Hate your ex? Give a poop-scented candle, name a cockroach after them this Valentine's Day
Calling itself the 'Valentine's Capital of the World,' the San Antonio Zoo might as well be the anti-Valentine's Day capital, too.
From poop-scented candles to naming a cockroach after your ex and even a cheeky 'meet your next ex' dating event, it's the perfect place to turn your V-Day frustration into something delightfully less ... romantic ... in a world dominated by heart-shaped chocolates and roses.
But for those who are feeling the love, the zoo isn't stopping there. In a bid to truly cement its title as the Valentine's Capital, it's also hosting a lineup of heartwarming events for more traditional celebrations.
"San Antonio Zoo has proudly embraced the title of 'Valentine's Day Capital of the World' — and this year, we're ready to prove the title is here to stay!" the zoo wrote on its website. "With events ranging from salty to sweet, the zoo promises to be the ultimate unforgettable destination for lovebirds, singles, or anyone looking for a memorable Valentine's Day experience this year. Whether you're out of love, in love, or looking for love, San Antonio Zoo has you covered!"
Visit the San Antonio Zoo website to view specific details for each event.
Back by popular demand: San Antonio Zoo's world-famous "Cry Me a Cockroach" fundraiser!
Got an ex you'd rather forget? This Valentine's Day, symbolically name a cockroach, rodent or veggie after them before it becomes a delicious snack for one of the zoo residents. It's the ultimate way to "ex-terminate" your past while supporting wildlife conservation efforts at the San Antonio Zoo.
Donation levels:
$10 cockroach
$25 rodent
$5 veggies (for the lighter grudge!)
Your donation doesn't just bring you sweet revenge — it also comes with:
A downloadable Valentine's Day card to share.
A special Valentine's Day video featuring one of the beloved zoo residents enjoying your named treat.
Celebrate Valentine's Day with a romantic evening at San Antonio Zoo's Africa Live! Hippo Viewing Cave. This exclusive dining event offers a candlelit ambiance, stunning wildlife views and a four-course gourmet meal with wine. Dine alongside Timothy and Uma, the zoo's resident hippos and their crocodile neighbors, while enjoying live music and expert insights from the animal care team.
New this year: Arrive early for a complimentary mixer 45 minutes before your seating for appetizers, cocktails (cash bar) and views of the hippo habitat.
Two seating options are available:
6 to 7:30 p.m.
8 to 9:30 p.m.
Tickets are $175 to $250 per person (21+), and reservations are required. Seating is limited.
Looking for the ultimate gag gift? The San Antonio Zoo's poop-scented candle has you covered. Infused with actual hippo essence (to put it kindly), this quirky candle is perfect for someone you can't stand — or someone you love with a great sense of humor. It's a gift they'll never forget (or stop talking about).
Fair warning: the unique scent comes courtesy of resident hippo Timothy, so you might see him in a whole new light if you catch him during dinner at the zoo.
"What's that irresistible scent in the air? Oh yes, it's the scent of hippo love!" the zoo wrote online. "Did you know that hippo poop is the ultimate cologne in the hippo world, used to woo potential mates? Now you can embrace the wild side of love with our Hippo Love Candle."
For $79 per person, guests 18 and older can take an after-dark cart ride through the zoo, where a guide will share details about wildlife romance — from courtship to copulation. The tour offers a humorous and informative look at the animal kingdom's amorous behaviors, according to the zoo website.
Event dates:
Feb. 13: 6 and 7:15 p.m.
Feb. 14: 6, 7:15 and 8:15 p.m.
Feb. 15: 6 and 7:15 p.m.
Each tour will consist of four guests per cart and will last approximately 40 minutes. Tickets also include a cuddly animal plush to take home. Tickets are limited, and reservations are required 48 hours in advance.
New in 2025, you can receive a special Animal Kiss Video featuring one of the zoo's adorable residents — like kangaroos, sloths or giraffes — 'booping' the camera with a kiss and showing you some love.
It's a perfect way to surprise someone special or spread joy on social media. Best of all, every Animal Kiss-o-Gram supports wildlife conservation and animal care at the zoo.
This article originally appeared on Austin American-Statesman: Hate your ex? How to name a roach after them this Valentine's Day
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