EXCLUSIVE Are female bosses really meaner? Experts reveal why women in top positions seem stricter

Daily Mail​

10-05-2025

Evoking images of catty Devil Wears Prada stereotypes, women in senior positions may often be perceived as harsher and less approachable than their male counterparts. 'Girlbosses' are presented as being almost immorally ambitious, blunt and un-naturally cold - compared to benevolently 'entrepreneurial' male CEOs.
And according to the latest - albeit decade-old - statistic of its kind, both men and women would rather have a male boss than a female one.
Despite that, the number of women in senior positions is exceeding men, and women in mid level positions are more likely to be promoted.
So as we continue to adjust to a changing professional landscape, why are female bosses seen as meaner?
'To fit in at the top, ambitious women generally feel they need to communicate with those at the top, which are usually men,' Chelsea Brooke-Ward, an employment barrister, told FEMAIL.
'They start acting more assertive, more direct, because they want to be promoted - they're doing it for themselves.
'But there's a perception that women are more nurturing or approachable so when junior workers notice this change, they are unhappy.'
Chelsea added that women find themselves being criticised 'from both sides', with people finding them either too soft or too strict.
'They're criticised at the top for not being assertive enough and by those below for being unapproachable or unsupportive,' she explained.
Perhaps surprisingly, it is often women who are the loudest critics of their female seniors, she noted.
It's usually during serious professional interactions, such as terminations of employment or disciplinary hearings, where most conflict arises.
'Say you've got a woman that's going through a grievance or a disciplinary,' said Chelsea.
'I think those at the bottom expect a level of rapport with a female investigator but if she's standoffish in that type of setting, she's criticised.'
In this sense, women enact an internalised misogyny, where they believe other women should adhere to certain feminine traits.
And they may believe that fellow women, united in the gender struggle, will be kinder to them, regardless of rank.
Chelsea has acted in cases involving sex discrimination, pregnancy and maternity discrimination and hostile workplace cultures.
'I think there are conflicting opinions about how women at the top should behave - they're damned if they do and damned if they don't,' she added.
Interestingly, a large number of the barrister's discrimination cases have been related to the removal of reasonable adjustments by a new female line manager.
'When a female manager takes a male's place, then sometimes those reasonable adjustments are questioned,' said Chlesea.
'I don't know whether scepticism is more inherent in women than men.
'But it's also because women feel their performance is under more of a microscope.'
A working mother herself, Chelsea recalls many cases where a woman in a senior position has returned to work from having a child to find her leadership duties stripped.
'Even if they're just of child-bearing age, they may be overlooked for promotions simply because of the likelihood that they will have children.
'Sadly, it's not uncommon. And there are no proactive steps taken to inform women on maternity leave of potential promotions.
'When they come back, they feel let down but they don't want to rock the boat and appear sensitive.
'One case that's always stuck with me involved a woman returning from maternity leave to find her leadership responsibilities stripped away.
'The employer justified it on the grounds that she "seemed overwhelmed" and "part time working was not suitable to the role" and when questioning the decision she was being "difficult" and "paranoid".'
'She'd just had a baby but she hadn't lost her ability to lead,' Chelsea said. 'That subtle mix of benevolent sexism and outright discrimination is something I see far too often.'
Jody Findley struggled with sexism in her managerial role, prompting her to found MINDSETA, through which she delivers inclusive training to improve work cultures.
'Men automatically get respected in their roles, especially in a senior role,' she told FEMAIL.
'A woman and a man could have the same job, same pay, same responsibilities, but their experiences will be very different. And the difference is respect.'
In her leadership role, Jody says she opted for a collaborative approach.
'What I found is that I didn't get supported,' she said.
'If a man was asking for help, the response was "yes, anything you want".
'Whereas, as a female boss, when I was asking to collaborate it was "I haven't got time. I'm too busy. Do it yourself."
'So my approach didn't work and I can understand why a woman would try to be more stern and assert authority because when you're gentler, you won't get the same response as a man.'
Jody says that women's health also plays a role in the way they are treated professionally.
Women in the workplace often mask serious conditions such as PCOS and endometriosis, as well as the often debilitating effects of pregnancy, menstruation and menopause.
'I've got friends with really bad health problems and their work don't even know,' said Jody.
'They don't want to be devalued by their colleagues.'
When exploring the experience of women, the intersection of ethnicity, age, disability, sexual orientation and class all play a role.
'Black women are almost erased,' said Jody. 'As a Black woman, I've had to step out of institutions because I had no choice.
'The more senior I became, the more devalued and disrespected I was. I've been told to give up my chair for a white man - the level of disrespect is off the chain for a working class black woman.'
'And now, amid the trans debate, how are trans women navigating the workplace?'
Jody's resounding point was that female bosses must be supported by their colleagues.
She called for more workplace training on misogyny, women's health and collaboration.
'We need men to help women in the workplace - they're the gatekeepers. We need them to stand up and give a platform to women.'