will be used to reroute about 850 feet of trail, the press release said. This trail will include raised boardwalks and a bridge to avoid the wetland shrub swamp that will sit below the trail. The grant will also pay for parking improvements for trail users. The land trust is still trying to obtain the necessary permits and approvals to fully execute the restoration of this trail, according to the press release. The Champlin Foundation recently gave out a total of $8 million to nonprofits across Rhode Island dedicated to serving the community and preserving local ecosystems. 'In today's environment, where there is so much uncertainty and upheaval, the Foundation recognizes its responsibility to support the organizations that provide help and hope to Rhode Island,' Nina Stack, the foundation's executive director, said in a statement. The land trust is still $50,000 shy of the amount needed to complete the Yawgoo Pond Trail project, the organization's website said, and donations are being sought to help them reach their goal. Construction will not begin until the land trust has all the funds needed to complete the project, so that it can be timed to avoid damaging the Yawgoo ecosystem, according to Julia Landstreet, the land trust's executive director. 'In order to protect the fragile habitat at Yawgoo, construction can only happen during the dry seasons. That's why we're aiming to raise the necessary funds ahead of time, with that timing in mind,' Landstreet said in a statement. This article originally appeared on The Providence Journal: $100,000 grant brings Yawgoo Pond Trail closer to restoration
